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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Right Wing Art Gallery Continues!

mrssatan is proud, (very proud!), and giddily excited, to bring to you the Right Wing Art Festival.

As with other great artists of our time, Andres Serrano, Chris Ofili, and Robert Mapplethorpe, we at mrssatan will be presenting, over the next several weeks, works of new and provocative art.

This week, we go back to part of the Italian Renaissance, between the 12th through the 15th century for inspiration from the great artists Giovanni Bellini and Duccio di Buoninsegna.

We invite you to browse the gallery and view these unique and fascinating classic works.

Our second Object D' Art is below and is titled...
Concept by, and Hat Tip to, S.T. Miller
© 2005

Object D' Art Number Two: Fat-Tonne With Snack

© 2005

Monday, May 30, 2005

Pepe Le Pew says "Non!"

Surprise Surprise, France rejects 'ze EU.

I find the following paragraph from the above story amusing:
Excuse me, but (AAAHEM!), isn't that the same as saying "protecting language, border, and culture"? Just exactly what the Liberals criticize Conservatives for? Where is the outcry from the Left on France rejecting integration? How "UnAmerican" of France. For shame, for shame!

Pepe says "Ah am ashamed to be 'ze Fran-cey!"

Fellow 'toon, Ren Hoek, shocked by the French, was unable to even utter "I will keeeeeeel you!"
© 2005

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Memorial Day - You are Heroes

In Honor of those who served their county, those with us, and those who have left us for a better place, God Bless You.

I salute you, I am in awe of you, you have my love, respect, admiration, and gratitude.

You are remembered not only today, but every day. For without you, we would not have Freedom.

I thank you, and your loved ones, from the bottom of my heart.

(All images found via Google image search. If I have infringed on a copyrighted item, I apologize; but would appreciate your permission to use them. Thank you - David Drake, daviddrake2005@yahoo.com).


Bill Moyers: Still 'Nipping at the Whine

Wine or whine, it's all the same to Moyers. He's full of both.

Excerpts from his "Whine" speech:
Ah, Bill, life was perfect until the PBS gig went away. Yes, the press was so objective and eager to report the truth and investigate allegations during those halcyon years of 1992-2000. If you didn't know Moyers was a Liberal Liberace, you could almost..almost think he was referring to the Left in the above paragraph. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean - "the long arm of privilege and power picking their pockets." Last I checked, Meeeester Whiner, it was and always has been the Left with their hands in my pocket, my business, my personal life, and trying to push their "values" (oh, how I use that word loosely in this case) onto others.
Is this the same lack of interest rationale that failed to report truthfully on Bubba's Kosovo War? The same lack of interest rationale that fails, to this day, to state the total appeasement of North Korea under the Bubba Administration? The same lack of interest rationale that virtually assures any political program on PBS is so slanted to the Left that it has no credibility?
I wondered how long it would take for you to bring up Mr. Nixon and use him in a negative manner. Actually I'm surprised Billy, that it wasn't earlier in your long-winded, slanted, myopic speech. Pity anybody in the audience with hemorrhoids who had to sit through your pompous, wind-bag, subjective rambling.
No, you're not big kids Bill. You're a typical Lib. You cannot stand to hear a view or opinion that is different from yours, let alone facts contradicting your beliefs and the beliefs of the Left.

Bill, I liked you better as a "Winer" and not a "Whiner." Will that be white, red, burgundy, or perhaps a nice merlot?
© 2005

Saturday, May 28, 2005

An interesting take...

...on the maladies of the former president.

On PBS...

...by William F. Buckley, Jr.
(If you're not reading Mr. Buckley on a regular basis, you should be).

Navy Lieutenant Andrew Ledford=Vindicated


Abu Musab al-Zarqawi: Arafat Redux?

He's wounded, he's near death, he's better, he's on his deathbed, his health is fine, he IS wounded, no he ISN'T, his fate is uncertain, he's dead, he's not dead, he's on the move, he's not on the move.

Is Joe Lockhart al-Zarqawi's PR guy? Or perhaps James 'Bat Boy' Carville, the retarded Cajun?
© 2005


Drilling in the controversial Alaskan Wildlife refuge, RAWNA, filled to the brim with oil, is set to begin August 1, 2005. RAWNA has a large reservoir of oil and the ability to supply the United States with barrels of oil for many, many years.

Wildlife experts of this region have concluded, after exhaustive study, that it's not only the right thing to do for the oil, but the area wildlife is asking for it as well.

John P. Caribou, who has lived in RAWNA all of his life said, "The only way we can think of to get rid of the pesky and prolific mosquito's is to drill for oil, and hopefully, a lot of it will spill onto the land and into the coastal waters."

Other caribou agree with John. His cousin, Martha Q. Caribou spoke of the hardships she has to endure with the pristine environment. "You try raising a herd who always want to go out and play, but then insist on coming back in due to the enormous mosquito population. It's in and out, and in and out, all day long. I can't keep my home clean that way."

Quentin "Endangered Species" Owl agrees. "I look down my tree and say to myself, good gosh, this environment sucks. Who wants to look at this spotless, undeveloped hell hole all night and day. We need a good oil spill to not only improve the appearance, but also we recognize that our country needs the oil. It's a 'win-win' situation all the way around."

