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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Send In The Clowns Trolls!

Liberals are such a tolerant bunch. Except when it comes to tolerating views different than their own. Then they result to name calling, insulting religious beliefs and immediately resorting to personal attacks.

One can never take the comments of Liberals too seriously. They have an amazing and copious lack of facts, history and knowledge. They make up for lacking these qualities by a steadfast mentality of "what they believe is true", even when their beliefs are easily proven wrong.

With their extra-large Tin Foil Hats in place, they pretend to have insight and knowledge in subjects of which they are clueless. Religion ranks highly in their complete lack of knowledge. However, "Bush is wrong" and "Republicans are evil and/or corrupt and/or fascists" ranks as their number one shrill and unfounded complaint.

They do not apply the standard they set for others to themselves.

No, it is the rare Liberal indeed, that one can engage in an intelligent discussion or have a rational exchange of ideas.

But we have to be thankful for these Liberals and the endless hours of entertainment they provide. They make us laugh, they prove their ignorance time and time again and they are a gift that keeps on giving when it comes to making the rest of us feel superior and contributing to our healthy self-esteem.

With the above said, I have the following comments to say about those special little, closed-minded individuals at "ThinkRegress":

Worfeus - I bet you were a D or D-minus student provided of course, that you're not still in high school, or maybe grade school? You were held back a grade, more than once, weren't you?

Worfeus - Comment # 81: "pharisical" isn't a word. I could tell you how to spell it correctly, but why correct your ignorance. You should remain ignorant. That way people can't possibly take your writing and opinions too seriously.

"Comprable" isn't a word either, Worfeus, unless you are using some secret and arcane language that is unknown to the rest of the world.

Your atrocious spelling diminishes your feeble attempts at making a point, making your comments laughable and ones that are easily discarded - uh, discarded means to throw away, as in to throw away garbage. You live in the basement of your mom and dad's house - or above their garage - surrounded by "Star Trek" memorabilia, don't you?

Worfeus - comment # 136, says "And as for my spelling, sorry I don't use a spell checker."

As I responded in a follow up comment to you, you don't need a spell checker, just a rudimentary and basic grasp of elemental education in grammar and spelling. But like I wrote above, your report card was probably chock full of D's or D-minuses. How many times were you required to attend Summer School? Will you be attending this summer as well?

Clif - comment # 123 - "That raid (WACO) was initially planned during the Bush 43 watch and the raid occured [sic] On [sic] February 28, 1993, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) raided Mount Carmel, resulting in the deaths of four agents and six Davidians. Janet Reno took office March 11, 1993, thus the situation was already out of control BEFORE she got there."

You are so historically wrong it's sad. Buy a history book. Start with a children's history book - maybe one only with pictures and later work your way up to one for adults, you know, the kind of book with words.

You are right in that Mr. Reno was not confirmed until 3/11/93 (hey Clif, even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then!), but it certainly isn't beyond reason that she was involved in what went down in Waco prior to her confirmation.

Clif - same comment # as above: "That raid (WACO) was initially planned during the Bush 43 [presidency]." Clif, not only do you suck at spelling (see comment #140 immediately below this one) but you fail with numbers as well.

"Bush 43" was responsible for the Branch Davidian/WACO slaughter?

In order for
Bush 43 to have planned the Branch Davidian fiasco, "W" would have to travel back in time to 1993. Bush 43 was working with the Clinton Administration then? You're a regular mental midget, aren't you Clif?

Clif - comment #140: "yopurs", "initialk", "equiped", "warrEnt"?, "Accwept"?

Clif, are those actual words? What language is that - do tell. You were held back a grade or two in school too, right? Are you Worfeus' roommate, living in "Star Trek" fantasy land?

