Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Ten Tips For President Bush On How To Improve His Popularity In Polls
9) When making out with the intern, make sure she is wearing a blue dress and fire a shot of spooge onto said dress.
8) Declare yourself the United States' first Hispanic President.
7) Have Congress author a bill for the largest tax hike ever. Sign the tax hike into law. Later give speech saying, "You think I raised taxes too much? It might surprise you to know that I think I raised them too much too."
6) Rent out the Lincoln Bedroom to illegal aliens. Tell the press you are showing goodwill to our neighbor to the South.
5) Deny intern affair mentioned in numbers 9 and 10.
4) Put Laura in charge of a National Healthcare Plan.
3) Bomb Kosovo again, for the headlines.
2) Put out for debate what the meaning of "strategery" is.
1) Admit affair with intern but deny actually having sexual relations. Wait for spooge stained blue dress to surface.
Bush: "I see the joker behind me."
Bubba: "Hey George, I can advise you on how to deal with the intern accusation."
Bush: "Go Away!"
Bubba: "Vote for 'Hill in '08 and you get two for the price of one!"
Bush: "Security, remove this unregistered sex offender from here!"
Bubba: "Ah, C'mon, please let me hang around here."
Bubba: "Spoil sport!"
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