Indeed, researchers were virtually unable to find any species that were happy with RAWNA in its current status. The only exception were the mosquito's. One mosquito, speaking only on the condition of anonymity, and speaking for all fellow mosquito's said, "We don't know what we'll do or how we'll survive when the oil starts to flow. Most of us are planning to migrate to Canada well before August 1."

The Burtihallon Corporation was awarded the drilling contract and has already begun making in roads into RAWNA. Shouts of "Viva Le Petrol" were raucously heard from the local wildlife inhabitants upon hearing this news.
© 2005

Friday, May 27, 2005

RIP Mr. Douglas

Eddie Albert dies.

Green Acres was one of the best sit-coms ever.

His full filmography here. Especially, his performance as the Warden in "The Longest Yard", the 1974 original version. God Bless 'ya Eddie.


Via Noahware (THANKS NOAH!) I found this Top 10 List by The Llama Butchers.

FANTASTIC GUYS, JUST FANTASTIC. (I have to admit I'm partial to Item # 3, being a Monty Python fanatic.)

"Sith" Inconsistency

Desert Cat makes a very astute observation on a blatant inconsistency in the "Sith".

Doctor Spock would call the "Sith" continuity error "Highly illogical."

In The News

No credible evidence of Koran Abuse.


Staff Sergeant Shane Werst VINDICATED.

British end boycott of Israeli Universities.

Lib's Stall Bolton nomination. Of course, this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. You CANNOT EVER trust Lib's on anything, EVER! You cannot trust them to keep their word, you cannot trust them to agree to what they say they'll agree on, you cannot trust them to abide by a level playing field.

MrsSatan aide not guilty in fundraising. Is anybody surprised over this - I'm not. We all know by now that Bubba and MrsSatan are above reproach. He never inhaled, never had sexual relations with M. Lewinsky, never snorted cola, never accepted questionable donations, and never made sexual advances toward any woman who said 'no'. We DO KNOW Bubba never claimed to invent the internet. We should all live our lives using the same template that they follow. MrsSatan, of course was named after Sir Edmund Hillary (HA!), is a native New Yorker, had no plans to run for Senate in 2000, and is still 'undecided' if she will run for the White House in 2008. And if you believe this diatribe, I have for sale lovely, ocean front property in the coastal state of Oklahoma.
© 2005

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Fundraising for MrsSatan

I'll have to triple check Snopes, the Urban Legend Debunker, but this story must be a hoax. I mean, NO ONE ever connected to Bubba or MrsSatan are ever guilty, ethically challenged, or convicted of ANYTHING, are they? Of course not! Why, anyone connected with them walks around with a halo over their head, right?

Imagine this SHRILL in the White House? When you see that picture of her, do you not immediately recall the high strung strings from the music in the film "Psycho"?
© 2005

Lightning Hits, Kills man on Motorcycle

I wonder what the odds are of this:
Original source here.


I got nothin' today...well, maybe later.

Wizbang! notes that
Phil Spector may be getting his hair done by the Don King Salon.

Dementia In L.A.

Ann Coulter shoots Bill Moyers?

Helen Thomas is still alive? She must be zombie-ified by now.

Bubba misses out on a meal? That's so unlike him. Monica Lewinsky had to be within "no sexual relations" distance of him. Had to be.

Stop by and visit Freddie. He's awesome!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bleaching Down Under

Nothing will surprise me anymore. I don't know what's left to alter. I'll put it mildly, um, "butt bleaching" and I'll leave it at that.

Aaaaaaaaaaron Brown

Rake Magazine interviews Aaron Brown.

A few excerpts:
First it's "we vomit out information" then it's "the Net". A Freudian slip there, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaron?

I guess Aaron must be thinking of the bygone era, pre Dan Rathergate, Jayson Blair, Newsweek, that great fictional paper the NY Times and others, where fact checking was actually done, verified, and re-verified.

Aaron, the gatekeeper for the bloggers will be other bloggers. By the way Libby's - did you notice Aaron mentioned God! (gasp!) Aren't you offended? Where will you go, Fox News?

: HUGE PHOTO of Aaron Brown, sit back -- far, far back -- in your chair before you click the link.

Former Secretary Goes Fishing

I didn't even know that "Madame" Albright liked fishing. It's the prettiest picture I've ever seen of the former Secretary of State. She'll make a good wife for a carp some day.

Mamma's, Don't Let Your Children Grow Up to be Liberals

A song for kids, (With no apologies to that nerve-wracking "Oscar Meyer" ditty):

"Oh, don't let me grow up to be a Liberal,
That's something I never want to be,
'Cuz if I grow up and be a Liberal

I'd be full of nothing but Hypocrisy."

Catchy, isn't it?
© 2005

Liberals I Like: Part Two

© 2005

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Global Mildness

Geneva, Switzerland - Alarming new evidence that both global warming and global cooling is pure fallacy was published today in the New England Journal of Science. It states that the earth is in a state of harmonious homeostasis. Scientist and Climatologist Jim McJim, of the Arcane Planetary Climatology Department in Geneva, released his findings late yesterday.

