.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Television Programs Aren't Loud Enough!

Are you at all like me and find most television programs just to quiet? There's not enough screaming, whistling, hoo-hoo-hoo chanting and feigned applause to feed the lack-of-noise-void in my life.

Therefore, and the following is copyrighted so if any TV or cable network steals my mindblowingly fantastic idea, I'll be pursuing you with a lawsuit for Big Dolla's:

There needs to be a one hour program, preferably aired every night, that consists of nothing but wild and loud screaming by its audience. The audience should whistle constantly and, in a throwback or homage to the Arsenio Hall audience, the audience should offer repeated hoo-hoo-hoo chants.

The audience should also applaud wildly, for no reason other than to make noise.

Add: Deep, baritone screams from the men, and high-pitched "I can't believe I'm seeing the Beatles"-like screams from the ladies.

The noise fest should never drop below 150 decibels.

Stay Tuned For The Screaming Show:

Fade In:

Announcer: "Welcome to The Screaming Show!"

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Commercial Break

Back From Commercials:

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Bottom of the Hour Commercial Breaks

Back From Commercials:

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Commercial Break

Audio: Wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling, and hoo-hoo-hooing. Continues for 12 and one-half minutes.

Show ends, credits roll while wild, loud, insane screaming, applause, whistling and hoo-hoo-hooing continues.

Announcer: "Join us again tomorrow night for The Screaming Show".

It's a great idea, isn't it?

And to think three studios turned down my screenplay about a kindly, dyslexic, septuagenarian grandmother who, during full moons, turns into a zombie-wolf with an appetite for blood, brains, beer and Liberals.

©2006

Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker



Web Site Traffic Counters
Alabama Internet

Listed on BlogShares

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

This site uses photographs and material from other sources in strict
accordance and compliance with Fair Use Section 107 U.S. Copyright Code.
All other images and content © 2005-2009 David Drake.
Not responsible for content contained at linked sites.

Policy on commenting:
- Anonymous comments have little chance of being published.
- Comments made on posts 60 days old or older have little chance of being published.
- Published comments do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog author.
- Discretion of publishing or rejecting submitted comments rests solely with the owner and creator of this blog.
- Comments that egregiously "plug" (i.e. advertise or promote) another site or blog will be rejected. This doesn't mean you cannot include a link to your story, blog or to another site, but don't go overboard.
- Profanity is not a disqualifying factor, but profane rants solely for purposes of profanity are unlikely to be published.
- The owner and creator of this blog is not liable or responsible for the opinions of those who comment.