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Sunday, July 31, 2005

More, New Audio Clips

1) An exchange between John McLaughlin and Eleanor Clift on 'The McLaughlin Group' over Air(head)America and the Gloria Wise SCANDAL ?

2) The O'FrankenFailure Comments on not being live on the Air last week.

3) Bubba Stumps for MrsSatan in 2008

Press > on each clip to hear.

All celebrity voices are impersonated . . . or
are they?

John McLaughlin - Eleanor Clift Exchange?

O'FrankenFailure-Gloria Wise Comments

Bubba Stumps for MrsSatan

Saturday, July 30, 2005


Thank you very much for doing all you have done over the past five years. You see, you now know how 'we' felt during Bubba's eight, horrendous, pathetic, do-nothing years in the White House. The difference is, President Bush is actually DOING SOMETHING for the country where Bubba just coasted along, looking for the next intern who'd wet his willy.

Your RABID RAVENOUS BITTER LIBERAL party, you see, has nothing to offer America or the World. We've listened to you bitch and bitch for the previous five and one-half years, but you're bitching rings quite hollow. You offer nothing proactive or positive. You've actively sponsored NOTHING for the betterment of the U.S. or the world.

Yes, you have your little radio network Air(head) America, and you claim "The Big Guys (I guess you must be directing that towards Rush Limbaugh, Tony Snow, Laura Ingram, Bill Bennett, Hugh Hewitt, Dennis Prager, and Michael Medved - as well as your nemesis Fox News: FAIR and BALANCED) Are Scared of us." Pffffffft! You're network is a joke and the personalities you have are a bunch of recovering or active alcoholics, celebrities who've hit the bottom career-wise, or blubbering, blabbering, uninformed talking heads who couldn't hold a candle to the likes of Snow or Limbaugh, let along the intelligence and analysis of a John McLaughlin or William F. Buckley, Jr.

Yes, people like Janeane Garofool-oh-fool-oh and Castrati Boy Malloy. Whew! Deep thinkers they consider themselves. Diminutive Dwarfs is more like it. And yet, you claim to be the party of compassion. Here is compassion for you; on Friday July 29th, Castrati Boy Malloy, to the tune of the children's song "The Wheels on The Bus Go Round and Round" replaced those lyrics with, referring to the July 7th London subway terror attacks: "The people on the bus are blown to bits, blown to bit, blown to bits, the people on the bus are blown to bits early in the morning."

Don't believe me. Go to his website, write down his program's phone number and call him Monday and ask him. Or, if he archives his show (God knows I don't know if he does), go listen to his "compassion" for what happened on July 7th in London. Oh, Castrati Boy, I take so much solace in the fact that you are an old man, much older than I. And by all actuarial accounts I will outlive you. And I'm gonna have one f*cking field day ripping you up one side and down the other come the day you take that dirt nap. The Haggard Helen pig roasting on a spit photo is a mild, Sunday School reading compared to the treatment you will receive here.

And then we have the Gloria Wise issue, with Air(head) America stealing money, embezzling really, from elderly Alzheimer patients and hungry children. Why, just the same group that Liberals falsely accuse conservatives of attacking. The childhood saying of "When you point a finger at me you have three pointing back at yourself" couldn't ring more true.

I could write a 100,000 word piece on the "Aaahhhhhhhhh...Aaahhhhhh....Aaaahhh" of the O'FrankenFailure, the noxious, nails-across-a-chalkboard-screech of Cacklin' Lampshade, the dormant brain of Garofool-oh-fool-oh, the totally uninformed Wendy Mild, former North Dakota weatherman (or was it sports reporter?) Big Fat Eddy, and of course, girly voiced Castrati
Boi Malloy.

But here is what it all comes down to; you offer no solutions or cures for the problems that anyone, anywhere face. You have exposed yourselves and your party for what it really is; a party that offers nothing substantive. You have no plan(s), even though your last losing presidential candidate Kerry claims different. It's funny, if you do the research, Kerry knew by late afternoon on Election Day that he had lost, that he didn't have, nor would he get, the Electoral Votes needed to put him in the White House. Yet, he pretended there still was hope. And that's what your Liberal Party is, a party pretending there is hope when there is none.

Again, Senator "I Have A Plan", WHEN will the public see your service records that you so vociferously claimed would be made public once you signed Form 180?

I thank you all for digging the grave of your own party, saving me the physical labor of having to grab a number two shovel and dig it for you. The best part is, it's damn fun sitting in the shade, sipping on a cool beverage, watching all of you dig your own grave. I don't even break out in a sweat. Thank you Liberals, please by all mean, keep going in the direction you have been. Watching you self destruct has become a wonderful and new spectator sport! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.


Friday, July 29, 2005


I've gone ahead and had my name legally changed to "Dick Cheney" and will be running on the ballot of the Mrssatan Blog Party Platform in 2008. If the current, real Dick Cheney runs for president, which I hope he does, then I will withdraw my name.

This is all being done so Helen The Haggard will keep her promise to kill herself, if Cheney runs in '08, as she said earlier this week. Of course, she's a lying Liberal, so there's no reason to think she would keep her word.

Until then..."Soooey! Soooey! Soooey!"

Do you suppose her problem is she just never got laid?

For larger image of the above CLICK HERE but be warned...it's she's an ugly one!

Below is a recent photo of her good friend Little Castrati Boy Mikey Malloy. Maybe he can put out her methane ass fire?