Clif, same comment # 140: "[you] just had to make a [']Clinton did it too['] comment". Yeah, it was incumbent (big word for you, I know, ask your Mommy what it means) of me to mention Clinton. For the U.S. will be paying for decades having to undo the misdeeds of his excreable two terms.

btruthful: you have to be a woman with a cutesy little "handle" like "btruthful", right? Raging irrational emotion and "feelings" permeate every one of your comments. What's it like to have estrogen-driven rhetoric replace any semblance of factual reasoning? Do you have any original thoughts or just parrot the other Liberal commentors? btruthful wanna cracker, Bwwwwwaaaacccck!

While the Left takes nothing said by Bush, Cheney or any other republican or conservative at face value, they stampede to a conclusion in never questioning or doubting anything said by John Murtha, Harry Reid, John Kerry, Al Gore - you know the "name drill" by now.

While the Left automatically labels anyone disagreeing with them as a Ditto Head, a Hannity Head or a Coulter Clone, they fail to recognize and admit that the sources of their rhetoric is from the likes Randi Rhodes, Al O'FrankenFailure and the decrepit rotting corpse known as Mike Malloy.

The difference, and I can speak for myself and others that I know, is that if we hear something from Rush, Hannity, Coulter or Savage - we search out other information sources on the topic or issue before putting it to print or jumping to the conclusion that it must be true.

Liberals, on the other hand, take what they hear from their propaganda leaders as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, without putting in any time to research it.

Want examples? Here's a few:

* "Rove will be indicted for perjury within 24 hours," the famous, and thus far inaccurate prediction by Jason Leopold. Well, it's been almost three weeks. And you liberal bloggers ran with his story without any factual basis backing it up, didn't you? My, you must be proud of how accurate and solid your information source is. Have you posted an "I Was Wrong" piece yet? I'd imagine not.

* How about hanging Tom DeLay out to dry before he even had a chance to appear in court? And what about the fact that now, many of the charges against him have been dropped? Any retraction by you liberal bloggers on those dropped charges? I'd imagine not.

* How about that prediction by Liberal Icon Bill Press that "within six months, the Newsweek-Koran story will be proven to be true,"? Well, it didn't prove accurate within his own stated timeframe and today, six months later, it still doesn't hold true, does it?

* What about John Kerry saying he will fully release and disclose all of his military records? Has he done that yet or is he waiting for his presidential run in 2008 to do so?

What you're doing with Haditha is rushing to judgment, for nothing more than political reasons, before the facts are known and an investigation is completed. Today's top of the hour news (about an hour ago) stated there hasn't been any first-hand witnesses of what happened in Haditha. Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't. But the Liberace Liberal Crowd can't even extend the benefit of doubt to the military.

Damn it's funny, because this is the same crowd that preaches to others to "wait until all the facts are in", "wait until all the information is known", "wait until the investigation is complete". Yeah, but not when it comes to anyone, any organization or situation that you prefer to use as a desperate attempt to regain a political foothold. You're pathetic.

There's a saying among people who go through any type of treatment for chemical addiction. It goes, "if you throw enough sh*t against the wall, some of it will eventually stick."

The problem with Liberals is that they just keep throwing and throwing and throwing, yet nothing sticks. And when they see that it's not sticking, they throw more and more in vain, desperately hoping that some will stick. But it never does. They're afraid to go back and say, "sorry, it didn't stick". Instead, they just move forward (backward?) and throw some more.

And this is why the majority of you Liberals out there are nothing but a laughing stock, an endless source of material for those of us who easily poke holes in your inaccurate knowledge of history, your flawed, bogus and deceitful "facts" and your insincere attempts in blaming anything that goes wrong on your political opposition.

Send In The Clowns Trolls...Don't Bother, They're Here! Or, rather, they're at ThinkRegress.



Over 70 Americans Killed By Government

Over seventy Americans killed by their own government.

Over twenty of them were children.

Most of them were unarmed and defenseless.

They were killed "in cold blood" by their own government on their own land, here, in the United States.

Where was John Murtha then?

Where was his outrage?