"Irrefutable evidence now shows that the earth is in a perfectly balanced state, with regard to warmth and cooling," said McJim. Previous studies had shown that a large and knowledgeable group of scientists were under the belief that the earth was on a warming trend. Some twenty years ago, the belief among those same scientists was that the earth would be heading into an ice age after the year 2000.

"Previous studies that the earth is warming are pure crockery," stated McJim. "My studies and evidence point to the fact that the earth is very, very happy with its current temperature. I took a large, sufficiently lubricated mercury thermometer, and shoved it deep -- deep into the inner hole of our planet. The results were astounding," continued McJim. McJim's well researched study does appear to be irrefutable.

"I guess it goes to show you that we were overlooking a critical piece of the puzzle. And that would be the large, well lubricated, mercury thermometer," said Professor Guy Gadwah, of the Kyoto Climatology Institute in Japan. "Honestly, that's one research tool that didn't occur to me, or other scientists who were under the mistaken belief that the earth was warming," concluded Gadwah.

Dr. Leather Hockleer, of the Interplanetary Clinic for Climatology concurs with McJim. "I'm not sure anyone else involved in this type of research would have gone to the lengths that McJim did," she said. "I'm inclined to believe his study is solid, and that it's authentic," Hocklear added.

Human reaction to this study would appear to support McJim's findings. "People are rarely perspiring," says McJim, "and on the reverse side, no one is chilly." Several people were interviewed around the globe and all respondents noted that they are using their air conditioning on a far less frequent basis. The onslaught sales of lawn chairs also bear witness to the new findings.

McJim, seated comfortably outside, on a cushioned chaise lounge, sipping a tall drink with an umbrella in it, gloatingly added, "this planet is becoming far more temperate and enjoyable than we could ever imagine. We're not freezing, and we're not burning up. It's sort of like Goldilocks and the porridge. The temperature of the earth is just right."

McJim, taking a sip from his drink said, "I'm now going to take a nice, long nap in the outdoors."

Concept by, and Hat Tip to, S.T. Miller
© 2005
[All of the above is true, except for those parts which are not.]

The Right Wing Art Festival

mrssatan is proud, (very proud!), and giddily excited, to bring to you the Right Wing Art Festival.

As with other great artists of our time, Andres Serrano, Chris Ofili, and Robert Mapplethorpe, we at mrssatan will be presenting, over the next several weeks, works of new and provocative art.

During the next several weeks, (depending on availability of the piece of art itself), mrssatan will be showcasing only the very best Avant-Garde artwork.

We invite you to browse the gallery and view these unique and fascinating classic works.

Our first Object D' Art is below and is titled...
Concept by, and Hat Tip to, S.T. Miller
© 2005

Object D' Art Number One: Dung Dean

© 2005

Monday, May 23, 2005

The N(o) H(ockey) L(eague) ?

C'mooooon guys...can't you get your *shtuff* together??!? I'm going to go insane if another season disappears or is a shortened one. And I want more than a hint of resolution.

Dagney's Rant and Power Line blogs have been added. Dagney just kills me, he's great.

: M. Gonzalez phoned, the surgery is over, he's woozy. Hey, take a pain pill and have some Captain Morgan's - you'll feel much better.
© 2005

Sunday, May 22, 2005

A Lesser Known Gladiator


Concept by and Hat Tip to S.T. Miller
© 2005


If we are to base the success or failure of a war or conflict solely on the number of casualties, I guess we'd all be speaking German.

Everyone has been touched or affected by the deaths of our service men and women. If I do not personally know somebody that has been killed or injured by the war in Iraq, then I know of someone who knows someone who has. My thoughts, prayers and heart goes out to all those affected.

But which type of humiliation would you prefer for yourself, or your loved one, who is fighting in this war? Panties on their head? Naked and forced to circle j*rk? Naked except for a dog collar and leash? Photo's of them in their BVD's?

Or would you rather the whole world be able to view the beheading of your loved one?

As each beheading was released over the past 18 months, I've actively sought out where I could view them. Words cannot describe the emotions one gets from viewing them. Repulsive and horrifying don't even come close.

Haven't seen them? Radio Host Michael Savage has put links to all of them on his website.

Go there, view them. Tell me which is more disgusting and upsetting; panties on the head of a suspected terrorist, Saddam in his undies, or watching your own flesh and blood being beheaded.
© 2005

Prediction of a Prediction

It has not yet been updated on the McLaughlin Group site as I post this, but this week, Bill Press, during the Prediction Round, predicted that "within six months, the Newsweek-Koran story will be proven to be true."

That will put us right around Thanksgiving.

Bill, the countdown begins now.
© 2005


As with the phrases "vast right wing conspiracy" and Bubba's famous press conference ender "And now I have to get back to what the American people elected me to do," - the latest, oft-repeated buzzword we can look forward to hearing from the Left is Theocracy.

Theocracy...Theocracy...methinks "Theearecrazy"!
© 2005

Separated at Birth: Limbaugh and Perry?

Golf Great: Kenny Perry

Radio Great: Rush Limbaugh

Is it just me, or do these two men share a remarkable similarity in visage?

