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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

HNN: Hillary News Network™© (or: What's MrsSatan Up To Now?)

HNN reports that MrsSatan is promoting funding for the education and health care of illegal immigrants:
That's wonderful proposed legislation from the Mistress of Hell, isn't it? Who knew the Federal Government had sooooooooooo much money sitting around that they could just allocate it for the illegal immigration problem and funnel it to the states.

And MrsSatan has a wonderfully proactive way to combat the energy "crisis". Her brilliant idea is for us To return to the 55 Mile Per Hour Speed Limit:

Why, she's taking a page right out of playbook of that Super Duper President Who Wore A Sweater To Stay Warm, Jim-mah Kah-ter. I think she should duplicate all of Kah-ter's policies, don't you? Why, I bet by doing so, she'll be a shoo-in for the White House in 2008.

And you can't go wrong proposing huge taxes on oil and energy companies, can you:

Gee, those companies would never pass the cost of those new taxes onto the consumer, would they? Why, MrsSatan is the most intelligent woman of all-time, isn't she!

And MrsSatan proposes one-billion-dollars for research on cellulose ethanol.

Is cellulose like cellulite? Because if it is, hundreds of thousands of cars could be fueled by the cellulite in her thighs, legs and wide, wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide ass:

But wait just a minute...wasn't she against this type of alternative fuel in the past?
Well, leave it to MrsSatan to do what is politically expedient.

MrsSatan: All things to all people depending on the issue of the moment. Why, she has strong, consistent and long held beliefs, doesn't she?

Will she be re-elected by New Yorkers this year to return to the Senate?

Will you vote for her for president in 2008?

Stay tuned to this blog for future news and reports from the HNN
©.


MrsSatan: Currently seen wearing a faux halo, courting the religious vote.

©2006

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