Why, he's not even on record as registering any outrage at what happened to the Branch Davidians in Waco Texas.

The Grandstanding John Murtha

* With the facts far from all being "in", John Murtha anoints himself Judge and Jury of Haditha incident.

* Murtha says he "KNOWS there is a [Haditha] cover-up."

* Senator John Warner tells Murtha to back off.

Additional Reading and Information Sources on Waco/Branch Davidians:
CNN: FBI wanted clearance to shoot unarmed Branch Davidians
The Waco Massacre
Waco Report DOES NOT ABSOLVE Government
Waco Raid and Siege


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Television Programs Aren't Loud Enough!

Are you at all like me and find most television programs just to quiet? There's not enough screaming, whistling, hoo-hoo-hoo chanting and feigned applause to feed the lack-of-noise-void in my life.

Therefore, and the following is copyrighted so if any TV or cable network steals my mindblowingly fantastic idea, I'll be pursuing you with a lawsuit for Big Dolla's:

There needs to be a one hour program, preferably aired every night, that consists of nothing but wild and loud screaming by its audience. The audience should whistle constantly and, in a throwback or homage to the Arsenio Hall audience, the audience should offer repeated hoo-hoo-hoo chants.

The audience should also applaud wildly, for no reason other than to make noise.

Add: Deep, baritone screams from the men, and high-pitched "I can't believe I'm seeing the Beatles"-like screams from the ladies.

The noise fest should never drop below 150 decibels.

Stay Tuned For The Screaming Show:

Fade In:

Announcer: "Welcome to The Screaming Show!"

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Commercial Break

Back From Commercials:

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Bottom of the Hour Commercial Breaks

Back From Commercials:

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Commercial Break

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Show ends, credits roll while wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling and hoo-hoo-hooing continues.

Announcer: "Join us again tomorrow night for The Screaming Show".

It's a great idea, isn't it?

And to think three studios turned down my screenplay about a kindly, dyslexic, septuagenarian grandmother who, during full moons, turns into a zombie-wolf with an appetite for blood, brains, beer and Liberals.



** If this Photo doesn't leave a lump in your throat or make you a little misty-eyed, then something is wrong with you.
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** Someone Has A Bone To Pick With Google.
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** Check out Bryan's new Image at the Top of His Blog. I like it, and personally Bryan, I'm glad to see the skull is back!
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** What fun would blogging be if it were not for the occasional Gushing E-Mail of Loooooooooooooooooooooove?
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** Heart Healthy Pigs......um.....okay?! I don't think so.
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** One of These Folks is not like the other, one of these folks just doesn't belong.....
. Can you guess who doesn't belong? (Hint: He's a long time cast member of "The Simpsons").
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** Did you know that Your mullah don't dance and Mohammad don't rock and roll....?

One Hit News

** Another Stabbing in the UK:
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** The "CULT" - as I call them - had the nerve to Show up at Arlington today:

Good for you and your group, Ms. Taylor!
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** Backlash Against Animal Rights Protestors:

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** Internet Downloading of Naughty Stuff HITS ALL TIME HIGH:

The study also found that Women are among the fastest growing group surfing for...naughty stuff!

HNN: Hillary News Network™© (or: What's MrsSatan Up To Now?)

Warning: Sections of this post contain profanity and racial remarks used in their original quotes and context.
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Not a lot of support out there for the She-Devil, MrsSatan, is there?

Why, an ABC Poll (and we all know how reliable Liberals deem an ABC Poll), showed that only 19% of those polled would vote for her.
G A S P !

Further, an astounding 42% said they would never vote for her in 2008 for her White House bid!
G A S P !

The poll resulted in the unfathomable conclusion that:

G A S P!

I wonder why the cuntess from Arkansas is polling so poorly? Are people finally wising up to the Shrew From The Ninth Level of Hell? Could her phoniness and duplicity finally be as transparent to the people polled as the rest of us have known all along?

