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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Good Bye, Terri

Terri Schiavo is dead. I've heard almost universally in the news today that her "husband" Michael refused to allow Terri's parents and brothers in the room at the end of her life. I don't know what to make of this.

And I don't know what to make of the actions taken by President Bush, whom I support and voted for twice. And I don't know what to make of his brother, Governor Jeb Bush. And I can't figure out if, when Congress convened two weeks ago specifically to address the Terri Schiavo story, it wasn't anything but a Dog and Pony show for all of them, including the president and his brother.

And I understand the "we can't go about this like Janet Reno did and use force." I understand how the law applied in this case. But I don't know that this situation was a matter of law. If it was, then the law took rank over the life of an innocent individual. I don't know how, and can't push my mind to fathom, starvation as the method of allowing someone to die. Eating and drinking are not involuntary reflexes. We have to eat. We can't really control (to any great degree, like eating and drinking) how many beats our heart will have, or how long our lungs will breathe for us.

So why does the law bother to prosecute parents or custodians who are found guilty of starving their children and negligent of care, when those situations become news? What's so wrong about starving a pet to death?

Today, on his little radio program, the Grand Master of Lies, Al Franken, said "Terri Schiavo died because of bulimia due to a mental disorder." Last I checked, Al, you didn't go to medical school, don't have a medical degree, are in no position to make that judgment, and, although I haven't confirmed this - I think it's safe to say you've never personally visited with Terri Schiavo or her parents.

And where was the most famous Death Imp of all,
Dominick Dunne, in all of this? Was he sitting front row/center, as he did for so many other life and death situations? No. Did his politics put him on the wrong side of this issue? Or didn't the Schiavo case have the "celebrity factor" he requires?

Are judges, on both sides of the political spectrum, so egotistical and filled with delusions of grandeur, that the human element of Terri Schiavo was ignored and dismissed? Is it any wonder or surprise to anyone that we read of judges being targeted and threatened by some of the people who've been before that judge, and felt the penalty imposed by the judge was extreme or unreasonable or excessive? And that person takes out a personal vengeance against the judge. And this is a surprise to us?

If there needs to be one more nail in the coffin of the Left, it is their handling of themselves regarding Terri Schiavo that should leave no doubt that their appreciation of human life is very low on their agenda. Animals are given better care than the Left was willing to give Terri Schiavo.

And, again, Michael Schiavo. What kind of person denies the parents and family access to their dying daughter and sister? And a state of death resulting solely and directly from starvation?

The girlfriend-soon-to-be-new-wife (?) of Michael better be cooking all of her own meals. This is one relationship that will be watched closely until death do they part. Or anything else that happens before then.
© 2005



Brian at NewEagle again hits Home Runs with his take on the European version of Windows.

And a riotous take on what a
feeding tube might look like for Michael Moore...or, for that matter, how he's eaten for the past few decades as well as how he currently feeds himself.

Fine work all around.

....more later today.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The Oy! Oy! Oy! Show! --- Oy!

LEFT OF THE DIAL on HBO, Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 7PM Central Time.

Get the Behind-the-Scenes Story of Air America and
The Al Franken Show.
Hear the Lying Liar Liars of Liar-Dom from behind the scenes! Witness the
Drama Queens face a radio networks' impending financial crisis. See the preening and the primping and the ego clashes of Franken and co-host Cacklin' Lampshade.
See Al Franken furrow his brow and frown. HEAR Cacklin' Lampshade cackle her hideous, ear-splitting, deafening, blood-curdling-rusty-nails-across-a chalk board laugh!

"Oh the Drama, Oh The Drama!"

Witness a talentless, inept, group of supposed seasoned entertainers produce a radio program with the professional standards lower than a bunch of monkeys screeching into a microphone.

© 2005

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

El Obesoto Maximus Capacitous

The Man Who's Never Met a Meal He Didn't Like (somtimes "seconds" and "thirds" as well!)
© 2005


Brain tumor kills O.J. attorney Johnnie Cochran.

Koffi Annan trying to do whatever he can do to keep his
political career from flat-lining.

Al Franken: The All Time Big Fat Liar Lying Liar of Liar-Dom

Al Franken, on his radio show The Al Franken Show, this week has been saying that both President Bush and his brother, Florida Governor Jeb Bush, are disingenuous in their support for Terri Schiavo.

Franken refers to a young girl in Texas who was taken off life support and makes a gross miscalculation in his analogy of her circumstances to Terri Schiavo, and the fact that the girls life support was removed while George W. was the governor. The difference, Al, is taking someone off life support versus starving them to death. Why is that so hard for you, and so many other extreme liberals, to understand? Why, even Jesse Jackson and Ralph Nader agree on the right thing to do regarding Ms. Schiavo. (What took them so long is another story).

Case in point: Al would like us to believe that "we", meaning, in his words, the American people, didn't know just how bad cocaine overindulgence could be. Why, it was just YESTERDAY Al, in
1920, that it was added to the list of narcotics to be outlawed in the Dangerous Drug Act of 1920.

AirHeadAmerican: Al Franken (Why do so many liberals have this Deer-In-The Headlights-Look?)

Why should we believe him? Why, intelligent liberals that they are, far more intelligent and a "I know best" attitude than you or I - and they didn't have a hint or a clue that cocaine could be hazardous to your health?

No, only going back to the early 1900's Al, according the the information from the above hypertext:

* 1905 Snorting cocaine becomes popular.
* 1910 First cases of nasal damage from Cocaine snorting are written of in medical literature.
* First cases of nasal damage from Cocaine snorting are seen in hospitals.
* 1912 U.S. Government reports 5,000 Cocaine related fatalities in one year.
* 1914 Cocaine banned in United States

If you really need to visit
the Al Franken show site, here it is.

The below is from the "Saturday Night Live" book Live From New York (As Told by its Stars, Writers, and Guests) - by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller, and are Frankens' words verbatim:

Page 104, (the John he refers to is John Belushi)

"Yes, there were some people on the show doing coke. I don't like to get in to this. John died of it. He had a problem, he got addicted. We didn't know about that, we didn't know at the time, When I say 'we', I mean Americans didn't know what cocaine did, and about addiction, and that kind of thing."