For M. Gonzalez

A valued friend and my personal automobile guru (I swear, the guy can "heal" car problems by touch, like a faith healer) goes in for some "routine surgery" on Monday. My thoughts and prayers are with you, man. I'm sure all will go fine.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Newsweek and David Brooks

What kind of finite hair splitting is this?
Well, we learned this from the Left. If the Columbine shootings can be blamed on gun makers and gun retailers, and if tobacco companies are responsible for first or second hand smoke-related illness, and if car makers are held responsible for design flaws, of course it wouldn't be much of a stretch to make the same linear analogy that Newsweek is indeed, responsible for the results of their erroneous story.
Okay - let's say liberalism had nothing to do with. Does that mean it didn't happen? O.J. Simpson was found not guilty in criminal court. I guess that must MEAN no one was killed. Therefore, Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman must still be alive, right?
Is that the same delusional mental landscape, filled with conspiracy theories and paranoia that convinced liberals of a "vast, right wing conspiracy"? Wow, if this isn't the proverbial liberal pot calling the kettle black.

I think I can find more facts in a story run by The Onion than I can the NY Times. What rubbish!
© 2005

"Click It or Ticket" - A Revenue Raiser Only

I don't wear my seat or "safety" belt, nor will the new campaign to "Buckle Up" have any impact on me doing so. If I want to fly through my windshield and be sliced and diced up, by God, I have that right!

"In fact, auto accidents and falls kill 25 times more people in the U.S. each year than airplane crashes and firearms accidents. Indeed, accidental drowning alone kills far more people than airplane crashes and firearms accidents combined".

...over 43,000 per year die in automobile accidents....

The argument to Buckle Up to "save lives" rings hollow. Look, let's not kid ourselves on what the intent of this is.
It's a revenue generator only.

If the government was serious about decreasing auto accidents, most of which are caused by speeding, non emergency vehicles (your car and mine) would be limited to no more than a 40 mile per hour speed limit.

Another intrusion into my personal life.

I wonder if motorcyclist's will be ticketed for not wearing a safety belt? I've never seen anyone on a cycle Buckled Up. Huh...I wonder how they'll enforce that?! "Click my a**!"
© 2005

Labels: ,

Screamin' Dean on Meet The Press

Howlin' Howard Dean on Meet The Press tomorrow, Sunday, May 22, 2005.

Let's hope host Tim Russert puts the "full court press" on Howlin' Howie.

Howlin' Howard Dean: "Grrrrrrrrr! Aaaaa-rooooooh! Yeeeeeee--ahhhhhhhh!"
(Could you say that in the King's English, Howard?)

New Golf Clubs...

...Presenting the Gallowaaay Golf Clubs! Big, giant, fat heads - guaranteed to give you a 400 yard drive! (They scream in their native Scottish if hit just right).

© 2005

Fee Fiction

A user fee is not a tax unless or until those paying the user fee want non-users to contribute to their special interest.

A user fee is not a tax unless or until those paying the user fee want non-users to contribute to their special interest.

Damn, I'm tired of people saying these two things are the same. They simply are not!
© 2005

Failing (my own self imposed) Deadline

He beat me to publishing a very similar post, but now I don't have to edit and re-edit my version. Besides, his is far more articulate than is mine.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Senate Chambers

S.T. Miller, on a musical parody roll, contributes the following:

With apologies to the theme song of "Green Acres")

Bubba & Mrs Satan, back in their "farm days"

Mrs Satan (aka Hillary)
"Senate Chambers is the place for me,
New York voted for and got Hillary,
I'm on top and it's a hell of a ride,
Screw Arkansas and gimme Manhattan's East Side!"

"D.C. is where I'd rather stay,
I get lots of action while Hill's away,
Interns falling down on their knees,
And big buck contributions from the Chinese."

Mrs Satan: "No Gores!"
Bubba: "The Whores!"
Mrs Satan: "Health Care!"
Bubba: "Nice pair!"
Mrs Satan: "I AM YOUR WIFE!"
Bubba: "Good bye D.C. life."
Mrs Satan & Bubba Together: "New Yorker's we are THERE!"

Copyright S.T. Miller & Pendejo Productions 2005
© 2005

My "Guy's"

I don't know about you, but I like 'My Guy's'. I've grown quite fond of them over the years.

Whether it's in the office, at a cyber-coffee shop, or at home, I see too many men with their laptops on their laps. Guys, this can't be good for "the boy's". It's your final decision to make, I'm just putting this out there for you to think about.

Ditto the ladies as well. With Kylie Minogue, who was just diagnosed with breast cancer, as well as earlier this year, Elizabeth (Mrs. John) Edwards, early detection can be the difference between beating cancer, or having little chance of surviving it.

Guys, here's how-to-do the self exam.

Ladies, here's your how-to-do the self exam.

Guys, gals, you are our dad's, mom's, brother's, sister's, son's, daughter's, spouses, nephew and nieces, family and friends. We want you around as long as possible.

If you find something that doesn't seem right, get thee to the doctor.

Early detection=better chance for survival. 'Nuff said.
© 2005

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

WWII Memorial for Massacred Germans Denied

"It's a matter of principle," Siklova said. "People should be treated according to how they acted — not what ethnicity they were."

A 180 on a 180?