You know, I have some questions for MrsSatan that maybe Tim Russert, Bob Schiefer, George Stephanopoulos, "Baby" David Gregory, Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper could ask her:

Why would Arkansas state trooper and Clinton bodyguard from 1986 to 1993, Larry Patterson, among others including Dick Morris and other campaign aids say she used the following words if she never did:

Wow...MrsSatan certainly has the racist potty mouth, yes? And to think I get an occasional comment or e-mail when I call her "cuntess"! Why, her words would make Eric Cartman blush with embarrassment!

Why would this information go unreported by the Main Stream Media?

Those, who in the past, attempted to tell the truth about the Clintons seem to have untimely deaths and strange circumstances surrounding their deaths. Maybe those at NBC who kept mum enjoy living too much.

Oh, David Drake, you are citing only one example, cry the supporters of holier than thou, MrsSatan. Uh, okay...here's another: the book "American Evita", which also substantiates the foul mouthed MrsSatan.

Jonah Goldberg seems to believe MrsSatan has a gutter-anti-Semitic mouth.

Oh, but there's always those in the L' Chaim Corner ready to defend her. The below from HERE:

Oh, uh, okay Ed. Why, I didn't know anti-Semitism had a statute of limitations on it. I guess by your definition you're ready to forgive and embrace Mr. Hitler, then? Perhaps you consider Mahmoud Ahmadinejad your pal? Does Patrick Buchanan get the same exemption as MrsSatan, because whenever he ran for president the Jewish Lobby very vocally called him an "anti-Semite"? Koch = hypocrite.


Well, what does it take, then, Abe? Gas chambers, showers and ovens? Not to mention the fact that there seems to be plenty in the public record that contradicts the past 26 years that you cite!

At the time of the statements from both Koch and Foxman, maybe they apply a time limit term of 26 years being the statute of limitation on using inflammatory and anti-Jewish language? That's funny, Abe, because your web site doesn't reflect anything like that.

Maybe Koch and Foxman don't want to end up like Kevin Ives and Don Henry?

MrsSatan...beloved by all? A duplicitous wench? A pathological liar? A Jew-Hater?

Stay tuned to the HNN™© for future updates on her!

MrsSatan: She changes right before your eyes!


Additional Reading:
Abe Foxman, Marc Richards and Bill Clinton, (Moe, Larry and Curly?)
Foxman says Mel Gibson "infected with anti-Semitism", But Hillary isn't?
Arkancide, How people close to the Clinton's somehow die so frequently.
Bill Clinton's Skeleton Closet

Monday, May 29, 2006

Every Day Should Be Memorial Day

For the Veterans who served yesterday,
And for the Veterans who serve today,
And for the Veterans who will serve tomorrow :

We have you to Thank for our Freedom, and only You.

The Veteran, a person who left family and friends behind, fully aware they may never see those people again, to serve their country.

Veterans, who believed then, and believe today, that their service to our country is for the betterment of all mankind.

While we can try to write our appreciation for all that the Veterans have done and continue to do, no amount of words can do justice to them or for them.

Memorial Day should be every day. And just because it appears on the calendar once per year, does not mean we should not treat the other 364 days any differently.

Every day is Memorial Day, whether the calendar says so or not.

Thank You Veterans, for our Freedom.

May you and your families be Blessed above and beyond what any words can convey.

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Other Notable Memorial Day Posts:
Memorial Day, 2006
They Fight For Freedom
Liberty Is Never Free of Costs
The History of Memorial Day
Memorial Day Thoughts by Rich
Memorial Day Thoughts by Guy


Sunday, May 28, 2006

I, STADIUM Part 8: This Is Not A Stadium Post, or, Sweet Jesus, I Hate Sid Hartman!

I missed the following story because I normally don't buy the Minneapolis Red Star Tribune except on Sunday.

