Friday, May 29, 2009
Minnesota's Vacant Senate Seat
Ranks Highly Favorable In Polls
Minnesota's empty U.S. Senate Seat receives the highest approval ratings of any politician of all time according to two recently released polls. Both the Razzmussen and Zobgy polls rank the empty Senate Seat at 99.9% approval.
The seat remains empty due to the legal battle between Republican Norm Coleman who was seeking re-election and his Democrat challenger Al Franken.
The survey consisted of a random sampling of 250,191 Minnesota citizens and Al Franken, Franken represented the .1 percent dissenting majority of the poll. "That empty senate seat should be mine, goddamnit," screamed Franken at a pollster.
"I've never seen such a huge approval number for any politician," said Jim McJim, Senior Executive with the Zobgy organization, one of the nation's most reliable polls. "It's astonishing that an empty seat has such favorable reactions," said McJim.
Razzmussen reported almost identical findings according to spokesperson Leather Hocklear. "The empty senate seat can do no wrong in the eyes of the constituents," said Hocklear.
Poll respondents seem to agree. "I think the empty senate seat is doing a great job, really representing the average wage-earner," said Stan Kobb, an assistant manager at Chubbies, a commercial tire distributor.
University of Minnesota College student Glys LaFebre agrees. "I can't name one position or decision the empty seat has made that I disagree with."
"The empty senate seat gives me hope and change," said retired mill worker Filnrow Spatcus.
The halcyon days of the empty senate seat may come to an abrupt end. Although Coleman's options still include various legal avenues of appeal, whether he follows through on them or not is unknown.
What is known is that the empty senate seat enjoys overwhelming popularity unlike any candidate or politician the world has ever seen.
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