Keep telling yourself this lie, Al, if that's what it takes for you to look yourself in the mirror.

And this guy wanted to run for the open Senate seat in Minnesota in 2006? Why should we believe anything this man says?

You can fool some of the people some of the time Al, but you can fool yourself all of the time.

© 2005

Monday, March 28, 2005


The Earthquake:
Full Coverage is here and Here.

Terri Schiavo's Father makes Plea to end the starvation of his daughter.

number of dead are beginning to be counted from the Sumatra Earthquake.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...

Prohibition of Biological Weapons Convention Turns Thirty!

Geeeeee............you don't look a day over 29! How DO you do it?

From the above article:
"An international convention prohibiting the production and stockpiling of biological and toxin weapons came into force 30 years ago, Saturday. But with recent advances in biotechnology, experts say, it needs to be updated and strengthened in order to remain relevant." (Gee, ya think? Updated? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!)

I wonder if the cake looked like this:

© 2005

Item du Jour

Brian hits a home run at New Eagle with his take on a site called Fishing Hurts. PETA is "Open Season" for jokes, ridicule, and outright hostile sarcasm folks. The Range Is Open, Fire Away!

Fishing Hurts. I realize this is a print medium, but in my best Dean Martin imitation:
"Oh, Dat's So Sad!"

© 2005

Friday, March 25, 2005

The Path Doesn't Matter to DemocRATS

" One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.

'Which road do I take?', she asked.

His response was a question: 'Where do you want to go?"

'I don't know," Alice answered.

'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.' "
- Lewis Carroll

© 2005

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Five Years: No Terroristic Threats from Cuban Boys

This year, Easter Saturday falls on March 26. Five years ago, Easter Saturday fell on April 22, 2000. That was the day Elian was sent away. It's been five years since the U.S. was "terrorized" and our shores "threatened" by a six year old Cuban boy named Elian Gonzalez. Yes, the Clinton Reich, and its Attorney General Janet Reno, were awfully strong taking on a child, rather than say - oh - I don't know - Kim Jong Il perhaps? Osama Bin Laden? Saddam Hussein?

Former Attorney General Janet Reno

When she wasn't directing the killing and slaughter of civilians in Waco, Texas, or exiling a young Cuban boy, shooting and killing civilians in Ruby Ridge, Idaho, Ms. Bulldog Reno was always a willing accomplice and patsy for Bubba-The-President-Who-Couldn't-Keep-his-Winkie-in-His-Pants.

Yes - we can all thank Ms. Reno and her dutiful observance in carrying out so many nasty antics during her stint in the Clinton terms. We can only hope she refrains from future political office, as her failed attempt in Florida a few years ago to run for.......dog catcher, was it?

No matter how you look at what happened in Waco, surely there was a better means to negotiate the release of civilians in a process that would not have resulted in so many tragic deaths. The actions taken by the Clinton Reich to the people in Waco are an American atrocity. Civilians were burned to death. Shot to death.

Read more about Elian Gonzalez, Waco, Ruby Ridge, and Ms. Reno at:
Elian Gonzalez:
uscis.gov/graphics/publicaffairs/ElianG.htm, www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/law/elian/, www.weht.net/WEHT/Elian_Gonzalez.html

www.zpub.com/un/un-jr.html, www.islandone.org/Politics/Waco.McCurry.html, counterpunch.org/wheeler0924.html

Ruby Ridge:
www.outlawslegal.com/friendly/ruby.htm, www.cnn.com/US/9510/ruby_ridge/, www.command-post.org/oped/2_archives/001745.html

Ms. Bulldog:
members.tripod.com/~reno4governor/index-25.html, christianparty.net/reno.htm, www.apfn.org/apfn/janet.htm

And a whole lot-o tasteless (warning: Very Tasteless) jokes about Ms. Bulldog at:

© 2005

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Oppression + War Zone = Guns!!

Hmmmmm.....oppression.....a war zone.....hmmmm....do you think there might be a gun or two around that you'd see? Well, not if you're as stupid as the dimwitted Senator from Nevada, Harry Reid. (Memo to Harry: You will find pie's in a Pie Shop!)

For even more hilarity, check out Senator DimWit's very own
web site and read about this doddering old fool. For even more "fiction", check out his official biography as it's good for many, many laughs.

Don't miss these sentences of gold from the Bio section: The Las Vegas Sun newspaper summarized Reid's story by saying that he has gone from underdog to Senate's top dog.

Parade Magazine, the nation's largest weekly magazine, identified Senator Reid as one of a handful of leaders in Washington with integrity and guts.

I'm sure that great journalistic entity, Parade Magazine, meant to say that "Reid has irregularity and he's nuts." It was just a translation problem.
© 2005

I wish I had George Soros' Money....(Everyone likes sore losers, don't they?)

George Soros is back again, like a bad dream doing all he can to foist his myopic political views upon us once again.

If I had the wealth of Mr. Soros, I'd be happily spending the rest of my life on various golf courses around the world.

Soros and all his cohorts are Bitter, Bitter, Liberals. I ran across a blog the other day where the writer was still bitching about both "stolen elections" in 2000 and 2004.

I had to laugh. If you're one of the Bitter Liberals still fuming over those "stolen elections" - I say: keep at it. Devote all your time to a continual bitch session about those election years.

"Yeah - Gore won in Florida, the Supreme Court gave the election to Bush and 'they' did the same thing this year in Ohio with Kerry!"

Yeah, you're doing the right thing. Keep up your mantra. Continue to destroy and implode the political party you align yourself with.

Your Bitter Liberal Attitude will only continue to work against you. I look forward to your continued loss of Congressional and Senatorial seats 2006.

© 2005


The link below to the Rush Limbaugh item on Schiavo nurse Carla Iyers isn't working, but I did not want to remove it (yet). However, the information is available on Newsmax.com.