Kate Parry is their reader representative. In her column today , "Hartman column was wrong about Sen. Ranum", she writes:

A simple telephone call by Hartman to Ranum's office would have avoided his ugly and incorrect assumption. But the heck with doing the right thing, right Sid? Go with your unchecked and unverified assumption.

"I think I'm right," is a far cry from being factual, but, the heck with doing the right thing because how could something you believe possibly be wrong:
Sure seems to me that Sid The Shill's focus is on the four politicians he named, not the whole Legislature. Most of what Sid thinks is true, in his pointy little pinhead, is far more often false than it is true. Sid wouldn't know the difference between a Praying Mantis and a Praying Nun.

Apologize to Ms. Ranum and her husband, Sid? The heck with doing the right thing.

"The heck with doing the right thing," right Sid? Why bother doing any fact checking on an issue so long ago, in January of this year, right Sid?

Sid Hartman is a crusty, old and bitter man. One of the reasons he is bitter is because some politicians and most taxpayers don't want to play his game of being the bank for his precious little baseball team, the Minnesota Twins and its owner BILLIONAIRE Carl Pohlad. Hartman has been a shill for Pohlad and publicly financed stadiums for decades.

Crusty, Old and Bitter: Sid "The Pinhead Shill" Hartman

Stating vast, unchecked and non-factual assumptions is what Sid The Shill does best. In his column today he reasserts an assumption that he wrote two weeks ago:

What crime studies have you researched to come to that conclusion Shill Boy?

And if what you say is accurate and true, then tell me, why over the last two decades, has the city of Minneapolis experienced so much crime?

Why let facts get in the way of writing your "factual assumptions"? The heck with doing the right thing, you're just concerned about your precious baseball team and its BILLIONAIRE owner.

Sid The Shill continues:

What you mean, of course, is the results you'd like to see would be easy to get simply by determining what you want your preconceived results to be and then asking skewed questions to reflect the end results that you originally had in mind. Not to mention that what The Shill "believes" and what is factually correct are frequently not the same thing!

But the heck with doing the right thing, you're just concerned about your precious Twins team.

And by the way, don't the Twins already have a roof...in the Metrodome? Huh, how about that!

Now, I'm no fan or supporter of Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, not by any stretch of the imagination. But I don't live in Minneapolis, so, for the most part, what Rybak and the Minneapolis City Council does or doesn't do, does not dramatically affect me or my life.

But Sid The Shill, crusty, old and bitter man that he is, just doesn't like anyone or anything that doesn't agree with his "beliefs" or his pinhead "assumptions":

Hmmmmmmmm, while I was not in favor of taxpayer money being funneled into the Shubert Theater, the amount is a fraction of what Hennepin County taxpayers are stuck with compared to the corporate welfare given to the Twins and BILLIONAIRE owner Pohlad.

Apparently Sid The shill doesn't take into consideration that there is a group of people who may prefer the arts rather than sitting around and watching a group of steroid injected, multi- millionaire athletes hitting a little white ball with a stick of wood!

Nor does Sid The Shill consider that arts and humanities has contributed more to the world and society, as a historic whole, than all of the sporting world combined.

Nor does Sid The Shill consider that perhaps the mentality of Mayor Rybak and the city council was one of letting private enterprise and its billionaire owner pay for their own home with their own money.

The heck with doing the right thing.

Doing the right thing means having an objective outlook on what is best for the largest group of people, of taxpayers and of those less fortunate. None of this enters into your myopic, baseball-centric mind though, does it Shill Boy?

Sid says damn those facts, polls, research and feasibility studies. He thinks he's right, even when all prevailing facts and data prove him shockingly and disturbingly wrong:

To date, Sid The Shill has not apologized to Ms. Ranum, her husband Jim, their family and for his erroneous and asinine assertion that she voted the way she did only in order to get reelected.

Why is that, Sid?

Tell me again, why?
The heck with doing the right thing. The heck with it.

The Shills' Column is located Here, free registration required.