Boy, if there ever was a form number given to a document more befitting of John Kerry, it is the Form 180, making his military records public. To date, Mr. Kerry has not signed it.

Even after telling Tim Russert on 'Meet The Press' that he would do so:

Why should we expect the Flip-Flopper to keep his word? We're still waiting, Senator --- can't you find a pen?
© 2005

RIP Riddler

Actor Frank Gorshin dies.

Frank Gorshin as The Riddler; television series "Batman"

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

From The "But I didn't Inhale" Files:

Another politico accused of oil-for-food. Why am I not surprised?

The fiction from the Left (NY Times, Jayson Blair, Dan Rather, etc) continues with the Newsweek lies.

Tom DeLay ranked 121st as a trip taker:

    A study released last week by the Web site PoliticalMoneyLine.com, however, found that the top ten trip-takers in Congress are all Democrats, with DeLay ranking 121st on the list.

© 2005

DMV - Oy! Oy! Oy!

mrssatan associate S.T. Miller returns from the Department of Motor Vehicles with...say...a bit of an attitude, perhaps?


(With apologies to AC/DC's "TNT")

See Me ride up to the office in my blue-two-tone SUV
Out to get my License renewed, at the DMV.
Whining kids to the left of me,
Jokers to the right.
I'm stuck standing in this stupid line
Until the end of time.

I'm at DMV

Chorus: Oy! Oy! Oy!


Chorus: Oy! Oy! Oy!


I'm all uptight!


My papework ain't right...


Is what I'm told...


Watch me EXPLODE!

Chorus: Oy! Oy! Oy!

I'm angry, distressed and perturbed...
I'm a pissed-off man!
The state budget cuts have left this place...
Hideously Under-manned.
I came in here six hours ago...
To get a new I.D.
Wish they'd call my number soon...
'Cause man, I gotta pee!

I'm at DMV...

Chorus: Oy! Oy! Oy!


Chorus: Oy! Oy! Oy!


It's a permanent wait...


In this Friggin' state!


It's a sight to behold...


Watch me grow old!

Copyright S.T. Miller & Pendejo Productions 2005

(Did I mention that not only did Al Gore create the internet, but he was also the original drummer for AC/DC?)
© 2005

Monday, May 16, 2005

Coffee House Locater

Here's an interesting site for those of you who would rather visit an independent or locally owned coffee house or cafe', rather than the franchise, big name coffee shops.

The Terminal Man

Written by Michael "Jurassic Park" Crichton; Terminal Man is a fine film all the way around.

It's on A&E Wednesday, May 18. CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME.

Definitely worth taping or Ti-Vo'ing (is that a proper gerund?)

IMDB reviewers note it starts out at a slow pace, and it does - but it's worth it. A gem of a flic that goes unnoticed.

Agreeing To Disagree

I never fail to be amazed at how lengthy some comments added to this site can ramble on, and on, and on. Why, they write more as a comment here than they do on their own blogs!

Nobody that I know of, forces any of us to read someone else's blog. Nobody is asking you to take what I write here as "the gospel". I've listed some liberal blogs over on the right hand side of the page that I visit every day. I take what they write with a large grain of salt. The same should be done for those visiting mrssatan, or any other blog.

For the most part, I like "hard" news, hence, the many news links on the right side of this page. I am impressed, and having nothing but respect, for those bloggers who, every day, find it in themselves to write a solid, hard-news post every day. That goes for those on the right, left, and those somewhere in between.

It was suggested that, when I write a piece that is sarcastic, that I add a "LOL" or a " ;-) " to those pieces. Well, I don't underestimate the intelligence of the people who visit this site, which is why I don't (and NEVER will) add a "LOL" or a " ;-) " to a piece of sarcasm. If you have to explain the joke, then it ain't funny.

Regarding disinformation - there's craploads of disinformation on the web, as well as blogs. We all pick and choose the battles we're going to fight. There is an equal amount of disinformation on the right, as well as the left, and those in between.

I could simply eliminate the comments section (as so many other blogs do) and eliminate the hassle, but I do enjoy reading what someone else has to say, whether they agree or disagree with something I write.

If I write something with sarcasm or parody, and you don't get the joke, don't blame me.

I don't post "in anger" on other blogs. I don't, and NEVER have, allowed myself to send an angry or hateful e-mail to someone.

If you don't like what you read here, don't come back. Or, go start your own blog. Blogger is free. It's a wonderful medium for exchanging information.

The best, gentlemanly quality I can say to anyone (on a blog or sitting at the bar) is that "we can agree to disagree," without it getting ugly. As well as, "if you can't take the criticism, perhaps you shouldn't be dishing it out." Or, "tit for tat" - oh, but except when it comes back to "you". Ahhhhh, then it's a different story.

By the way - have I mentioned, Al Gore created Blogger?
© 2005

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Zacarias Moussaoui, Clancy Prevost and 9-11-01

A story you CANNOT afford to miss.

Kudos to Rake Magazine , for you are doing the work that the two "big city Minnesota rags" consistently fail to do. Great job!

Calling All "Chucky-ist's"


Chucky Darwin, purporter that "all life on planet Earth descended from a common single-cell, arising by chance, in the 'primordial ooze', 3.5 billion years ago."