The Red Lake, MN shooter, Jeff Weise, apparently
made a Flash Film of a shooter killing people and The Smoking Gun has the story.
© 2005

Wednesday March 23, 2005

Apparently the BET at BET.com stands for Boorish Editorial Tactics. NOTE TO BET: Ms. Schiavo is not comatose; she is not comatose. Unlike your headline writers and the "BET staff". Who is that anyway, and how many are there - two? Two people pulling news off the wire between shotgun chugs and bong hits? What is wrong with you? What the hell possessed you to choose the word comatose? Morons...idiots...

A former nurse for Terri Schiavo, Carla Sauer Iyer, has
an incredible story to tell of her eyewitness account in caring for Ms. Schiavo.

Mr. Limbaugh also recaps Ms. Iyers' claims.

Families of some victims in the Red Lake, MN school shooting feel they are pressured and censored in being asked
not to discuss the situation with the media.

smelliest sneakers in the U.S. go to a Vermont boy.

We all know if this contest were open to the general public -- or in his case the "mass public" -- that the hands down winner would be the sweaty, smelly, stinky, rolly poly, Round Mound of Propaganda....the "Obese One", Michael "I'll have another cake, please" Moore.
© 2005

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Tuesday March 22, 2005

The Guardian runs a story giving insight into the alleged school shooter, Jeff Weise, in Red Lake, MN.

The Zombie known as the United Nations attempts
to resuscitate itself are outlined in an Op/Ed piece by Koffi Annan, written for The Moscow Times. Hmmmm - they beat the New York Times to the scoop, I guess.
© 2005

Monday, March 21, 2005

A New Dimension?

Did I wake up in a new Dimension? One where The Left vocally supports states' rights? What world am I in, when Liberals act against the Federal Government intervening in a state case, as in the Schiavo case? When did the Left become such a staunch advocate of the State?

The whole premise of the Left is to have more Federal control, and intrusion, into what the state does. And with Ms. Schiavo, they are lobbying against it? Are we in a Superman-ish Bizarro World, where everything we once knew has changed? Or..."flip - flopped"?

Perhaps if the Bush Administration had moved to send armed military to Florida, to reconnect Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube at gunpoint, as the Clinton Reich & Ms. Reno did with Waco and Elian Gonzalez -- perhaps done that way -- the Left would have approved.

In other News GM will slash their white collar workforce . I wonder if The Obese One (aka Michael Moore) will make a sympathetic documentary of their plight?

© 2005

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Sunday March 20, 2005

Automaker John DeLorean has died.

Mussolini's granddaughter is barred from running for public office.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Henry Waxman - Grandstander

Congressman Henry "Porky Pig" Waxman (D-CA)

Someone ought to get a croquet mallet and take Congressman Waxman to the woodshed for five minutes and shine a new political perspective into his 'noggin (Pronunciation: 'nä-gun; Function: noun; Etymology: origin unknown; 1 : a small mug or cup; 2 : a small quantity (as a gill) of drink; 3 : a person's head) .

Shouldn't we Err on the side of life, not death? Ms. Terri Schiavo is not dying, nor is she terminally ill. Nor is she on an oxygen machine, or a heart/lung machine, nor is she being kept alive by any artificial means.

Somehow, this translates into starving her to death, by removing her feeding tube? The law would and has arrested people who've deliberately done this to dogs or cats, let alone a child or elderly adult.

And along comes career
Congressman Porcine grandstanding in the Baltimore Sun: In Washington, Rep. Henry A. Waxman of California, the ranking Democrat on the House Government Reform Committee that issued the subpoenas, called the maneuver a "flagrant abuse of power" and said the subpoenas would be unenforceable. "Congress is turning the Schiavo family's personal tragedy into national political farce," Waxman said in a statement. "The process was a perversion of democracy."

Congressman McRiblet , who represents the Rodeo Drive crowd (see * below) appears to think this should be hands-off by the Federal Government, and, as much, a farce!

A farce? No, a farce was the tobacco trials, which were nothing more than a money grab by The Left at manufacturers of a legal and taxed product by parading cancer victims and their families in front of your committee cameras.

And as far as turning the plight of one family, or one individual, into a nationwide cause, what the hell are you talking about Mr. Waxman? That's what The Left has done for years. It's your Party Platform! Ask former (losing) Vice Presidential contender and Senator John Edwards. Ask some of the other trial lawyers who are Senators.

I don't pretend to have the answers in a scenario like Ms. Schiavo. I don't think anyone does, and my prayers go out to her and her family. I can't imagine being faced with these decisions.

But removing her feeding tube, at the very least, seems inhumane. This is not a biological shut down of the body, as I said, that would apply to being physically being kept alive by artificial breathing, or the artificial heart/lung means.

This is letting someone die by starvation. There is nothing in writing where Ms. Schiavo makes her wishes known of what she would want done should she ever be in the situation she is in. Her husband claims she stated this verbally. While she may have indeed said that, legally, if it's not in writing - it doesn't carry much water in court.

(*) "Henry A. Waxman represents California's 30th Congressional District, which includes the complete cities of Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, Agoura Hills, Calabasas, Hidden Hills, Malibu, Westlake Village and West Hollywood, as well as such areas of Los Angeles as Beverly-Fairfax, Pacific Palisades, Brentwood, Beverlywood, Topanga, Agoura, Chatsworth and Westwood." - From Porky's own Biographical information on his website.

(c) 2005

Friday, March 18, 2005

PETA and the Fishing Column - Added Thoughts

I continue to have this story (see March 16 - "Fortune Caps and PETA",below) gnaw at me. Think about what PETA is doing. They are protesting the writing of a fishing column. The writing of it. How far off the edge of the scale of reasonable animal protection does their protest go?

I saw two bumper stickers today, on the same car. One read "Humans aren't the only species on Earth. We just act like it." On the other side of the bumper was a PETA sticker.