If you think THE SHILL should apologize for his factless column, e-mail him and tell him so: shartman@startribune.com
Previous Posts On The Stadium Issue:
I, STADIUM Part 7: Did You Have Enough To Eat?
I, STADIUM Part 6: No Voter Referendum, Welfare for Billionaire Pohlad, Session Closed
I, STADIUM Part 5: Why Sid Hartman Is A Dumbass
I, STADIUM Part 4: Enter "THE LIAR"

I, STADIUM Part 3: Failed Arguments For Taxpayer Assisted Ballparks

I, STADIUM Part 2: Senate Bill S.F. 2297


Minnesota Twin Stadium: Why Should Carl Pohlad Pay His Fair Share?

Labels: , ,

Saturday, May 27, 2006

MrsSatan: The Cure-All

Well, MrsSatan certainly seems to be the panacea to whatever is ailing the country, the human race and the planet - whether the ailing is real or, as I think, imagined.

Her Senate re-election is Off To Its Start with an 18 minute video. One odd thing - strange - very strange, is that those who have seen it say it makes no mention of her past as First Lady or her ambitions for the White House in 2008:

Um, I actually kind of think of her as a lioness eating little children, but that's beside the point...or is it?

Awww shucks, po' Lil MizzSatan is so meek and demure she couldn't handle Rick Lazio "looming over her"? Po' baby. Maybe she's just not cut out for politics. Why, if MrsSatan went one-on-one with a 12-foot Florida alligator, the poor alligator wouldn't have a chance. She'd rip the poor reptile from head to toe in a matter of seconds.

What else is Beelzebub's favorite, dyed blond Whore up to these days? Well, she talks as if she knows something about the economy, but what she is really laying out is the blueprint for her idea of "Taking things away from us for the Common Good

From the Taipei Times linked item:

Well, things could have been done to explore our domestic energy (read: oil), but she voted against that.

And as far as "violating our common values...", lady, you don't have any common values.

And nice toss in, as usual, of bringing out "THE CHILDREN". For this world would be a blackened, burned crisp of an orb if it were not for the Liberal Induced Guilt of the phrase, "THE CHILDREN", wouldn't it?

And, all of a sudden the Heathen From Hell's Darkest Level is PRO-Ethanol.

We all know she was adamantly against ethanol...before she was for it:

Here's a short little movie to watch. Don't be offended or scared by her likeness on a crucifix. After that short quote the movie segues into real footage of her LIES and PROPAGANDA.

The movie is part of a fine site called Delete Hillary.

I only wish my Delete Button could indeed accomplish that task.

MrsSatan: "Mr. Drake, you indicated you didn't have anything to write about today!"
Mr. Drake: "Ah, my little Princess of Darkness, as long as you have political ambitions, there will always be something to write about!"


Friday, May 26, 2006

MrsSatan & John Kerry: Seeking The Felon Voting Bloc!

Always looking to expand their Liberal voting base, MrsSatan and LOSING presidential Commicratic candidate John Kerry (who, just in case you were not aware of it, served in Viet Nam) are pushing for approval of a bill that will restore voting rights for felons:
Well, why would MrsSatan and Mr. Kerry care about what a majority of Americans oppose?

Voting for felons. What's next...voting rights for chimpanzees, snails and jack rabbits?

Restoring voting rights for felons...THIS is your democratic party, people. Why, aren't you proud to be a Liberal?

MrsSatan: "Think of all the votes we can get...maybe our party can win an election, John!"
John: "You know, I served in Viet Nam."
MrsSatan: "Yes, so you've mentioned."
John: "Well, let me tell you my plan..."


Why Do You Think They Call It "Scooby Snacks"?

When a teacher asked a 6-year-old boy to pull a folder out of his Scooby-Doo backpack earlier this week, a bag filled with 25 smaller bags of marijuana fell out, court document said.
And tonight, that school administrator is toked up out of his mind....(joke, joke, joke).

