Wednesday, May 24, 2006
HNN: Hillary News Network™© (or: What's MrsSatan Up To Now?)
"My amendment addresses one of the clearest examples of this neglect because our failed national immigration policy has left our state and local governments to bear the brunt of the costs of immigration. Our schools, our hospitals, our other state and local services are being strained."
The former first lady said her plan would direct funds to state criminal alien assistance programs to offset the costs of illegal aliens who continue to break the law after they enter the U.S. - and establish a program that provides financial assistance to state and local governments for the cost of health and educational services related to immigration.
And MrsSatan has a wonderfully proactive way to combat the energy "crisis". Her brilliant idea is for us To return to the 55 Mile Per Hour Speed Limit:
"The 55-mile speed limit really does lower gas usage. And wherever it can be required, and the people will accept it, we ought to do it," Clinton said at the National Press Club.
And you can't go wrong proposing huge taxes on oil and energy companies, can you:
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton yesterday called for a two-year tax on oil company profits to help amass $50 billion for the creation of an energy research fund, saying dependence on foreign oil weakens national security.
"We need to reform our energy taxes so that large oil companies who reap huge benefits from unexpectedly high energy prices over the next two years will be required to pay a portion of their profits into the strategic energy fund,"[said MrsSatan].
And MrsSatan proposes one-billion-dollars for research on cellulose ethanol.
Is cellulose like cellulite? Because if it is, hundreds of thousands of cars could be fueled by the cellulite in her thighs, legs and wide, wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide ass:
The New York Democrat called for $1 billion for research on making ethanol from plant cellulose, the fibrous stuff found in everything from corn stalks to wheat straw, grass and wood. Ethanol is now made almost exclusively from grain.
"We have the capacity to make nearly 4.5 billion gallons of ethanol, but that is a long way from helping us deal with our gas problems," [said MrsSatan].
Cullen Sheehan, executive director of the Iowa Republican Party, accused Clinton of "transparent pandering" to Iowa, home of the caucuses that kick off the presidential nomination process.
"Iowans remember her anti-ethanol past and are looking for strong leaders who won't run from their record and change positions whenever it's politically expedient," he said.
MrsSatan: All things to all people depending on the issue of the moment. Why, she has strong, consistent and long held beliefs, doesn't she?
Will she be re-elected by New Yorkers this year to return to the Senate?
Will you vote for her for president in 2008?
Stay tuned to this blog for future news and reports from the HNN™©.
MrsSatan: Currently seen wearing a faux halo, courting the religious vote.
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