Hey Little Girly Voiced Castrati Boy Malloy, are you BIG enough to put out Haggard Helen's fire? I doubt it!

And don't go telling me I'm being mean with this post. Have you ever listened to either of these (to quote the Castrati Boy): "Lying sonsobitches who are both members of Crime Families?" Yeah, Helen The Hog and Castrati Boy can dish it out, but can they take it as well?

"Soooey! Soooey! Soooey!" Go ahead Girly Voiced Castrati Boy, go 'plug' Haggard Helen's fiery, flaming a**hole. I can't think of a better use for you.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Audio Explanation on Air(head) America Theft

Here is the authentic explanation on the Air(head) America Theft from the poor.

All celebrity voices are impersonated. . .or are they?

Press > to play.

O'FrankenFailure Explanation of Robbing The Poor

Air(head) America STEALS from the POOR!

WHAT -- did George Soros' check bounce?

Whatcha' got to say about this, little, girly-voice Castrati Boy Mikey Malloy?

Michelle Malkin

    NewsTeam POSTED: 07.27.05 @08:23
    Air America is being investigated in New York for diverting federal/local funds--possibly "hundreds of thousands of dollars"--meant for inner-city kids and senior into the station's coffers.

    Um, why isn't the New York Times, which has spilled tons of adulatory ink on the liberal radio network, covering this scandal on its front page?

    Radio blogger Brian Maloney has the lowdown. Read the whole thing. He sniffed out the story when he spotted this tidbit buried in the NY Daily News about Air America being targeted in a NYC Department of Investigation probe of kids' and seniors' programs being ripped off in the Bronx:

    A Bronx congressman yesterday praised the smooth takeover of dozens of programs serving thousands of youngsters and seniors across the borough after the city yanked funding from two sponsoring agencies that have come under a cloud.

    The nonprofit Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club and its affiliate Pathways for Youth found their city contracts, running into the millions of dollars, abruptly ended last month by the city Department of Investigation...

    In its initial announcement, the DOI said it was probing allegations that program officials "approved significant inappropriate transactions and falsified documents that were submitted to various city agencies."

    According to published reports, the allegations involve Charles Rosen, the founder of Gloria Wise who has stepped down as executive director, investing city contract funds in Air America Radio, the liberal talk radio network. Evan Cohen, Air America's former chairman, had served as Gloria Wise's director of development.


"I Don't Like Spam...I mean, Republicans!"

(With profuse apologies to the genius of Monty Python)

The "I Hate Republicans" Sketch:

From Left to Right: The Internet Inventor, Mr. Impaired Driving Skills, Mr. "I Have A Plan", The Klansman, Bubba, Madeline FatBright, "MeatHead", Flabbius Maximus, Mrs Satan

Internet Inventor: I honed tobacco fields and spoke with Johnny Carson on the telephone, but I still want another recount in Florida!
Impaired Driving Skills: Where's my neckbrace and my bourbon (hic)?
I Have A Plan: I Have a Plan!
The Klansman: Where's my hood?
Bubba: Rob Reiner...you sure have a nice ass. Why, if you'd just bend over the counter for a few minutes...
FatBright: We all believed Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Flabbius: I'm hungry...Hungry! HUNGRY! FEED ME! WHERE'S MY FOOD!
MrsSatan: Damn Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas; littering and shoplifting.

All Together: We Don't Like Republicans...because they're beating us, (waaah, waaah), it's not...it's not...FAIR !

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Albert Gore: Internet Inventor, Joke Writer, Bitter, Bitter Liberal!

Although he doesn't yet (as I publish this) have the story up, Drudge is reporting that Internet Inventor and former LOSING presidential contender Albert Gore would run his jokes by... Johnny Carson.

"Uh, okay stop me if you've heard this one...a former vice-president who lost his presidential bid walks into a bar....oh, you've heard that one? Okay - um, the inventor of the internet walks into a bar....oh, you've heard that one too?"

Friday, July 22, 2005

Secret Sound Clips From an "Unnamed Source"

I cannot tell you how I came across the following, my source is secret.

With the one exception of the voice mail message left on my answering service, and noted as such, the others must remain anonymous.

Press the sideways triangle to hear each audio clip below.
(All voices are impersonated . . . or are they?)

Chris Matthews in 60 Seconds

Secret Bubba Phone Call?

A Threat From Bubba?

A Message On My Voice Mail

The Dead Walk Amongst Us...

...In the form of Helen 'The Hag' Thomas. What a partisan slug she is. Andrew Denton: That's a lovely, er, cameo. What kind of a man is Bill Clinton? Helen Thomas: Well, I think his heart was in the right place. I think that he really was trying very hard to be a very good president. Of course, er, there was some tarnishing with his personal liaisons, but on the whole, I think that he did a good job.

Just another member of the 'objective press', aren't you Helen? Big difference when it comes to questioning Scott McClellan as opposed to Joe Lockjaw...er, Lockhart or taking at face value "I am unable to comment on an ongoing investigation" when said by Mr. Janet "Shaky The Clown" Reno, isn't it Helen?

Warning: Looking at the below picture for prolonged periods of time may cause blindness, or severe and irreversible retina damage:

Haggard Helen, The Queen of The White House Press Corps
(My scrotum has less wrinkles than her face.)

MrsSatan: She's Got Balls; Tackles The Really Tough Issues!