"Ruh-Oh...rhose don't rook rike crayons...."



Fat Eddy Schultz: "Happy Dog Shootin' Memorial Day Weekend!"

How is Liberal Talking Head, the often inebriated Fat Eddy Schultz, spending Memorial Day Weekend?

Click on the > button and give it a listen:

Fat Eddy Says: "If yer not huntin' drunk, it just ain't huntin'!"

Dog Shooting History
HERE. And HERE, too, but take notice one of the story links - the second one - has been suspiciously removed from its host. Hmmmmmm, what's up with that, Eddy?

All voice are impersonated. Or...



Thursday, May 25, 2006

One Hit News

** British terror cell talked of blowing up London's Ministry of Sound nightclub:
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** Cloaking Device One Step Closer To Being A Reality:
Bubba Clinton rumor has him asking for cloaking abilities, "so I can move about freely in the ladies' shower at the gym."
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** U.K. Magistrates rule Nude sunbather broke no laws:
Bubba Clinton rumor has him shopping for real estate in the neighborhood.
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** Study finds No link between marijuana smoking and lung cancer:
Bill Clinton asks, "Can I inhale, now?"
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** Actress Cate Blanchett To Play Bob Dylan in biopic.
In related news, a steaming pile of shit will portray Liberal Radio Talking Head, The Rapidly Aging Corpse of Mike Malloy, in new biopic.

Steaming Pile of Shit / Aging Corpse Malloy


The Further Adventures of UnderGore!

The saga of UnderGore continues:

Al Gore says global warming is a reality, but a Climate Scientist doesn't necessarily agree with "Professor of Earth Sciences Gore".

So much of the above contradicts "The Albert Gore, Jr. Movie", it's no surprise that Professor Gore failed to mention it. And animated polar bears, Albert...C'mon!

Have you watched the short film of Albert Gore, Jr., and Company spewing CO2 around the globe? It's fantastic. It's the one titled: "Special web-only bonus, on the occasion of the release of An Inconvenient Truth: Al Gore's Big, Fat Carbon Footprint."

Why is it elitists like Gore and Company want to reserve their airplanes and SUV's for only themselves, asking the rest of us to be the ones that sacrifice?

There is dispute whether or not Gore and Company walked or took a SUV motorcade. One thing is certain, while he may have walked somewhere, he did travel by SUV motorcade to the Cannes festival, when he could have walked.

**Tipper and Albert Gore, Jr.

The Al Gore's

(Sung to the theme song of "The Flintstones"):

Al Gore's, meet the Al Gore's, they're a modern-day age family
Polluting the globe with CO2
From their private jets and SUV's

Someday, maybe Al will be the President
But more likely, just another U.S. resident

When you're with the Al Gore's
You'll have a pollutin' hootin' boring time,
An all out boring time,
A pollutin', hootin' boring time!

"There's no need to fear global warming, why, UnderGore is swarming!"

Full Size Click Here


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

HNN: Hillary News Network™© (or: What's MrsSatan Up To Now?)

HNN reports that MrsSatan is promoting funding for the education and health care of illegal immigrants:
That's wonderful proposed legislation from the Mistress of Hell, isn't it? Who knew the Federal Government had sooooooooooo much money sitting around that they could just allocate it for the illegal immigration problem and funnel it to the states.

And MrsSatan has a wonderfully proactive way to combat the energy "crisis". Her brilliant idea is for us To return to the 55 Mile Per Hour Speed Limit:

Why, she's taking a page right out of playbook of that Super Duper President Who Wore A Sweater To Stay Warm, Jim-mah Kah-ter. I think she should duplicate all of Kah-ter's policies, don't you? Why, I bet by doing so, she'll be a shoo-in for the White House in 2008.

And you can't go wrong proposing huge taxes on oil and energy companies, can you:

Gee, those companies would never pass the cost of those new taxes onto the consumer, would they? Why, MrsSatan is the most intelligent woman of all-time, isn't she!