Bowling For Stupid White Dude Where's My Fahrenheit Roger and Me?

Well, since the Lard Lad is such a great plagiarist of other people's titles, I thought I'd return the favor in kind.

El Obesoto Maximus Capacitous

He's working on a "documentary" (and one must take that term very loosely, when applied to him) on the health industry.

If his past work is any indication of what this new "docu" will be, I can imagine it will pretty much be as follows:

* Let me guess, he'll interview people who will say they lost their health care at the very same moment of the day President Bush was sworn into office in January 2001.

* He'll edit (visual) clips and sound bites very subjectively, to make any point he wants to make, with blatant disregard for facts or truth, rather than allow the full statement to be made by the person stating it.

* He'll interview people who spend all of their income on prescription medication, while having to eat Bavarian Dachshund puppies for dinner. (Remember the folks raising rabbits for food in "Roger & Me"?)

El Obesoto Maximus Capacitous making a film on the health industry is like Hamas making a film on "Love Thy Neighbor". We all know it's simply false, phony, deceitful, disingenuous, insincere, and hollow.
© 2005

"Jacko" and a Simian Conspiracy?

John has the story.

Friday, May 13, 2005

New X-Box Unveiled

The new X Box has its premiere.

In related news, Al Gore said "I invented the X-Box."

Albert "The Sore Loser-man" Gore
"I invented the internet, the X-Box, Hush Puppy shoes, chicken McNuggets, and wafer-thin mints."
© 2005

Mrs Satan Gets Private Label Credit Card

Why, I dang be almost cryin' - I feel very honored. Where can I get one of these ?

I wonder how much of a credit limit Mrs Satan gets? Awwww - what am I thinking? She's MRS SATAN! The sky is the limit. Or should I say The Tenth Level of Hell is the limit?
© 2005

Is it BIG Enough?

That's the only question I have about the giant sized coffin noted on New Eagle.

I mean, think how many more years El Obesoto Maximus Capacitous has left to consume? Perhaps the Goliath Casket Company should keep their options open for a larger box for

... The Lard Lad.
© 2005

Liberals I Like: Part One

© 2005

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I'm Back

Every day I tell myself "I'm done blogging, it's over, I'm ending it." It takes too much time, effort, and frankly, I'm a "once I've done something a few times I easily tire of it" personality, and generally the enthusiasm wans.

But then...something like the item below comes up, and I can't resist.

(If you decide to reply and hit the jackpot, a 10% finders/locaters fee, tossed my way would be appreciated).

Item below: "An Urgent Plea - NOT from Edward James Olmos"

An Urgent Plea - NOT from Edward James Olmos

I received the below e-mail. I'm sure (reeking sarcasm) that it's totally legitimate.

Hey - Princey - if what you say is true, e-mail me again at the same e-mail address. I will require $100,000 U.S. Dollars CASH, UPFRONT, before I make a move.

Note: the below appears verbatim as I received it, spelling errors, uncapitalized words that should be capitalized, and all; except for my inserted comments.

Date: Thu, 12 May 2005 00:05:22 -0800
Subject: THIS WILL BENEFIT YOU, BUT CAN YOU BE TRUSTED?. (Actually, no, I can't)
From: "Prince Michael" <

Kindly accept my apology for sending this unsolicited mail to you which I hope you will treat as HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL (Sorry Princey - THAT ain't gonna happen!).

I believe you are a highly respected personality (DAMN have I got you fooled!), considering the fact that i sourced your profile from a human resource profile database on your country. (Would that be the FBI's MOST WANTED LIST?)

I am Prince Michael Randolph Mobutu Sese Sekou, Son of the late President Mobutu Sese Sekou of Zaire,new Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). There was war in my country and so my family members escaped to Morocco or God knows where they are right now in africa.

I have for the past {6} years, been moving from boder to boder and country to country. Yesterday i managed to find my way into lagos, a western boarder town of Nigeria where my old friend, now a retired military officer resides. This Country is too big and there are so many Nationalities here, I have simply just ad justed quick as usually. Due to my fathers tarnished image and past crises, It is not safe to put any investment in my country. Seven troubled years has passed and everything has supposedly died down. Now I want to set up Viable Business Ventures (a STARBUCKS perhaps?) in your country. I sincerely have the sum of $29.6 million u.s dollars set aside for this project but I would not want my name or family's name to be used for security reasons. I am prepared to offer you 12% (or a re-negotiated sum) of the total amount received,if you assist me in claiming the funds from the financial and security vault in london, where i deposited two {2} boxes containing the funds in my name before my fathers death. I honestly assure you that this deal is 100% risk-free (...BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE - if you order before midnight.....).

So Please contact me if you are interested and capable of helping by sending your telephone/fax numbers for me to reach you because I cannot receive any international call due to my present condition. I came i nto this country with only $40 and intend to use this money to stay in touch with you all the way. (I am verklempt!) I do not want to use my friends phone to receive any calls so that he doesn't find out anything concerning this transaction. If you can convince me of your honesty and profound interest in this transaction,then i can proceed to furnish you with the details of this transaction. I need sound assurance that you are solvent and capable of handling a transaction of this magnitude, and that my share of the money will be safe with you. Infact you can read more about my father on this web link http://partners.nytimes.com/library/world/090897obit-mobutu.html \\\"I look forward to your prompt reply.
Warm regards, Prince Michael Randolph Mobutu Sese sekou.