MrsSatan is really, REALLY tackling the tough, hard, and difficult issues of the day as the Senatewhore from New York, isn't she? Whew - wow - get me some nitroglycerin, I'm having heart palpitations from her hard-hitting investigation of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Because...because the game has animated...get ready -- sexual situations! Woo Hoo! OH MY GOSH!

C'mon MrsSatan, we all know its not sex. Why, your hubby Bubba taught us that sex isn't sex, and certainly video or computer game sex isn't sex. Sex is never sex, according to you and 'da Bubba-man, right? And you have the gall to go after this mild, non-news issue? Huh - I guess you, being the smartest woman in the world, have tackled and solved all the other more important issues facing the United States and the world.

What a grandstanding, phony piece of sh*t. What next big issue are you going to tackle, MrsSatan? Littering? Wow, that could be a huge issue that just
may get you elected to the White House in 2008.

Here's another two issues that are at the top of this list that needs your attention: Shoplifting and people who don't pick up after their dog does "their duty". Why, they both are
epidemics, to use a word the Left grasps near and dear to their bosom. Whew, try not to spend all your time on these issues that simply dwarf all other global issues. Remember to get some sleep, and drink plenty of water. We wouldn't want for you to dehydrate or become ill solving problems that no one else has the balls or political savvy to tackle.

MrsSatan: The Warrior Who's Not Afraid to Tackle The Tough Issues!

Cocaine Possession Lesser Offense Than Theft! Minne"SNOW"ta Style!

Hmmm, let's see now; one man gets nine months in PRISON for auctioning off stolen goods while another man gets one year in Ramsey County (Minnesota) workhouse (with a three to six month actual sentence) for stealing and possessing TWO POUNDS OF COCAINE, which he stole from work. Oh, the cokehead was also the assistant director of the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension. I guess it has to be who you know and who you blow, not an evenly applied standard of law:

From the Minneapolis Republic of North Korea Fishwrap/Asswipe Tribune:

The moral of the story: If nabbed in MN, always say your two pounds of cocaine is for personal use. And NEVER steal from your employer.

"Oh, Dat's So Sad" News

Poor Widdle Andrea:

Andrea Mitchell feels "angry, humiliated, embarrassed after Sudan Incident". "Oh, Dat's So Sad!" Ummmmm - let's see, it was a photo op, those attending were told so, and were asked not to ask questions. Yeah, those three items are really hard to comprehend - something along the lines of quantum physics or the theory of worm holes in space.

Poor widdle Andrea..."[I] was shoved as [I] entered a room where Rice and el-Bashir were posing for pictures."

"Reporters don't want to become part of the story," she said. Bwa-HA HA HA-Hardy Har Har! WTF world are you living in, Andrea? Of course you want to become part of the story, you want the attention and the limelight.

"...but to drag a reporter out just for asking is inexcusable behavior." What a bunch of hooey. Naw, what's inexcusable Andrea is for your lack of understanding of a basic, simple request: That it was a photo-op, no questions. Maybe the chemicals in the hair dye you use have soaked through into your brain so much so you simply have lost the ability to understand a basic request.

Poor widdle Andrea ... why don't you just give up the reporter gig? You're really not that good at it. Stay home and take care of Alan. Try to get him to drop the prime lending rate. Now THAT'D be good work on your part!

Poor Widdle Saddam:

The former, underwear model/dictator complains he's not getting the access to his attorneys that's he'd like
"Is this the law?" Yeah, I know what you're thinking - we could turn him over to the families and survivors of those he killed and let them mete out his justice. How sweet that would be, wouldn't it?

Hey, 'ya know what? Let's go ask the surviving family members of the Kurds that you gassed to death if they think you afforded their deceased loved ones access to attorneys? Let's ask the relatives of those you killed in Southern Iraq if they believe you allowed the deceased ample access to their legal teams before you murdered them.

Hotdamn sumobitch, why oh why didn't we just 'cap' this a**hole when we captured him, and save the world from this pathetic attempt to afford this modern day Hitler his day in court?


Thursday, July 21, 2005

Islamofascist Cowards Attack London Again

When I first heard the news this morning about London, initially, I thought it was a follow-up story to what happened two weeks ago. But no, sadly, the cowardly bastards struck again. I am SICK of this sh*t. I've had it. I have no problem or issue with the U.S. or the U.K, or any of our allies, should they choose to begin lobbing Tactical Nuclear Weapons into the "sacred cities" of Islam. F*ck 'em, destroy them, obliterate them. Collateral damage? Yep, there will be collateral damage. Innocents will be killed, that is the price of the war that
they started. Too damned bad. For those fools, the idiots on the Left, the myopic, granular pea-sized brain individuals who will try to put the blame on President Bush and Prime Minister Blair, who will try to put the blame on the United States, I am re-running the Terror Timeline written by T. James Edwards first published on this site July 9:

London Bombings: Who Is Responsible?