I think we live in a pretty good, harmonious balance with nature (See March 11 - "Feral Cat story below). And I acknowledge we aren't the only species on Earth. I think we can agree about that. But is there any reason we shouldn't 'act like it'? If we don't, who should? Does that sticker suggest we should let deer vote and drive? Perhaps bring farm animals to the casinos and the theater with us? Let our dogs and cats run for public office -- okay, okay, I know that one is a good idea in many cases, but.....

While I don't think anyone needs, or should have, a lion, or tiger, or leopard fur coat - we don't need their skins to stay warm. If someone wants a mink coat, I have no problem with that. If you've ever seen minks, and I have, they are nothing more than nasty, aggressive, ugly rats with an incredibly nice fur coat. They are raised for the purpose of their fur. Zap 'em - I don't care.

And while I think all of our domesticated animals should be taken care of, and fed, and given shelter; and that laws to prosecute those who deliberately avoid taking care of their pets, or who deliberately are cruel or inhumane should be prosecuted - I'm sorry - PETA has, with this move - and this present focus on asking a newspaper to give up their First Amendment Right to print a fishing column, solidified themselves as a political group than has gone off the edge of reasonableness. Far, far, far off the edge of reasonableness.
(c) 2005

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St. Patrick Day

May your hangover - if any - be minor!

U.N. and World Health Organization Condemn Tanning Beds

"It's about time the U.N. and W.H.O took a stand against evil tanning beds."


Remember several years ago when Joe Pesci was in every movie? Or Steven Sagal? Well, get ready for the same phenomenon with an onslaught of Jimmy Fallon movies.

(c) 2005

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Fortune Caps and PETA

We all know what Fortune Cookies are, right? Jones Soda (I have no financial interest in "plugging" them, although I wish I did because then I'd devote several different blogs to what a great soda company they are indeed -- although the Root Beer is really good!) has Fortune Caps, the underside of the bottle cap has a message, and today mine said "Your social life could be glamorous and rewarding right now." And while I wish that for everyone, everywhere - and I'm not so sure I'd be able to handle that Fortune Cap come true - it all hinges on that one word "could", so I'm not placing any bets. When was the last time your Fortune Cookie came true? "You will read a Fortune Cookie after Eating Chinese Meal, Then go Home, Watch TV, and go To Sleep". That's closer to home.

It disturbs me in mental anguish in ways that I cannot even find words to describe, but I have to note and link to
PETA as they have jumped to a whole new level in protesting a fishing column.....yes...an actual column:

From The Web site of the Rock River Valley — Rockford, Ill. http://www.rrstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050312/SPORTS19/50312004/1155/SPORTS

Published: March 12, 2005
Quick Shots Outdoors: PETA opposes fishing column
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wrote to Register Star sports editor Randy Ruef this week “to suggest that it’s time to abandon your paper’s fishing column.”The letter stated that fish feel pain just like animals, and equated fishing to “recreational abuse of dogs and cats.” It was signed by Karin Robertson, fish empathy project manager.Don’t worry, we’ll continue to run our fishing columns.

".....mmmm, yummmm, I love hanging off this hook...urggg! Sure it hurts a little....and the breathing, to be perfectly honest, out of water - breathing is not so good. But I couldn't resist that wiggly little worm on that nice, pointed, sharp, unforgivingly painful hook.....mmmmm...ouch.....yum.........(gaaaaaaaaasp)"

It reminds me of the joke, "I want to die just like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in the car."

(c) 2005

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Child Protection Agencies: Too Much Power - No Accountability?

This is the story of The Harper Family, and their struggle to regain custody of their autistic son. And, as most everyone involved in this case agrees that one case cannot and should not be the sole basis to change the law - how can anyone disagree with compensating those who were wrongfully accused? Who could disagree with having the "Loser Pay" rule apply, and have the legal costs reimbursed by the losing party. Who?

Well, pick one: Minnesota, California, Massachusetts, Washington.

It should come as no surprise that the answer is Minnesota. (Not to mention that many laws have become law due to a sole individual or circumstance: Meagans Law and Dru Sjodin are two that immediately come to mind) - so perhaps one instance, at least in cases like the Harpers, would restore the financial loss they incurred due to the ineptitude of the county worker. Why does "ineptitude" always go along with (pick one) county/ state/federal worker? (Don't get all huffy, it certainly occurs in the private sector as well). But when the below happens, any level of government should make restitution to the harmed parties, in this case, The Harpers.


[The Harpers] state senator, Cal Larson, has introduced a bill that says if the county removes a child and "the removal is found by the district court to be inappropriate", the county shall be liable for all costs.

The Association of Counties is lobbying against the bill.

Susan Ault is the Director of Children and Family Services for Ramsey county. She said of the bill, "That would be a huge cost to the taxpayers." [Oh, isn't that touching Ms. Ault, you're looking out for the taxpayers? Give me a break. You don't want any accountability, do you - that's what it's really all about!]

Ault say the law is a bad idea [Big surprise here!] but she says it won't change the way they make decisions. [Then why adopt your attitude? Because you don't want to be held accountable!] "We can't be running scared from anybody, so it will not affect our practice, our decision making." [Ms. Ault, with all due respect, just run away from all of us. Find another race to live with because I cannot count you among the human one anymore and am unable to see the world you see through your glasses.]

The Harpers are all for removing children actually in danger but say the county needs to be accountable when it tears families apart needlessly.

Otter Tail county would not discuss the Harpers case in detail. but agreed with other counties that the law should not be changed based on this one incident.

(c) 2005

Monday, March 14, 2005

Brief Random Items

People, please see the March 7 item below, CASH A FORGOTTEN EXCHANGE? I know - I know --I've heard all the "pro" arguments, they're some good ones, it has its advantages. But you know what? It slows down the whole process of going through the check out line - not just for ME, but for YOU as well. PLEASE START USING CASH, it's FASTER! Thank you.

Is This Man Mad?

Bud Selig, Major League Baseball Bigshot
...''excessive and unprecedented misuse of congressional power...''
The baseball commissioner would like us to believe that never has congress unleashed such powers. This man is a text book Pin Head.