---Well, you have my reply Princey - $100,000 upfront.

I will anxiously await your follow up reply e-mail.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

"Gone Fishin'"...

...to return at a later date.

In the meantime:

1) Just because I think big rigs are cool.

2) I like Nick's writing.

3) Mr Minority's item on personally witnessing September 11, 2001.

4) My former bosses -- the one's on the DESK, that is. (Actually, I'm being kind to them. My former bosses are more like what comes out of the anus, rather than the ass itself).

Sunday, May 08, 2005

"Chucky-ist's" Refuse to Participate in Evolution Discussion

Chucky Darwin, representing science
Chucky, Chucky, Chucky - why - you're not even will to discuss evolution...not even hypothetically?
Well, these folks probably never participated with those who disagreed with them, either.
© 2005

Breaking...Mistrial in Ohio Freeway Shooting Trial

Story Here.

VE Day

BBC Story Here. President Putin and VE Day item here. CBC In Depth here.

Lloyd Cutler dies, Served under Carter and Clinton

Cutler dies, story here.

And more info here.
Public servants and politicians, I believe (on all sides of the political aisle) work long, hard hours, and - whether we may agree or disagree with their politics, I do believe that the majority of them believe that they do what they do to make a difference, and that their difference makes things better all around.

Again, we may have political differences with these people, but they devote themselves to public service, and that in itself, is a tiresome, long day(s), detailed, exhausting devotion.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Happy Mother's Day

To all Mom's, everywhere - those who are with us here, and to those who have left us for a better place, joining others we have lost along the years, a Happy, Blessed Mother's Day!

Friday, May 06, 2005

On Darwin and Liberace

Liberace: Piano Great

Credit and thanks to "R.B." for coining the term Liberal Liberace's which is defined only as an Extreme, Raging, Rabid, Ravenous, Bitter Liberal. (It has nothing to do with sexual orientation). As a matter of fact, in my humble opinion, Liberace was one helluva piano player and he brought piano music to the masses with his unimitated style of mixing classical pieces with pop music, much to the delight of the audience. We lost a fine piano player when he left us, and he had more years to give.

Chucky Darwin, creator of the Theory of Evolution

Without hardly trying, my "Today I Am a Liberal" piece brought out the Looney Left, ever so overly sensitized over mixing politics and religion.

It was okay for you, though, wasn't it, for Bubba Clinton to be seen for his two terms, every Sunday entering and exiting church carrying a Bible the size of the monolith in "2001". That didn't bother the Liberal Liberace crowd -- no, that was fine with them.

The Left's view of religion being inserted into politics is highly over-imaginative. Rest assured, should government (led by any political party) move to establishing a government sponsored religion, I will be there with you vociferously opposing it. Don't you have anything better to do?

So, back to Chucky D. If evolution is correct, then please show me the most recent of those who have evolved. I mean, if Darwin was right, apes should still be evolving into humans, correct? Anyone see or hear of an ape exiting the jungle and saying "I need some underwear and gimme a beer?" Please point me to the area from where the human race is still evolving. I'm sure scientists everywhere would like to observe this.

What is it about the Left, that they are so intolerant of another's religious beliefs? Why is it so hard for you to allow those who believe in a Creator to express themselves?

I'm no model for attendance in church or place of worship. But I believe in a Creator. If you want to give it a term of God, Supreme Being, or Creator - however you want to term it, it's your choice. But it's also a choice the pro-choice crowd does not like the Right to discuss.

And whether you believe in a Creator or not, it's fine with me. I'm not going to be preaching, or attempting to convert you. But allow those of us who do believe the right to do so.

Science, at best, is inexact. Theories abound, but hard-fact-proven-data is rare. Science, similar to doctors and lawyers, often disagree with their peers. Proving anything is anything, is again, a theory.

Science changes as technology advances and grows. "Four out of five Doctors recommend Lucky Strike cigarettes." "Coffee is bad for you." "Coffee is good for you." "Asbestos is safe." "Asbestos causes cancer." "Vioxx is safe." "Vioxx is unsafe."

Get the point? Probably not. That's okay.
© 2005


"Feral Children"

Rob, you are a master of words.

Feral children...feral children...FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Al+Gore Does NOT Equal Inventing The Internet

Thank you Kevin, at WizBang! and Rob, at Say Anything Blog for your items on Al Gore inventing but not inventing but saying he invented but not that he invented, only that he invented, but didn't invent the internet by inventing it, but taking credit for it anyway. Could Al Gore have been LYING when he said that? No, of course not, Libby's don't lie, do they?!???

I needed to do the research, and both you guys had it at your fingertips!


Puppy Torture

When or if the offender is found, I offer my services free of charge for interrogation. All I ask is for five minutes alone in a room with the person. And a ten gallon can of epoxy.

This is simply sick and demented behavior.

Here is the story .

Don't Work At Work

Pawn shopping. Postal errands. Trading on E-bay. My car is dirty, must wash it. Toys R Us. Wal Mart. All the things most of us have to do on our off hours appear to be done while on the clock for this government worker.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Today I am a Liberal!

