Sunday, April 24, 2005
A Fatwah, Foie Gras Faux Pas
Ayatollah Khomeini ----Salman Rushdie-- --Foie Gras
In 1988, Iranian Ayatollah Khomeini issued, what at the time was believed, to be a Fatwah against Salman Rushdie, author of The Satanic Verses. Recently discovered documents, however, reveal a startling fact. According to Jim McJim, of the Institute For The Arcane Unknown, after exhaustive study of the Farsi language, McJim has concluded that what the Ayatollah was actually ordering in his decree was for .."Mr. Rushdie to be pelted with Foie Gras."
According to Mr. McJim, it was a misunderstanding of the translation of both the written and spoken words of the Ayatollah. "The Farsi language is quite complex, and it was simply a matter of critical misinterpretation of what the Ayatollah said. It's rather comical now, that Mr. Rushdie was in hiding for years over what was a language faux pas over foie gras, and not a Fatwah," added McJim, snickering at his own joke.
Other peer groups have reviewed McJims' work and believe it to be one hundred percent authentic. "The eating of Foie Gras was frowned upon by the Ayatollah, and he wanted Mr. Rushdie to know it," concluded Dr. Leather Hockleer, Director of the Clinic of Minutiae. "We have no reason to believe there ever was a Fatwah against Mr. Rushdie."
In related news, the President of France, Jacque Chirac, retracted his previous statement calling for France to issue a "Foie Gras against Al-Qaeda."
Chirac: " France has no Foie Gras against Al-Qaeda."
(Disclaimer: All of the above is true, except for those parts which are not).
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