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Thursday, March 03, 2005

Michael Moore Interview

(Disclaimer: All of the following is true, except for those parts which are not.)



Author, film maker, public speaker, fact distorter, worker drone for the Democratic (nee Socialist) Party, and "homie" of Flint, Michigan (actually, he's from the upper suburb of Davison but that doesn't sound as blue-collar as claiming your hometown as Flint) sat down with us at mrssatan for an interview and we appreciate his time and offer in doing so:

Q: You're working on a new film about the health industry, can you tell us about it?
MM: Do you have anything to eat?

Q: No, uh, sorry, I don't - so can you tell us a bit about what you are working on?
MM: Are you sure you have nothing to eat around here?

Q: No, really sure of that.
MM: A piece of gum?

Q: No.
MM: A breath mint?


Q: Could we talk just a little about...
MM: Do you have any prescription or over the counter drugs I can chew on?

Q: No.
MM: Any hard candy?

Q: Um, no, sorry.
MM: Any candy bars in your brief case, or half a sandwich?

Q: No, sorry.
MM: Some chewing tobacco then?

Q: No.
MM: Can I use your cell phone to call out for pizza, I left both my phone and pizza in the limo.

Q: The battery died about an hour ago on it, sorry.
MM: So, like, there's no pieces of pizza crust, or toast, or even a dog treat, or a Pounce in your pocket?

Q: I'll check...nope, nothing to eat.
MM: Well, damn...I can just feel my blood sugar dropping to life threatening levels. I've got to get some food.

Q: I might have a rice cake or granola bar in my car.
MM: A Rice cake?!?! Granola bar?!?! Are you insane? I can't eat those things. They might kill me.

Q: I'm really sorry about that.
MM: What the hell kind of interview is this anyway? Shouldn't you have catered in a few courses of cheese trays, meats, surf 'n' turf, and Twinkies?

Q: Again, I'm awfully sorry about that.
MM: Chewing gum....damnit man, are you sure you don't have one slice of it on you?

Q: Quite sure, Mr. Moore.
MM: This interview is over!

Mr. Moore slowly stomped out of the room in search of high caloric foods. We at mrssatan wish him only the best in his endeavors.

(c) 2005


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