David Drake: Mrs Satan-Continued: a Brief Biography

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Mrs Satan-Continued: a Brief Biography

(Disclaimer: All of the following is true, except for those parts which are not).

Mrs. Satan, (a.k.a. Hillary Rodham Clinton) was born in Chicago, Illinois on October 13, 1947, shortly after 1PM. (Note, date is the 13th, and so is the hour: one o'clock being 1300 hours). Mrs. Satan is the daughter of Lucifer, Sr. and the Whore of Babylon. She grew up in Park Ridge, Illinois and attended public school there. She attended Salem School for Witchcraft and Sorcery and is a 1973 graduate of Yale Law School. Mrs. Satan holds multi-degrees in Spells and Chanting, and Hexes and Curses. Her universally acclaimed final thesis was: Darkness and its Relevancy to The Theft of the Soul. Mrs. Satan is married to former President William J. Clinton and they have one daughter, Chelsea.

As an undergraduate at Wellesley College, she mixed academic excellence with school government. At graduation, she said, "The challenge now is to practice politics as the art of making what appears to be impossible, possible."

After graduation, Mrs. Satan advised the Children's Defense Fund in Cambridge and joined the impeachment inquiry staff advising the Judiciary Committee of the House of Representatives. After completing those responsibilities, she "followed her heart to Arkansas," where Bill had begun his political career.

They married in 1975. She joined the faculty of the University of Arkansas Law School in 1975 and the Rose Law Firm in 1976. In 1978, President Jimmy Carter appointed her to the board of the Legal Services Corporation, and Bill Clinton became governor of Arkansas. Their daughter, Chelsea, was born in 1980.

Mrs. Satan was Arkansas' First Lady for twelve years, where she founded the Little Rock Coven of Left Wing Conspiracy, Beelzebub's Knitting-Quilting Bee and Soul Stealing Rotary Club, the Three 666's Club, and served on the board of Satanist's From Arkansas for Liberals. Co-serving on some of these committee's, from time to time, were such well known celebrities as Al Franken, Madelyn Murray O'Hare, and Anton LaVay.

As the nation's First Lady, Mrs. Satan continued to balance public service with private life. Her active role began in 1993 when the President asked her to chair the Task Force on National Health Care Reform. Fortunately, none of us were bamboozled enough by her attempts to cast her wizard-like spells of belief upon the mass public, and Socialized National Health was averted.

Mrs. Satan published a weekly newspaper column entitled "Talking It Over," which focused on her experiences as First Lady and her observations of women, children, and families she has met in her attempts to steal their souls and their votes in 2008. Her 1996 book "It Takes a Satanic Village and Other Lessons Witchcraft Teach Us" was a best seller, and she received a Grammy Award for her recording of it.

As First Lady, her public involvement with many activities sometimes led to controversy. Undeterred by critics, Mrs. Satan won many worshipers and admirers for her staunch support for women around the world and her commitment to children's issues.

She was elected United States Senator from New York on November 7, 2000. She is the first First Lady elected to the United States Senate and the first woman elected statewide in New York.

Midway through her six-year term, Mrs. Satan has proven to be a strong advocate for New York Witchery and Sorcerer's, working in a bipartisan way to pass legislation, secure millions in appropriations and draw attention to issues of her liking. If not, she threatens to cast evil spells that will befall all mankind.

To be continued...

(c) 2005

// posted by David Drake @ 4:33 PM

Comments:

So... David..

What would you do if/when Mrs.Satan takes over running this fine country of ours?

-Just Curious

# posted by

Steve : 1:29 PM, March 07, 2005

Hi Steve, thanks for writing. If mrssatan were to be elected to the White House, I'd tough it out, just as I did for the two terms under Bill Clinton. Plus, if she were elected, I certainly wouldn't lack for material for my blog, not that there's insufficient material already.

I consider myself politically independent. I most definitely lean conservative ("right") on fiscal matters, the free market, a strong military, freedom, and our independence. I can lean "left"; for instance I'm against tort reform, and I have no vested interest in the legal profession and am not economically enhanced by tort reform in any way.

I agree with you, this is a Fine Country of ours, and we have to preserve it. My mrssatan site is up for satire, blog, and commentary and I'm glad you took it in that spirit.

You're blog site as well has some eclectic links, tastes, and info on it, and I like it.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing."

Thanks for writing;
Dave

# posted by

David Drake : 2:02 PM, March 07, 2005

David Drake

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Mrs Satan-Continued: a Brief Biography

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