We are beginning to hear the usual claptrap about Bush's aggressive wars in Afghanistan and Iraq being responsible for European bombings. This is a muddled stretch of the Bush-hating imagination, and here's why:

1984: (17 years before Bush): Muslims bombed US embassy in Beirut, Lebanon
1985: (16 years before Bush): Muslims bombed restaurant in Madrid, Spain; Muslims hijacked TWA flight 847 en route from Athens to Rome; Muslims hijacked cruise ship Achille Lauro; Muslims bombed airports in Rome and Vienna
1986: (15 years before Bush): Muslims bombed TWA flight 840 en route from Rome to Athens; Muslims bombed a disco in Berlin
1988: (13 years before Bush): Muslims bombed passenger jet above Lockerbie, Scotland
1993: (eight years before Bush): Muslims bombed the World Trade Center
1995: (six years before Bush): Muslims bombed Paris subway
1996: (five years before Bush): Muslims bombed barracks in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia
1998: (three years before Bush): Muslims bombed embassies in Kenya and Tanzania
2000: (one year before Bush): Muslims bombed the USS Cole in Yemen

This list above is hardly complete. It begins well before 1984, and continues through this day. Doubtless, it will keep going into the future. To get a complete picture of terrorism, visit the Terrorism Knowledge Base, one of the word's largest and most comprehensive databases chronicling the cruel deaths of innocent people.

The fact is, for more than 30 years, Muslims (the extreme variety) have deemed it acceptable and somehow productive to slaughter innocents as they travel to and from work, to shopping malls, and while sipping espresso at sidewalk cafes. Their cowardice has killed women, children, Muslims, Jews, Christians, Americans, Italians, French -- you know the drill. Characterizing this very old menace as something Bush is responsible for is an absurdity Anton Chekhov would fully appreciate. Bush is the first world leader to fight back in earnest, and that's why he twice earned my vote. Bill Clinton's errant guided missiles and full retreat from Mogadishu only resulted in an environment making 9/11 possible. And the puzzling responses to terrorism partially explains John Kerry's defeat.

The big question for American liberals and worldwide Bush-haters: Is it never okay for us to fight back?

And a suggestion for the same crowd: Review the list above, browse the Terrorism Knowledge Base, and then couch your irrational hatred of Bush. It's misplaced, and it's getting old.

And there is This item from Mens Daily News.com, by Tom Purcell from July 7, 2005:

An Open Letter to Our Islamofascist Buddies

I understand your confusion. You've probably been misunderstanding some of the messages that have been reported on the news -- those in which some American 'leaders' have stopped attacking the terrorists and instead attacked their president, who is unflinching in his efforts to defeat you.

But what you keep forgetting is that America is a free country. Anyone here is free to speak his or her mind. People can say anything even if it isn't true or even if it is intended to twist or confuse. And some of our 'leaders' have been doing just that. They hope to weaken the president with the hopes of winning back political power.

I can see how you could misunderstand that. The irony is that the best thing you could have done was to have NOT launched another attack. If you wanted to weaken our resolve to defeat you, you could have just sat back while America argued with itself, while we forgot how barbaric you really are.

But you blew it again.

This latest bombing reminds us of the way you beheaded Nick Berg, a fun-loving American fellow who did nothing to wrong you, and how you praised your God while you murdered him.

It reminds us of the way you took over a school in Chechnya, killing innocent children. And how you blew up the trains just before the Spanish elections. And how you've detonated bombs all over the world on numerous occasions with the hopes of spreading fear and terror, and how you killed thousands in America on 9/11.

This last act in London was just as horrific as your past work. I read the reports of walls covered with blood, of body parts spread about the twisted steel. That is your signature, isn't it. Well it's a dumb signature.

The truth of the matter is that you fellows aren't very smart. You had a nice host country in Afghanistan -- you were free to train terrorists and foment your hatred -- but then you attacked America on 9/11. You expected us to cower, but you got the opposite. You've been on the run ever since.

And just as America was turning on itself -- just as Democratic senators and others have had some success clouding what the war on terror is really about and making Bush and the Republicans the bad guys -- you go and strike again, which has caused America to come back to its senses again.

I think it is because you are a bunch of narcissists. You suffer from the worst of human sin and weakness, while wrapping yourselves in the cloak of your religion. You are so lost in yourselves, you actually believe God is on your side as you slaughter the innocent.

That is why you keep miscalculating, you nitwits, and thanks to your miscalculations, you have strengthened our resolve just when we needed a jolt.

That's why it's not going to work, boys.


With all respect for Mr. Purcell and his fine article, I only have two comments: One: They are not our buddies. They are the lowest form of life on earth. Despicable bastards who deserve to burn in hell, as I'm sure they will. Two: 'Nitwits' is too kind a word Mr. Purcell. Again, they are bastards practicing murder in the name of their religion.

It's time to end this bullsh*t; this jihad of terrorism in the name of Allah. TNC them, TNC their cities, their people, and yes, their children as well. Because their children are being taught to hate us, to hate countries that believe in freedom and that believe in a justice system of innocence until proven guilty. They do not afford the courtesy of being presumed innocent.

They have started something that must be ended, and ended quickly and painfully. They are a malignant cancer that must be immediately sliced off the face of the earth.

They must be removed from the earth. Not jailed, not brought to trial, not dealt with in the scenario of world courts.
We must respond in kind, for that is the only response they will understand. With TNC's.

We stand with you and by your side, London. We stand by and with our allies. It's time to take them "out" and remove these bastards from the planet. Period! End of story.


Happy Birthday MISTER Reno

We at mrssatan do not honor or wish Mister Reno a happy birthday (July 21, 1938) in any way, shape or form. We will save the celebrating for the day when Mister Reno succumbs to the final "dirt nap".