And MrsSatan proposes one-billion-dollars for research on cellulose ethanol.

Is cellulose like cellulite? Because if it is, hundreds of thousands of cars could be fueled by the cellulite in her thighs, legs and wide, wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide ass:

But wait just a minute...wasn't she against this type of alternative fuel in the past?
Well, leave it to MrsSatan to do what is politically expedient.

MrsSatan: All things to all people depending on the issue of the moment. Why, she has strong, consistent and long held beliefs, doesn't she?

Will she be re-elected by New Yorkers this year to return to the Senate?

Will you vote for her for president in 2008?

Stay tuned to this blog for future news and reports from the HNN

MrsSatan: Currently seen wearing a faux halo, courting the religious vote.


I, STADIUM Part 7: "Did You Have Enough To Eat?"

I'm sure much to the dismay of commenter Nico, who has registered his displeasure with my ongoing I, STADIUM posts, I have another to add to this series. Sorry, Nico, but this should be the final post. But don't bet on it 'cuz 'ya never know.

Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty will sign and approve the Bill providing Welfare For Twins Owner Billionaire Carl Pohlad this Friday evening, just prior to the start of the Twins - Seattle Mariner game.

Now, are you seated? In a big comfy chair? Perhaps you should toss a pillow or two down on the floor in case you fall off the big, comfy chair. I don't want you to hurt yourselves:

Ready: Every fan in attendance will get a voucher for a free hot dog and a small soft drink!

Geezus Keeeey-Riiiist, Carl, are you sure that free hot dog and soft drink won't push you into filing bankruptcy? Are you sure that's in your budget? Did your team of accountants give the AOK to this expenditure? It won't set you back so far financially that you'll come begging to the legislature for more money next year, will it?

I'm sure the hot dogs will be the healthy, nutritious, kind made with only the finest ingredients as opposed to those made from hooves, tails, entrails and snouts.

And the free small soft drink? Why, that should quaff even the most parched Twins fan. Don't accidentally drown in that free small soft drink, there, all you Twins fans.

I don't know, Carl, putting out that kind of money...a free hot dog and a free small soda...is that included in the $392 Million Dollars taxpayer subsidy for your brand new $522 Million Dollar Stadium, of which you're only ponying up $130 Million?

It's only Wednesday, you still have time to withdraw the free hot dog and soft drink offer. I wouldn't want to see you parked near the off-ramp, in your wheelchair, holding a sign reading, "Will Make Threats For New Stadium" sign.

Make sure you have your Little Eichman, Twins President Jerry Bell, nearby so he can pre-chew your hot dog for you. We wouldn't want you to choke to death on it.
You probably won't be eating a hot dog, will you?

Carl, you'll be seated in your owner's luxury suite with a full menu available of only the finest and delectable foods for you and your mega-wealthy buddies and the politicians that rammed this tax increase through for you. Senator Larry Pogemiller and Representative Brad Finstad will be on hand to change your adult diaper, wipe your ass and dab away the drool. And your buddy dumbass Sid Hartman will be there to tell you what a great guy and leader you are.

So, all it takes is a threat to move the team to another state and a free hot dog and small soft drink to fool the Twins fans and their political supporters?


BILLIONAIRE Twins Owner Carl Pohlad, 90-years young


Previous Posts On The Stadium Issue:
I, STADIUM Part 6: No Voter Referendum, Welfare for Billionaire Pohlad, Session Closed
I, STADIUM Part 5: Why Sid Hartman Is A Dumbass
I, STADIUM Part 4: Enter "THE LIAR"
I, STADIUM Part 3: Failed Arguments For Taxpayer Assisted Ballparks
I, STADIUM Part 2: Senate Bill S.F. 2297
Minnesota Twin Stadium: Why Should Carl Pohlad Pay His Fair Share?

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