The "excessive and unprecedented misues of Major League Baseball" is its insistence, and its gall and wherewithal to continue to push for taxpayer funded stadiums in cities where MLB has its teams. The prime example is MLB's "threat of the Minnesota Twins "contraction" .

Last Item
It needs no introduction, it speaks for itself, it's well written, well thought-out and witty, check out New Eagle.
(c) 2005

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Michael Moore Will Work For Food??

Is this really the The Rotund One? Has the economy hit quasi-documentary propaganda makers like Moore as well?

Quake 6.4 hits New Zealand Islands

A 6.4 earth Quake struck between both the North and South Islands Monday, March 14 -New Zealand Time.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Friday March 11, 2005

"The Jury requests a playground recess, your honor."
In the state of Washington, a five year old boy, Nathaniel Skiles, has been summoned for jury duty three times! The television report I saw showed the frustration of his mother, who told of how unresponsive the government was in trying to understand their error in sending jury duty notices to a five year old.

Mrs. Skiles, if I may suggest to you and others who may encounter this: If your child gets a notice that they have been selected for jury duty -- show up with them on the scheduled day, and insist your child be allowed to be a juror.

Ah, the official response: "it all boils down to a computer glitch." It always does come down to that when no one wants to take responsibility. (Full story follows)

Do You Really Want A 5-Year-Old On A Jury? March 9, 2005 By Liz Rocca http://www.komotv.com/stories/35643.htm
KIRKLAND, WA - Nathaniel Skiles is a typical 5-year-old. He's bursting with energy and more fixated on his toys than on his civic duty. "I don't even know how to read," he said. Then why is he being called for jury duty? Not once, but three times. "The first one came when he was three, which was two years ago, sometime in the spring," explained his mom, Tammy Skiles. "Then the next one was June of last year and then this one is April. So, once a year, since he was three, we've gotten a jury summons for him."

When Tammy called the court, to ask how this could happen, she didn't get much satisfaction. "She (the clerk) thought maybe they got his name from voter registration rolls, and I said well I know he's not registered to vote!" King County Court Administrators say it all boils down to a computer glitch. When Nathaniel's mom got him a state I.D. card, it seems someone at the Department of Licensing may have accidentally entered his birth year as 1900, instead of 2000.

"And I'm thinking man, if you're getting called every year when you're 103, 104, 105 they're pretty desperate to get you to serve on their jury!" said Tammy. The courts say the problem is fixed and Nathaniel is dismissed from jury duty. That's okay with him because he told KOMO 4 News "Actually, it would be boring. And, I don't know what an attorney is." Tammy plans to go straight to the Department of Licensing and correct her son's information before this happens again. (c)KOMO TV

Wisconsin Man Receiving Death Threats in calling for Open Season on Feral Cats
Feral Cats

La Crosse, WI - Feral cats in La Crosse are multiplying in numbers that rival rabbit reproduction, yet - the pressure builds against the individual who proposed open season on them. Why, the next thing you know the ACLU will be defending prayer in the workplace against Dell Computer and at the same time assist in the successful banning of The Mount Soledad Cross overlooking San Diego. Those wacky ACLUer's. How much bleeding from the heart can these Lefty's do before their nine pints of blood runs dry?

Spain Mourns Victims of 2004 Madrid Terrorism

Victims of the Madrid train bombings one year ago are mourned and remembered today. Of course, lest not forget this is all it took for Al-Qaida-linked militants to get Spain to concede as an ally to the united countries involved in the Iraq matter. Maybe the Spanish government can make a healthy monetary donation to Hamas or Hezbollah to further appease terrorists from striking again in Spain.

Rapid City, South Dakota: Today it was almost 70 degrees (F) in Rapid City

(c) 2005

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Tony Danza and Michael Jackson

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Tony Danza
Nothing personal towards Tony Danza, but I'm somehow lost, dazed, and confused that anyone could simply ever find themselves watching the Tony Danza Show. It's just not the format for him. I've watched all of three minutes of it - 30 seconds here, a minute there - and it totals up to three minutes.

Which is about the same time, in total, of watching any and all of the Michael Jackson coverage. Do you really need a link, or another story about about him? If so, most any of the news links on the right side of this page will get you there. Enjoy the festivities.

(c) 2005

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

CBS Eye to Be at "Half Lid" in honor of Dan Rather

The CBS Eye
At midnight on Wednesday, March 9, 2005, the well known logo of CBS - the eye - will go to "Half Lid" in honor and respect for that great and grand, objective, fair, journalist Dan Rather, and his final delivery of their network news. The Eye shall remain at "Half Lid" until midnight Friday, March 11, 2005, at which time it will reopen to a fully awakened state. The CBS Network is asking all its affiliates to do likewise.
(c) 2005


"It's the End of Dans' Newscast as we know it, it's the End of Dans' Newscast as we know it, it's the End of Dans' Newscast as we know it, and I feeeel fine.....and I feel fiiii-nnnneee."

(With apologies to R.E.M.)

To be continued...
(c) 2005

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

What's The Frequency Kenneth? Part 3: T Minus One Newscast

Dan Rather, Final Newscast
"This is the end, My only friend, the end."-Jim Morrison
March 9, 2005
Tonight, Wednesday March 9, 2005, is the last night for Dan Rather taking his walk from his dressing room to the anchor desk center. What are you thinking tonight, your last newscast? Are you thinking about the faked documents? Or that extraordinary taxi cab ride you claimed to have? Or perhaps how proud you were to sit across Saddam Hussein and talk global issues with him, and sympathize with him. Or perhaps you're mulling over those five minutes or so when you refused to go on air because the network news was delayed by a football game. Or maybe you're thinking you're sure glad you didn't get fired like others involved in the fake document scandal.

I've realized this Op/Ed piece comes down to one question; what does Dan Rather think, when he thinks? Power tripping on his part? Ego? Surely he doesn't and can't consider himself a journalist by the strict standard and definition of the word. So what is he?