Instead, we remember Elian, his relatives in Miami, and those that supported him and those that prayed he would have been able to stay here, in the U.S., rather than being returned to Cuba.

In doing so, mrssatan associate S.T. Miller submits the following:

The Elian Song
(To the tune of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by the Clash)

I floated in to Miami
To my uncle they gave me
Juan Miguel says "Give him back!"
Or Janet Reno will attack.
Mariselysis please don't let go,
Don't wanna go back to Castro.

It's always Si Si Si!
I want to stay in Miami.
One day is fine, next I am back
Thanks to Clinton and his flacks
Well come on and let me know
Can I stay or do I go?

Can I stay or do I go now?
Can I stay or do I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
Miami Beach it will be rubble
So Judge don't be a pendejo
Can I stay or do I go?

This indecision's bugging me
If SWAT teams swarm I'll have to flee
Exactly where I do not know
Come and hide me Donato
From that bitch Janet Reno!
Don't wanna go back to Castro.

Can I stay or do I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
So you gotta let me know
Can I stay or do I go?

Instead of concentrating on hunting down terrorists and al-Qaida, the Bubba Administration and Mr. Reno picked on such formidable threats as a little, defenseless Cuban boy, as well as killing innocents in Waco, Texas, while ignoring and appeasing the growing threat in North Korea and selling missile technology to the Chinese Communists, and lobbing a few missiles at al-Qaida. My, how proud Bubba and Mister Reno must be of themselves.

Find Plenty O' Tasteless Jokes HERE
about Mister Reno, or, as I often call her "Shaky The Clown". Sorry folks, I don't buy the alleged Parkinson Disease. I think her shaking is nothing but an act to garner sympathy.

Shake Janet, Shake. Shake until your heart stops beating. The most worthless attorney general this country has ever seen under the most worthless president that ever, EVER, occupied the White House. Ahh yes, all of you LPOS must be so proud of yourselves.

Mister Janet Reno

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

RIP James Doohan

James Doohan, best known as Scotty on the original television series Star Trek, as well as six Star Trek films, died at the age of 85. MSNBC has a Very Nice Write-Up Here on Mr. Doohan.

A few excerpts from MSNBC:
It's been fun for your many fans as well! Can anybody name any actor, living or dead, that could have captured the role of Scotty any better than Mr. Doohan. No Way!

My favorite scene of Scotty, where Doohan really shines and shows he's got 'chops' as an actor, in is 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan". Near the end, when Spock enters the chamber to sacrifice his life for the sake of the lives of the crew, and Scotty is on the outside of the plexiglas, and watches Spock as he dies.

Rest In Peace Scotty and consider yourself "Beamed Up".

WNBA To Get New Basketball

WNBA President Donna Orender today unveiled a publicity photo of the newly designed basketball that the league will begin using next season. "We're really happy with it, we think it will bring on a whole new league of fans," she said. NBA President David Stern agreed that the new basketball is more than just a marketing gimmick. "This is a bold step forward and I will bring this to the attention of each team owner at our next meeting," said Stern. Patterned after the large, perfectly spherical head of Time Magazine reporter Matthew Cooper, the ball is said to be far more durable than normal basketballs.


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

More Air(head) America Clips and a "PHC" Clip

Audio Blog . . . man - I'm having more fun with this gizmo than Bubba at a whore house, or Turd Kennedy at a Scotch distillery.

I've added a new clip of Air(head) America personality Wendy Mild...ur "Wild" - yeah Wendy, you're so wild and out there. There's a name for women like you. It rhymes with "runt".

Last night Castrati Boy Mikey Malloy lamented how hard it was to find a babysitter for his kids. Hey, Castrati Boy - you're a raving Lib who believes in rehabilitation for criminals, right? Why not get Joseph Duncan to sit for your kids? You must believe in "giving felons and child molesters another chance". . . don't you, Castrati Boy? Castrati Boy...he's married to a woman? A woman with a penis? And hey, Castrati Boy, while your at it, you keep calling Republicans vampires. Hell, I'll take that as a compliment. Count Chocula is one of my heroes!

More clips below from SAW (Al Franken) and Cacklin' Lampshade, Fat Eddy Schultz, Castrati Boy Mikey Malloy, Gary Keillor, and Wendy Mild.

All voices are impersonated . . . or are they? ENJOY! (Just click on the sideways triangle to play each clip).

SAW (Al Franken) & Cacklin' Lampshade 4

SAW (Al Franken) & Cacklin' Lampshade 5

Fat Eddy Schultz 3

Fat Eddy Schultz 4

"Gary" and a Prairie Homo Companion (no offense intended except to Gary the PBS teat-sucker)

Castrati Boy Mikey Malloy 2

Wendy (w)Mild - She kind of sounds like Cousin It from "The Adams Family", but Cousin It is cuter!

Paging Dr. Hartley and Dick Loudon

The date: Tomorrow, Wednesday July 20th
The time: 7PM Central Time
The channel: P(ee)BS
The program: American Masters
The topic: BOB NEWHART

For once P(ee)BS hasn't wait until
after someone has died to profile them on American Masters, and Bob Newhart is not only deserving of it, the man is a comedic genius. 'Brilliant' doesn't do him justice. The man is simply a comedy "god".

Here is an interview with "Dr. Bob".

Q: Of all your accomplishments, of what are you most proud?

BN: I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

Q: Is there anything you haven't done that you'd like to do in the coming years?