I woke up a Raging Rabid Ravenous Bitter Liberal. All my political beliefs are wrong. I fully grasp how wonderful Bitter Liber...um....Bitter Socialism is compared to all other political beliefs. The following is what I now believe:

Where's my government check? Isn't it supposed to be in the mail? Well, it's not there, and already I know it's not enough money to sustain the lifestyle that I am used to, so a tax increase is necessary to fund the things that you don't expect me to work for or obtain on my own.

I insist that any and all types of religion be removed, deleted, or expunged from anything to do with government. Further, the word "God" had better damn well be removed from our currency. I demand our current president and congressional members make this their top priority - certainly there is nothing more important than this issue facing the U.S. at this time.

Nothing I say or do, for good or for bad, can be judged. You can only judge me on my intentions, which are altruistic. Really, they are; altruism is my middle name.

As a Bitter Socialist, I get to say and write things like "Bush is a fictitious President", "Stone Henry Hyde and his family", and "The Republicans stole both the 2000 and 2004 elections".

Abortion is, without question, a SACRED form of birth control. It doesn't matter if it's in the first few days of the pregnancy, or as the baby is being delivered.

If I drive my car off a bridge, and land in a body of water, with a woman in the car that I'm having an extramarital affair with, I can escape, leave her to drown, and successfully be reelected several times as a senator. It will help if I wear one of those white neck braces. Does anyone know where I can get one of them?

Oil is bad. Simply bad. Oil. Halliburton. Bush. Cheney. All the power we need is in the wind and the sun. Oh, and in cow poo, we can get all our fuel from cow poo.

Michael Moore is my hero. His films, especially his documentaries, are completely true, accurate, unskewed, objective, and fair. I sincerely apologize for making fun of his weight. I retract all of it. Mr. Moore is a fine example of physical fitness. He is buffed, toned, and the envy of any bodybuilder or anyone who has ever tried to get in shape.

The Iraq war was a complete sham. It was devised by Bush, Cheney, and Halliburton. And Halliburton. Did I mention them?

We need Saddam Hussein-like statues all over the country in the likeness of the greatest president in the history of America: William Clinton. Every state must have at least three statues and cities with populations exceeding fifty thousand must have eleven of these statues and each one must be a minimum of twenty feet tall, and made of solid gold.

America will be renamed Clintonland.

Our renamed country will of course call for a new flag, and the new flag will be a solid blue flag, with one crusty white spot in the middle of it.

The Department of Defense and the Pentagon will be eliminated, as will our armed forces. We will and can negotiate with terrorists and those who wish to harm us. If negotiating doesn't work, we can surely count on the United Nations to protect us.

I can lie under oath, and it doesn't matter.

I can rape away with abandon, and no one will believe the accuser.

Global warming is absolutely and undeniably scientifically true. Taxes must be raised to combat this epidemic.

Cigarettes are the most vile, evil thing on earth. Well, next to Bush, Cheney and Halliburton. And Halliburton. Did I mention Halliburton?

George Soros is truly a sincere individual, and we should do whatever he says, because he knows best.

We must do everything and anything we can for "the children". Those we don't abort, I mean. Children are our greatest resource and asset. If taking care of "the children" means a tax increase, so be it. Nothing - I repeat - NOTHING is more important than "the children".

Condoms must be handed out beginning in pre-school. It's the right thing to do.

Those who do not fully believe in the Liberal/Socialistic Platform will be "re-educated". If you fail re-education, you will be eliminated as a useless eater.

Everyone on life support will have their life support removed. The money saved by doing this will be then spent on "the children".

Paul Wellstone will be exhumed and reanimated. He will then be permanently installed as Supreme Ruler of Clintonland.

Anyone disagreeing with these beliefs has not fully, lib-jectively looked at the situation seriously. Thus, you are a useless eater, and will be eliminated.

Ah, yes, these are the things that I now believe.

Did I mention Halliburton?
© 2005

Monday, May 02, 2005

Higher Income=Higher Weight; Real Life Examples Below:

The American Heart Association noted that people with higher incomes are more likely to be FATTER. The study also noted those earning $60,000 per year or more are those most at risk. Well, isn't it OBVIOUS that the two porkers below earn far, far more than $60,000/year? It's certainly obvious by their sizeable girth! Textbook cases that support the AHA study:

El Obesoto Maximus Capacitous

"Meathead" Rob Reiner
© 2005

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Dante's Levels of Hell

Where will you be in the Afterlife, that is, if you believe is one? If you have or haven't heard of, or read, Dante's Levels of Hell, you can read about them here .

You can take a test on-line to find out if, and if so, which level of Hell, you will go to after life on this earth.

Dante identified nine layers of Hell, with Level Nine being the worst.

Had Dante lived during the 1990's, he most certainly would have added a Tenth Level, which I call the Bill and MrsSatan Clinton Level, where politicians like them will reside if they do not repent.

Rabid Ravenous Bitter Liberals are likely to not take the test because they don't believe in an Afterlife, and even if they do, they're so smugly sure that they are pure and clean that they don't need to worry about repenting.


© 2005

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