Did you see the self-congratulatory piece on the Hussein coup interviews by Dan Rather, both pre-Gulf Wars (under both President G.H.W. and G. W. Bush) on Tuesday nights newscast? It was pure gloating on CBS's part to do whatever they had to do to bring this tyrant off as a presentable public leader, and Lap Dog Dan was eager to wag his tail and please.

If I may paraphrase one of Dans' "Ratherism's" - his droll, Texas wit - "that if a toad had side pockets, he'd carry a pistol." Well Dan, in the same vein: "As you settle into those sunset years, may your recollections of yourself be as grandiose as a slow fox on a rabbit hunt."

A talking head on television, purporting the liberal agenda that the CBS News Division wishes to propagate. That's it. I'm not so sure Dan thinks at all. I think he's told what to think. And now, on the rocking chair at the retirement home, who will tell Dan what to think?
(c) 2005

Separated at Birth?: Mrs. "Ketchup" and Ronnie James Dio

Mrs. Theresa Kerry, The Ketchup Queen

Ronnie James Dio, Rocker Extraordinaire
March 8, 2005
Tell me the two people above weren't separated at birth, and I'll tell you Woodrow Wilson is the current president. My they look alike, don't they? Not since the remarkable resemblance between Madeline Albright and Under Dog nemesis, Simon Bar Sinister (see February archive) has there been two people who look so much alike.

Certainly, I will argue that Mr. Dio has contributed far more to society than the Ketchup Queen. Mr. Dio stepped into Ozzie Osbournes' shoes to fill the vocalist spot in Black Sabbath. Not easy shoes to fill, mind you - and he did a wonderful job. A great vocal range that "fit" with the rest of Sabbath. His solo career, as well as his stint with Rainbow, along with the many taxes that Mr. Dio and his crew have paid throughout the years exceeds any contribution(s) made my Mrs. Ketchup.

Mrs. Ketchup, today you purport that the electronic voting machines were rigged. Yeah, and the Clinton Administration was "the most ethical administration this country will ever see" (Bill Clinton's famous line at his First inauguration). I guess that depends on what your definition of "ethical" is. Mrs. Ketchup, we never heard anything from you until your husband, Senator John Kerry, ran for president. Prior to that, we weren't sure you even existed, Mrs. Ketchup. Now, you can't seem to stop talking. Has John misplaced the ball-gag for you that was in place during the campaign. We didn't hear much from you then; even the DNC knew you were a ticking time bomb in what you might say, and how it would be to the detriment of the Kerry campaign.

Good for you, Mrs. Ketchup. Keep up the vociferous vocal allegations. Pretty soon, you may just end up looking like former Vice President Al Gore. WHO? (You know, that guy who ran with Bill Clinton; lost the presidential race in the year 2000, got really fat, grew a beard, and the guy with all the bitterness in him the past five years). Yeah, that's the guy, Al Gore. Who??
(c) 2005

Monday, March 07, 2005

What's The Frequency Kenneth - Part 2: T Minus Two Newscasts and Counting...

Dan Rather, soon to be a retiree.
March 7, 2005
What if it's Just Another Fake Story and Dan Isn't Retiring?
What if Dan's retirement is all just a joke on us...a terrible, horrible, unjustified joke - a hoax - on the public, and he will still be in the anchor chair on Thursday. And Friday. His posterior super-glued to the chair, delivering yet another untrue story, fabricated in his mind and positing it upon the great unwashed. Would people "fall" for this, or would they not care?

Interim CBS Nightly News Anchor will be Bob Schieffer, the competent host of "Face The Nation" for years.

Bob Schieffer officially overthrows the "Rather Throne" Thursday, March 10.
How long will Bob be in the anchor chair until a permanent one is found? Why not shake up the evening news and get Howard Stern to sit in for a few weeks? As a matter of fact, CBS could have rotating, varying anchors. One week is Howard Stern, another week it's Michael Moore. The week after that, it could be Rob Reiner. Then Ward Churchill.....

......who knows who could end up being the permanent CBS Evening News anchor...maybe, perhaps...even

(c) 2005

CASH - A Forgotten Exchange?

These are Five and Ten Dollar Bills, for those who've never seen them.
Cash - nice crisp, always accepted cash. Convenient, time saving, accurate, easy. Why oh why then, are so many people ahead of me in check out lines grabbing for their debit cards. They slide the card in, the magnetic strip reader doesn't read it, so the have to swipe the card again. And maybe a third time. Or, a sales associate will have to enter the transaction further adding to the time spent waiting in line.

People, people, people - please, we can overcome this by simply carrying some cash in our pockets. Do you tip pizza delivery with cash or a debit card? I wouldn't even know how to go about tipping the pizza delivery on a debit card. Cash is easy, it's simple, it's fast.

Please start using cash. Speed up the line for the rest of us. I'm talking about the items that total between $4.13 to $10 or so dollars. There is no reason to use a debit card for anything less than ten dollars. There is not one justified reason to pay in debit card manner for items or charges less than $10. You are inconveniencing all of us, and I'm tired of it. Carry some cash around on your person, you never know when it will come in handy for a bribe.
(c) 2005

Sunday, March 06, 2005

What's The Frequency Kenneth? Three Days Remain...

Dan Rather, soon to be a retiree.

Wednesday, March 9, 2005 is officially the end of the Dan Rather Dynasty on the CBS Evening News. Who can fill his shoes, I ask you...which of those amongst us can truly fill his shoes.

His political bias shone through and through, year after year, story after story, report after report. The loss of Dan Rather in the media circus is not a great loss, not by any means of the imagination. Losing him to news, is like finally losing that grotesque, last, fungus infected toenail you somehow got last summer at the lake or beach.

He was locked and loaded for Nixon, Ford, Reagan, H.W. Bush, and now President George W. Bush. Anything to keep the liberal (nee Kommunist) party platform and agenda moving forward -- that was Dan's job for decades. He took his orders from Boris Badenov, or whomever at the time was Kommunist Platform Party Leader (a.k.a DNC Chairman), and did his best to perpetuate the propaganda.