BN: I think I've done more than I thought I was ever going to do. No, I've had a very long and very satisfying career.

Mr. Newhart, you are simply "The Best"!

A Right Wing Art Gallery Collector Edition

A One Time Only, Special Limited Edition To the Right Wing Art Gallery:

(With profuse apologies to 'South Park' and Turd Sandwich!)


Monday, July 18, 2005

Air(head) America in Six Minutes

If you are unfamiliar with the hugely poopular Air(head) America personalities below, I've condensed their programs into six one-minute sound clips.

The first three clips are from
SAW and his co-host Cacklin' Lampshade.

Cacklin' Lampshade

Here is the Story on Cacklin's little DUI-vehicular side-swipe hit-and-run.

There are two clip from Fat Eddy Schultz.

The last clip is from Castrati Boy Mikey Malloy.

All voices are impersonated . . . or
are they? ENJOY!

SAW (Al Franken) & Cacklin' Lampshade 1

SAW (Al Franken) & Cacklin' Lampshade 2

SAW (Al Franken) & Cacklin' Lampshade 3

Fat Eddy Schultz 1

Fat Eddy Schultz 2

Castrati Boy Malloy

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Billgina Monologues

The Billgina Monologues© 2005 David Drake

"[Ours will be] the most ethical administration in the history of the Republic."
(Washington Week in Review, PBS, February 25, 1994)

"I ask that all Americans demonstrate in their personal and public lives... the high ethical standards that are essential to good character and to the continued success of our Nation."
(October 17, 1997. "National Character Counts Week")
From: Presidential Quotes

"I think it's plain that the president should resign and spare the country the agony of this impeachment and removal proceeding," Clinton said. "I think the country could be spared a lot of agony and the government could worry about inflation and a lot of other problems if he'd go on and resign."
From: Arkansas Online

"I can spend your money better than you can."

"Every time Bush talks about trust it makes chills run up and down my spine. The way he has trampled on the truth is a travesty of the American political system."
(Describing his opponent, George H.W. Bush, Federal News Service, 10/28/92)

"They've been exposed as the trash they are."
(Bill Clinton, January 27, 1992, speaking about the allegations that he had a 12 year affair with Gennifer Flowers. January 1998, Bill Clinton admits under oath in the Paula Jones deposition that he had an affair with Gennifer Flowers) Arkansas Gazette
From: Bill Clinton - Stupid Statements

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."
(Washington, D.C., January 26, 1998)
From: The History Channel

"Probably there are people in this room still mad at me, at the budget, because you think I raised your taxes too much. It might surprise you to know that I think I raised them too much too."
(Houston, TX - October 17, 1995)
From: National Review


World Stops Blogging

The worldwide blogosphere came to a grinding halt at precisely 12:07AM this morning as bloggers around the globe uploaded their final posts and articles. Blog site hosts expressed dismay and incredulity at the unexpected and sudden halt.

"We were overwhelmed and shocked at the timing of when this happened, but not that it happened," said Jim McJim, President of the International Bloggers Union. "There's simply nothing left to say or write about," he said.

Recently blogs appeared to be carbon copies of the same topics that were previously published at other sites. Normally there is a vast variety of what bloggers write about, but recently blogs were simply mimicking every other blog.

"It's clear that subjects and topics had become exhausted and there wasn't anything new to say," stated McJim. Bloggers pride themselves on writing about breaking news, making news, politics, and virtually every subject under the sun. But according to McJim, it was only a matter of time until all topics had been covered over and over again.

Dingus Cabbage, of the well known Cabbage Blog, the oldest and most popular blog site in North America, holds the distinction of posting the last item on the blogosphere, at 12:07:57AM. "I posted my final piece, the last of a one hundred and nine part series on Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, logged out of my hosting site, and called it quits," said Cabbage. "I'm going to spend more time with my wife, kids, and at the neighborhood tavern down the block", he says.

India's most popular blogger is Kwarkisharri Omgibigi of New Delhi; his blog, Kwarki's Place, averages well over seven hits per day. "I started my blog weeks ago and wrote about every topic that exists," says Omgibigi. "But then a couple days ago I realized that I had nothing further to say," he says. Aware that other bloggers he knew were feeling the same way, Omgibigi said he suspected in the back of his mind that it wouldn't be long before they all stopped blogging.

"It is indeed a sad day," said Dr. Leather Hockleer, of the Interplanetary Blogger Consortium. Hockleer, along with Albert Gore, are credited for inventing the internet and the blogger phenomenon. "Now where will the masses get their information," asks Hockleer.

McJim expects some other new type of activity will replace blogging. "I hate to call it a fad," proffers McJim, "but what I think will replace blogging is people yelling and shouting their opinions directly in the face of other people. It may take a while to catch on, but I think it will be even bigger than blogging. Really, really big!"
© 2005

Underwear Three Sizes Too Small or Severely Retarded?

Of course I'm talking about the Castrati sounding, whining, liberal turd Mikey Malloy, vindictive "hater of Republicans."

Mikey makes me laugh; real damn hard. Mikey, your voice is almost girlish, especially when you squeal in anger. Are your BVD's three sizes too small, a lack of testosterone, or is the castrati thing working against you?

Last night I listened to his radio show. I believe in listening to the enemy. All of a sudden, during a commercial break, the announcer said, "You're listening to the Best of Mike Malloy". Well, HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT if I hadn't been told. Why, I didn't know there was anything 'best' about you!

