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Monday, July 21, 2008

Ask Mammy™ Premiere

Welcome to the premiere of Ask Mammy, which will be a regularly appearing column from time to time whereby anyone - even you! - can ask questions of Mammy, aka Michelle Pickles Obama The Dangerous Washerwoman and she will do her best to answer!

It's just like Dear Abby, only different!

So, with no further pomp and circumstances, again, Welcome To Ask Mammy!


Go ahead, Ask Mammy...you know you want to!

    Dear Mammy,

    I would like to know what the proper procedure is to get rid of unwanted guests. There exists a couple of people that I really, really want to go away but since morons tend to like them a bunch, I never get my wish.

    Also, how is it possible that we can actually still hear them even with their heads driven completely up their asses?

    That kind of science amazes me. - Signed Two Dogs

    Dear Two Dogs,

    Unwanted and uninvited guests pose a problem, unless you be talkin' bout The Messiah and me, and if you is, why, I's be mortified and shockified as to why you be thinkin' that way 'bout us. We be as American as arugula, sushi and The Hindenburg.

    Ass-talkin'? Oh chil, that been around for many years. We bein' Liberals are masters of it and I am sworn to secrecy not to reveal how's we do's it.

    Science is imperfect, but it works for us Liberals when we skew it to our advantage.

    *

    Dear Mammy,
    I've done got a really bad itch on my satchel. What do it be? - Signed Modesto

    Dear Modesto,

    Yous gots the bad Republican itch goin' on down in da happy place. The cure be Hope and Change, higher taxes and lowerin' your standard of living. Nothin's say 'happy satchel' likes paying more taxes and a lower standard of living and that's jus what Barack he gonna do!

    *

    Dear Mammy,

    Is there any chance Hillary Clinton will be Barack's Vice President running mate? I was hoping she would be the presidential nominee so that she'd be out of the house for longer periods of time. - Signed Bill in Chappaqua

    Dear Bill in Chappaqua,

    No way, no how, not in fitty-seven lifetimes is dat beeach on the ticket as VP. Hell no! Hell no! Know what I'm sayin'?

    *

    Dear Mammy,

    Why you be so uppity, beeatch? - Signed Whitey

    Dear Whitey,

    Oh! No! You Di-nn't! You Di-nn't jus call me uppity, did you? Oh, that's bad! Whitey, you da man who I am railing 'bout on that that Trinity United Church of Christ video tape that hasn't yet been released! You be worse than Jesse Jackson sayin' Barack 'talking down to the niggers.' Mammy gonna find you Whitey and Whup Your White, Pasty, Sagging Ass Good! Now be a good boy and make it easy for Mammy, tells me where you live so I can unleash Mammy's Minions on you!

Due to the overwhelming amount of questions, Ask Mammy
regrets that she cannot personally answer each individual one. Mammy will attempt to publish those that she feels represent the most commonly asked questions and represent widely held views and appeal.

You too can Ask Mammy
a question by submitting a comment.

Thank you for joining us for the first edition of many Ask Mammy
columns. See you next time!

©2008

Labels: ,


Comments:
I am not really sure, because I am unsure how the mind of a moron works, but I am going to assume that Barry would think of this skates dangerously close to the edge of "attacking his wife."

You know, 'cause he's a fancy-boy.

However 100% of real men that I polled say, "Screw it, no blood, no foul."
 
TD, yeah. Check out Larry Sinclairs blog( http://larrysinclair0926.com/).

He's the guy who said Barry bought him coke and crack coke for himself (Barry) and that he gave Barry a BJ.

Sinclair also alleges that Barry had a sexual relationship with Donald Young, Choir director of the Church. Young was murdered. http://larrysinclair0926.com/?p=526

Does this remind anyone of the rumors and death list of the Clintons; that everyone on the Left denied and said wasn't true, and in time we found out all about the horrible truth of the Clintons. And as far as we know, Bubba has no history of being gay, but Hillary sure does!
 
Dear Mamy: Whens can I gitz my respiration check?

Sind, Ankshus!
 
Mammy will consider answering your question when her next column appears.
 
You guys are so messed up. It's sad to think that I live in a country with people like you dumbasses. Leave the country if you're going to be racist pieces of shit like you are being.
 
cASS,

Go fuck yourself. It's patriotic to criticize the president and his family. That's what the Left told us during the Bush years.

Why don't you get your fat cunt out of the country? Better yet, DIAF. Look it up at urbandictionary.com
 
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