Boris Badenov
Whether is was James Carville, Joe Lockhart, Nancy Pelosi, Bill Clinton or his wife, MrsSatan - Dan was eager and willing to do their dirty work. "Docu-Gate" is what your fate is, Dan, for that you will be remembered, and unlike those who were fired with no "grace time" in the "Docu-Gate" saga at CBS, you're allowed to sign off the airwaves one last time. To say "Good Bye". I won't be watching, and I won't miss you.
"Courage, Dan -- Courage"
(c) 2005

Sunday Morning Political Show Jottings

Nancy Pelosi, Congresswoman

Sunday March 6, 2005
You have to hand it to the Democrats again. They've pulled out the old, dusty, moldy, "Tactics" playbook again. As usual, they are focusing in on the 'doom and gloom' chapters on Social Security reform. The Left has been telling us for years and decades that Social Security needs reforming. The president has a plan, a good one at that. Now, the Left adopts an attitude conveying that there's really not much of a problem with social security.

Ms. Pelosi, described the Social Security reforms of the President and the Republicans as "slashing benefits". She also used the words "Bush's wreckless economic policies..." will not add in any way to help Social Security reform.

"Boo, Social Security - Boo! Boo! Prescription drug benefits for seniors - Boo! Boo! Boo!" - the same liberal mantra that's been used for almost the past fifty years. The Left has nothing to offer, which is why the country in trending conservative and has been since the 1994 oft-called Republican Revolution. The scare tactics of the left have more holes in them than Senator Robert Byrd's old Klan sheet.

At least three times Chis Wallace, on Fox News Sunday asked Ms. Pelosi what is [the Democrat's plan or response to the Bush plan] and every time Ms. Pelosi avoided answering the question.

Dan "Fake Docu-Gate" Rather (Where is Howard Beale when we need him?)

Chris Wallace also interviewed Donald Trump. When asked his thoughts on Dan Rather, Mr. Trump replied: "How does this guy stay in the [network news] ratings and continue to go on? I don't think he's good at the news." Trump added "I'd have fired him years ago."

Here's the link to the "I'm mad as hell" Peter Finch as Howard Beale speech in the film "Network" http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechnetwork2.html

Morton Zuckerman

Mr. Zuckerman, on (what was a Friday, March 4, 2005 program) on McLaughlin Group, during the "prediction" round, predicted that by year end, there will have been 2 million jobs added. Let's hope he's correct.
(c) 2005

Friday, March 04, 2005

Katherine Lanpher - DUI Whitewash, Cover Up?

Katherine Lanpher, co host Air America

March 5, 2003


The below story is getting harder and harder to find. It seems conspiracy-like, in searching on the terms "Katherine Lanpher DWI/DUI". I wasn't able to find nary a cached item on this story. The reason I find it relevant is, that the Left, especially the Katherine Lanpher, Al Franken, Robin Williams looney left crowd seems to ask the public for their support, and to respect their personal privacy when one of "theirs" takes their third or fourth trip into the Betty Ford Clinic, or some other substance abuse for the wealthy and famous.

It's off limits to make a re-hab jokes about Robert Downey, Jr., (whom I think is a very talented actor), but then the Left found layer upon layer of Rush Limbaugh and oxycontin jokes from the well, didn't they.

Well, Bless the Charlotte Observer for having cached the Lanpher Liquor Lane Craze, whereupon she made the decision to drive her car at .21 blood alcohol content, (.10 is legally drunk in Minnesota), and allegedly side-swiped another parked vehicle, and drove off, leaving the scene of the accident. No one was injured.

Lanpher, former Minnesota Public Radio on the air personality can only be described as listening to a rake being scraped across the old style, slate blackboards.

Below, and with full Fair Use Doctrine rights, is one of the very few remaining links to this story. Is it being whitewashed and removed from story cache's? The google search that led to a link in the Minneapolis Star Tribune notes "file not found" when searching their site. Here then, is the story:

Posted on Fri, May. 02, 2003

The Charlotte Observer


Katherine Lanpher, the Minnesota Public Radio talk-show host and former newspaper columnist, received a $300 fine and 40 hours of community service after pleading guilty to a drunken driving charge, her attorney said Thursday.

Lanpher, 43, of St. Paul, pleaded guilty in Ramsey County District Court on Wednesday to a gross misdemeanor in connection with an incident in which she allegedly hit a car and left the scene. No one was injured in the April 12 incident.

St. Paul City Attorney Manuel Cervantes said Lanpher's sentence appears standard. "I'm confident that this is not extraordinary treatment," Cervantes said. Ron Rosenbaum, Lanpher's attorney, said the incident was a wake-up call for the local celebrity.

"Katherine actually views this situation as a positive," Rosenbaum said. "She recognizes that she has a problem and she's dealing with it."

An Intoxilyzer breath test showed Lanpher's blood-alcohol level at the time of her arrest was 0.21 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.10 percent for driving.

Lanpher began her news career at the Pioneer Press and spent more than five years as a columnist before taking a job in 1998 with MPR, where she hosts the two-hour "Midmorning" program weekdays.

Rosenbaum said the radio station has been supportive and that he expects Lanpher, who has temporarily left her job, to be back on the air soon.

[end of Charlotte Observer article]

(c) 2005

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Michael Moore Interview

(Disclaimer: All of the following is true, except for those parts which are not.)

Author, film maker, public speaker, fact distorter, worker drone for the Democratic (nee Socialist) Party, and "homie" of Flint, Michigan (actually, he's from the upper suburb of Davison but that doesn't sound as blue-collar as claiming your hometown as Flint) sat down with us at mrssatan for an interview and we appreciate his time and offer in doing so:

Q: You're working on a new film about the health industry, can you tell us about it?
MM: Do you have anything to eat?

Q: No, uh, sorry, I don't - so can you tell us a bit about what you are working on?
MM: Are you sure you have nothing to eat around here?

Q: No, really sure of that.
MM: A piece of gum?

Q: No.
MM: A breath mint?

Q: Could we talk just a little about...
MM: Do you have any prescription or over the counter drugs I can chew on?