Here's what Le' Castrati Mikey had to say:

"(George) Bush and (Tony) Blair lie about everything." Hey Mikey, if you believe that, why aren't you used to it? We had eight years of lies from your Boy Bubba. What's the difference?

"A child dies (due to hunger) every three seconds." And that wasn't happening during Bubba's two terms? What'd Bubba do about world hunger? Mikey, I bet you're a big PRO-abortion advocate. How do you rationalize weeping about starving children when you advocate killing a human being who will never get the chance to eat?

Mikey also damn near wept for terrorists in Afghanistan, Iraq, Gitmo and Abu Gharib.

You know what Castrati Boy - I hate you too. But I find your show a laugh riot. Keep your fine, high-pitched girlish voice on the airwaves because "SAW" never was funny.


Thursday, July 14, 2005

Rock The Boat, Don't Rock The Boat Baby

Dilpazier Aslam is a Guardian trainee journalist who is not pleased that the Terrorists killed in Falluja were not mourned as those in the July 7 attack in London were.

Well, perhaps Dilpazier Aslam has a bright future working for the staff of John Kerry, MrsSatan, or Cluck Schumer?

Rock The Boat.

Hat Tip to TJE for the story.

9/11 Again; Only More Severe?

I listened to most of the Michael Savage program yesterday, where he interviewed Paul Williams, a former FBI consultant. Mr. Williams, according to the Savage program, is due to have a book out in a few months detailing how al-Qaida has 5,000 sleeper-cell terrorists that already are in the U.S. via entry through the U.S. - Mexican border. Mr. Williams also claims these terrorists have twenty suitcase nukes in the U.S. and are planning to detonate them in Boston, New York, Chicago, Washington DC, Miami , Las Vegas, Houston, Los Angeles and other major cities.

A caller to the program, who said he was former military, said he doubted that it is suitcase nukes that the sleeper cells possess. He said it was more likely that they had Dirty Bombs.

Somehow, I don't rest any easier knowing its Dirty Bombs rather than Suitcase Nukes.

Of course, there are those who call these predictive allegations outrageous. And maybe they are. But what if they're not? If you thought that the economy and consumer confidence waned after 9/11 (and it did!), what would you think it would be like after a dirty bomb or suitcase nuke attack?

As if that isn't enough to be concerned over, we also have the possibility of KGB agents in cahoots with al-Qaida
Representative Tom Tancredo was to meet with Mr. Williams today. I haven't yet heard or read if that took place or not. Tancredo is one of the few voices urging a stronger stance in the border issues the U.S. faces with Mexico.

HERE is, purportedly, the full text of Osama Bin Laden's letter to the United States. Clearly, this man (or whomever wrote the letter) is a madman, practicing violence and mass murder in the name of his religion.

It appears that at least three Britons of Pakistani descent carried out the attacks in London on July 7. This certainly makes the argument for a stronger and more guarded policy for borders, language and culture.

If someone has made up their mind to kill you, chances are they are going to either succeed in their goal, or die trying. The only defense you have is to have knowledge of when and where it is to take place and avert it, or apprehend or kill them before they kill you.

One bomb ("dirty" or suitcase nuke) would devastate the U.S. Twenty would return us to the 17th Century. It would make the Great Depression seem like a Sunday picnic.

If Nazism had been a religion during World War II, would we have afforded Nazis the same benefit of the doubt that we now afford suspected terrorists at Gitmo? At Abu Ghraib? Hardly! Well, not unless you believe in the erroneous Liberal ideology that terrorists can be dealt with through legal channels and the court system. One can only imagine people like John Kerry or the former, ousted Spanish government asking Heinrich Himmler if he'd prefer Splenda or Sweet N' Low with his coffee, and if the air conditioning is too cold.
© 2005

Karl Rove Broke No Law

I watched some of the PBS News Hour last night. Yep, I'm one of those freeloaders who has never voluntarily donated one cent to PBS. However, PBS does rape me, and everyone else, for our money via taxes.

Anyway, it was interesting to hear former Deputy Assistant (under President George H.W. Bush) Ed Rogers debate the scuzzball John "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil of Clinton et al" Podesta over the Karl Rove/Valerie Plame item.

Podesta called it a "serious breach of national security." Rogers said it's a story that will dissipate in days or weeks, and I believe he is absolutely correct.

Rogers also noted that, no matter when or where Liberals lose their election or re-election, the one thing they cannot accept is defeat due to their own selves. That they always blame someone else, or something else. Damn, if that isn't true. With Al "I Invented The Internet" Gore the blame was placed on Florida and voters "too stupid" to understand the ballot. With John "I Have a Plan" Kerry it was the voters and the voting machines in Ohio.

I will never fail to be amazed by the fact that Liberals simply refuse to accept responsibility for their losses. For them, the loss is never their fault. They immediately begin pointing fingers at someone or something other than themselves.

But that's okay. People are wise to their antics. Actually, I encourage the Libs to keep up their tactics since it seems to be working against them all the time.

John Podesta...I turn over a rock, and see earthworms and slugs. If I dig deeper, I find the likes of Podesta. If I dig further, I find 'tarded cueball James Carvile. If I keep digging, eventually I get to China, and find Bubba and Al getting paid off by the Chi-Coms.

