Monday, July 16, 2007
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way
To A Terrorist Car Bombing...
Gary Doesn't Get It:
The Minneapolis Red Star Tribune has been bought and sold twice over the last - don't quote me here - "couple" of years. During both sales, newspaper staffers were downsized, a nice way to say their jobs were eliminated. Unfortunately their Sunday, local Op/Ed contributor of Liberal propaganda is Gary Keillor and his job hasn't yet been eliminated. (Sad Face!) You may know him by his stage name "Garrison" Keillor, but it's really Gary and he's only Too Happy To Carry The Dogma of the uber-Liberal Hard Left with his syndicated column, that of which the Red Star is happy to publish.
Normally, I try to refrain from writing about or bringing attention to anything written by Gary Keillor. And it pains me to bring any attention to him, since he has plenty of avenues for his endless self-promotion and "free" publicity from the Corporation For Public Broadcasting from which Gary is only too happy receive Taxpayer funding for his "Prairie Home Crapanion".
I do my best to avoid reading Gary's column. I'll glance at it, but on an infrequent basis - almost by accident - Gary does produce keystrokes of something so stupefyingly stupid, it begs to be duly noted.
The Sunday, July 15, Minneapolis Star Tribune ran his syndicated piece noting the more humorous aspects of terrorism, titled "BEWARE OF SUSPICIOUS MEDICINE MEN". Oh yeah, you didn't know terrorism had its funny, knee-slapping, gut-busting side to it? Why sure it does.
Gary enlightens us:
It may seem craven to say so, but a person really had to wonder at the inability of trained medical personnel to hook wire A to battery B to alarm clock C and detonate a car loaded with gasoline and nails in London. An then having to resort to the rather amateurish alternative of crashing a Jeep Cherokee into the Glasgow airport terminal - the suicide bomb alumni association must be shaking their heads.
Well, Gary has barely scratched the surface of the "Bwa ha ha"-funny side of terrorism:
[The] fiasco in London is bound to bring new directives from the Department of Homeland Security forbidding doctors and nurses from operation motor vehicles. It only makes sense. Where there is smoke, there is fire. The war on terror must be pursued where it leads, and right now it points toward people with stethoscopes.
[...]
And so starting Sept. 1, everybody - no exceptions - in the health-service field will be banned from driving anything with an ignition system. Thank you for your cooperation. You will be allowed to ride a bicycle or use public transportation, but you may not get behind the wheel or even sit in the front seat, lest you have a fit and overpower your driver and steer the vehicle into a terminal. Also you must register the purchase of nails with your local law-enforcement agency.
[...]
How can we be certain that our own internist or pediatrician does not have explosives strapped to his body? Medical personnel will be sniffed by trained dogs.
You're not spitting coffee all over your keyboard from bursts of out-loud laughter at Gary's words? Well then, something is wrong with your sense of humor. What's wrong - can't you appreciate or grasp his display of deft insouciance from the untapped keg of terrorism-related humor? See, terrorism is funny for Liberals like Gary when their party isn't the Current Occupant of the White House. Gary is one of many who never flipped their desk calendar past September 10, 2001.
Oh, maybe Gary is illustrating absurdity by be absurd? (Short pause) Uh, no he's not. He could be desperate for attention and this coming week I'd imagine a few readers will make their voice heard in the Letters to the Editor section, expressing their outrage at Gary's column. That's what he wants - outrage - but there's really nothing to be outraged about. We've always known that the Left doesn't appreciate the work performed in any free and civilized country by the people who staff the anti-terrorism forces, law-enforcement individuals, the Military (any Military) and those that daily put their lives on the line for the safety of others. Gary doesn't care about them, he never did...he did just get around to telling us that with his column, though.
He's not being outrageous, nor is he pushing the envelope or redefining a cutting edge, not this time and not with any other of his columns, now or in the future. His is a sad commentary written by a sad Liberal. The only slight surprise is that he didn't publish a column like this months or years ago. He must have been waiting for that perfect terrorist moment to occur and he found that in London and Glasgow. Funny, funny stuff, right?
But Charles Gets It:
The column appearing below Gary's column in the Sunday Red Star was none other than the brilliant Charles Krauthammer writing about an Iraq strategy that finally is working. Krauthammer cites a New York times story by John Burns that Anbar Province, declared a "loss" to al-Qaida a year ago, is a place where tribal sheiks have joined our (the U.S.) side and the side of the Iraqi forces and have successfully driven out al-Qaida turning "Ramadi into one of the most secure cities in Iraq."
It is understandable that Sens. Lugar, Voinovich, Domenici, Snowe and Warner may no longer want trust President Bush's judgment when he tells them to wait until [General David] Petraeus' reports in September. What is not understandable is the vote of no confidence they are passing on Petraeus. These are the same senators who sent him back to Iraq by and 81-0 vote to institute his new counterinsurgency strategy.
[...]
Just last week, Patraeus said that the one thing he needs more than anything else is time. To cut off Petraeus' plan just as it is beginning - the last surge troops arrived only last month - on the assumption that we cannot succeed is to declare Petraeus either deluded or dishonorable. Deluded in that [Patraeus falsely believes we can win]. Or dishonorable in pretending to believe in victory and sending soldiers to die in what he really knows is an already failed strategy.
Time:
Time? The time it takes to do something is usually irrelevant and completely disregarded by the Liberals. They're always willing to give their ideology "more time to work". More time before welfare reform was enacted. More time for mass transit, for the war on poverty, the war on drugs. More time? Heck, you've got it, is the usual Liberal outlook. Except when it comes to the war in Iraq and any plans by the Bush Administration to combat and counter terrorists and terrorism.
The U.S., the UK, Australia and other allies - all countries that have experienced acts of terrorism related to or caused by al-Qaida and its companion terrorist organizations - have been told and threatened by the likes of Ayman Al-Zawahiri and Shiite leader Muqtadaal-Sadar, in no uncertain terms, that they intend to harm us. They intend to commit acts of terrorism in our respective countries. Why wouldn't anyone take these threats seriously, other than for purely political ideology?
Then again, there's the full range of innate humor that terrorism provides, the faux-nuances of which are only found and written about by detached, isolated and politically bitter rich white men like Gary Keillor.
Terrorists successfully exploded a car bomb in Baghdad on Sunday killing at least 10 people...Why, I can't wait to read the comedic gems inspired from this terrorist act come next week's Keillor's column.
©2007
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Labels: gary keillor
Thanks for pointing out his idiocy. Gary should stick to Guy Noire.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Don.
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