Q: No.
MM: Any hard candy?

Q: Um, no, sorry.
MM: Any candy bars in your brief case, or half a sandwich?

Q: No, sorry.
MM: Some chewing tobacco then?

Q: No.
MM: Can I use your cell phone to call out for pizza, I left both my phone and pizza in the limo.

Q: The battery died about an hour ago on it, sorry.
MM: So, like, there's no pieces of pizza crust, or toast, or even a dog treat, or a Pounce in your pocket?

Q: I'll check...nope, nothing to eat.
MM: Well, damn...I can just feel my blood sugar dropping to life threatening levels. I've got to get some food.

Q: I might have a rice cake or granola bar in my car.
MM: A Rice cake?!?! Granola bar?!?! Are you insane? I can't eat those things. They might kill me.

Q: I'm really sorry about that.
MM: What the hell kind of interview is this anyway? Shouldn't you have catered in a few courses of cheese trays, meats, surf 'n' turf, and Twinkies?

Q: Again, I'm awfully sorry about that.
MM: Chewing gum....damnit man, are you sure you don't have one slice of it on you?

Q: Quite sure, Mr. Moore.
MM: This interview is over!

Mr. Moore slowly stomped out of the room in search of high caloric foods. We at mrssatan wish him only the best in his endeavors.

(c) 2005

Thursday: Random Items

"I love to drink."

The story of a mayor who likes his gin: http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/nevada/2005/mar/03/030310250.html


More power to the mayor! Good for him.

Steve Fossett


I didn't care about Mr. Fossett when he tried around the world with a balloon, and I don't care about it now. Given the choice of reading, watching, or hearing anything about Mr. Fossett and his flight, OR watching a complete baseball game (which for me is analogous to a "level 10 migraine") - I'd easily, and with a smile on my face pick: the baseball game.



Some day, France should consider stepping into the 21st Century and install more air conditioning units, both central style and window, in their homes and the work-place. And the liberals....uh, I mean socialists (here in the U.S.) want to make "us" (the U.S.) more like Europe? Please, mix another pitcher of extra dry martinis, and crank up the AC.

(c) 2005

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Breaking News...Hamburger's Disappearing!

The Hamburgler

Michael Moore, the prime suspect.

Breaking News...
A series of hamburger disappearances throughout the country has suddenly jumped to the top of news items to cover. "Hamburgers are vanishing out of thin air, and there is no plausible explanation for it," said FBI Special Agent Rabbit Cunningham.

Initial reports were reported to local law authorities as recently as within the last hour according to a source who asked not to be identified, adding that it became a federal matter within the last few minutes. The alert level at Homeland Security remained unchanged.

"I bought a couple of cheeseburgers, and all of a sudden they're gone...vanished," reported Alan Vickerson of New York. Vickerson said after the initial shock of the cheeseburgers vanishing, he did notice a large, round, rotund man, wearing a baseball cap, waddling to a waiting curbside limousine.

Agent Cunningham is asking for any hamburger theft information or leads to be reported to local authorities.

(c) 2005

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

March Madness: Off To a Dean Start!

Screamin' Howard Dean


March 1, 2005
"They don't think tolerance is a virtue," Dean said, adding: "I'm not going to have these right-wingers throw away our right to be tolerant." And concluding his backyard speech with a litany of Democratic values, he added: "This is a struggle of good and evil. And we're the good."

When told of Dean's remarks, Derrick Sontag -- executive director of the Kansas Republican Party -- said he was "shocked." "My immediate reaction to that whole dialogue is, it's full of hatred," Sontag said. "The Democratic Party has elected a leader that's full of hatred."

Go ahead, click the link under Screamin' Howard and read the full article. I'll wait -- just click back here when you're done. Back already? Good for you!

Those of us who are independent/libertarian in our voting, and I'm speaking of those of us that may agree that President Bush may not have been the best overall candidate within a "pool" of conservative choices, between the choice of Bush or Kerry (and four years ago Bush or Gore) - "we" chose Bush; a wise choice on our part.

So we should all give the liberals, and democrats, and the uber-socialists a big round of applause. Thank you for Howard Dean, Al "I invented the internet" Gore, Senator Ted "Driver Skills Questionable" Kennedy, Senator Joe "Haven't my hair plugs come in great, they're a wispy eleven inches long from my forehead to the crown" Biden, Senator John "The Perfectly Coifed" Kerry, Senator Robert "ex Klansman" Byrd, and so many others for pushing the extreme leftist views into the forefront of the liberal (nee' socialist) agenda of their party.

We have to further thank Michael "The Obese One" Moore, and the Sharon Stones, and the Sean Penns and the Susan Sarandons for their media covered-vocalized-liberal slanted-spoutings for it is you who are responsible for: 99% of Precincts Reporting Bush 51%, 58,527,956 votes; Kerry 48%, 54,992,753 votes.

And we now go into March, with a major kick-off by the lefties, with Howard Dean. Keep at it guys, keep going in the direction you've been going in since you lost your multi-decade hold of Congress in 1994. Yes, push Mr. Dean into a camera lens every time you can, let him froth before the cameras with spittle flying from his mouth.


Give us MrsSatan every chance you get, standing in front of a microphone, speaking to the masses in her well crafted, s-l-o-w and d-e-l-i-b-e-r-a-t-e pace and tone of her hypnotic zombie inducing hex! She of course is speaking to those in the Michael Moore/Chevy Chase/Susan Sarandon/Sean Penn/Robert Altman crowd. They are cows, (some of them literally, hey Mr. Moore?), and mrssatan speaks to them, and through them.

Theirs is a political party that is intolerant of anything and any one who even dares disagree with them, let alone even question their motives. Maybe what once was a "moderate with leftward trends" party that may have belonged to our parents and grandparents wasn't so bad a party - I don't know, I'm not old enough to know for what the "old (liberal) Democratic Party Platform" stood. Now, I know what it's about, and I prefer to play on the other side of the political street with plenty who think the same.
(c) 2005

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