Liberalism; proof your Momma dropped you on your head several times as a child.
© 2005

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Joseph Duncan: Stalked Victims, Used Night Vision Goggles

The Story is Here.
The hard part: Hebrews 13: 1-3 1 Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 3 Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

...I will remember Shasta and Dylan Groene, and how they suffered.

I want Joseph Duncan to meet a grisly, painful, agonizing death. I'm sorry Lord, I can't get beyond that.

Iraq Terrorists Target CHILDREN

This STORY just makes me want to...I can't put it to print, it's just too violent and profane.
Where is the fine line that differentiates religion from hate cult? Does anyone know?

17 Year Old Dutch Boy has 'Bomb'

BBC reports: Unclear if boy had ties to group that killed Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh.

The Clinton Dead List

I wonder how many people have This many dead people associated with them.

Sure seems like you want to steer clear of Bubba and MrsSatan, doesn't it?


Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove, Karl Rove - blah blah blah blah! The Commiecrats are fit to be tied! And that's always good. I suspect the whole Karl Rove/Valerie Plame matter to be nothing more than a wonderfully crafted and executed Rope-A-Dope plan to make the LPOS look like the usual bunch of idiots that they are. MrsSatan calls for Rove to Resign. Phhhhhhfffffft!
Hypocrisy, thy name is: MrsSatan and Mister "I Have A Plan"!

By the way Senator "I Have A Plan" - when will the public see your military records? You told Tim Russert you'd release them. LIAR! FRAUD! Turd Sandwich!

Advice to Republicans: Please adopt the Clinton "SO WHAT" strategy to all of these silly allegations from the Looney Left.

Karl Rove? SO WHAT!

Downing Street Memo? SO WHAT!

See how it works? Pretty simple, yes?

Kathleen Willey? SO WHAT!

Juanita Broderick? SO WHAT!

Whitewater Billing Records? SO WHAT!

SO WHAT! Yeah, use it Karl, use it!
© 2005

Armstrong Still Leads "de France"

Armstrong Leading by 38 seconds!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Mohammed Bouyeri: "Will Kill Again If Set Free."

How do you deal with this type of mentality, of anyone, regardless of religious belief? Well, certainly it makes sense to heed his words and keep him in prison for the rest of his life.
The above mentality is the main root of terrorism, this is the potential cancer we face with terrorism here in the U.S., Spain, London, name the place - it applies everywhere. How do you appease someone who will kill and kill again, who is willing to commit suicide with the intent of killing and injuring others, who is not willing to allow for the existence of discourse from their religion?

What did the man, filmmaker
Theo Van Gogh, do to incur such hatred and a grisly death? What offense did Mr. Van Gogh make? What 'sin' did he commit?

Remove from this situation all things religious and ask, how should society deal with an individual like this? It's not a hard answer. At the very, very least, an individual like Bouyeri should never - NEVER - be allowed back into the population-at-large again, ever.
© 2005

A judge Unaware - Continued

I telephoned the Becker County Courthouse this morning at (218) 846-7305, and spoke with a nice lady. I asked what is the e-mail for the Becker County Courthouse or Clerk of Court, and was told they don't have an e-mail address. C'mon, who doesn't have an e-mail these days? Anyway, I was asked why I was calling and I told her it was regarding voicing my displeasure with judge Thomas Schroeder's ruling in setting bail for Joseph Duncan. She said "all inquiries should be directed to" the following person: JOHN KOSTOURES at (651) 296-6043. I called that number, and got his voicemail. But his voicemail did refer other telephone numbers. Another number to reach Mr. Kostoures is (612) 719-4998.

There are two other individuals taking calls on this matter: Lessa at (651) 297-5532, and another individual at (651) 297-4029.

Here is the address for the Becker County Courthouse:
Becker County Courthouse

915 Lake Avenue
Detroit Lakes, MN 56501

If you can take a moment to phone any of the numbers above, and, either by leaving a message on their voicemail, or if you end up actually speaking with someone, it won't take more than a couple of minutes for you to let them know that there is a large percentage of 'the public' that thinks the judge should step down from the bench due to his failure to keep Joseph Duncan in custody by setting a much higher bail; one that Duncan could not have been able to post. Thank you.

Stanley Cup: His Story of Near Obscurity

While NHL talks continue at a snails pace, perhaps only remembered by his most ardent fans, is Stanley Cup. The National Hockey League is still unable to resolve its disputes. The likelihood of either another hockey-less season, or a shortened one, seems all too possible. Not only is the lockout affecting and irritating players and fans, it also has had a devastating impact on the NHL's most recognized icon, Mr. Cup.

Stanley Cup, today

Mr. Cup, or Stan as he prefers to be called, was found homeless, living in an alley by a dumpster, with only a piece of cardboard as a blanket. Penniless and his home foreclosed on months ago, he has nowhere to turn.

"I've been living like this since late last winter," he said. Abandoned by the NHL, Stan seems to take it in stride, but underneath the facade the stress appears to be taking its toll. "It's not about the attention or the notoriety, it's about playing hockey," he says, "It's all about the hockey, I miss it and I need a home."

NHL officials refused to comment on the predicament of Mr. Cup, stating only that NHL talks will continue. To that, Stan adds, "This lockout is really getting ridiculous. If this goes on any longer, I tell you, NHL management can kiss my shiny silver ass."

Many NHL fans feel the same way.
© 2005

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