Thursday, March 29, 2007
Polar Bear Cub Knut To Be Executed
Knut, the adorably charming and delightfully cute polar bear cub, who has captivated the world's attention, has been ordered to face death by the guillotine. Having been abandoned by his mother after birth, Knut was raised by humans at Germany's Berlin Zoo.
Recently, Knut was allegedly implicated in the death of a panda. Clearly Knut has worn out his welcome.
German President Eva "Shottsy" Heinlich-Goffgildersturm has ordered Knut to be executed on Friday by means of the guillotine. "Knut has ticked us off, mocked us and tried our patience for the last time," said Heinlich-Goffgildersturm.
Animal rights activists, who had been supportive of euthanizing Knut from the very beginning, echoed the sentiments of Heinlich-Goffgildersturm. "Frankly, we are tired of his cuteness," said activist Fudir Gongabong from his office in Munich. "Cuteness buys someone or something only so much time, and Knut has used up his nine lives. Off with his head! Achtung!"
"Tell the world my story," begged Knut.
©2007
Recently, Knut was allegedly implicated in the death of a panda. Clearly Knut has worn out his welcome.
German President Eva "Shottsy" Heinlich-Goffgildersturm has ordered Knut to be executed on Friday by means of the guillotine. "Knut has ticked us off, mocked us and tried our patience for the last time," said Heinlich-Goffgildersturm.
Animal rights activists, who had been supportive of euthanizing Knut from the very beginning, echoed the sentiments of Heinlich-Goffgildersturm. "Frankly, we are tired of his cuteness," said activist Fudir Gongabong from his office in Munich. "Cuteness buys someone or something only so much time, and Knut has used up his nine lives. Off with his head! Achtung!"
"Tell the world my story," begged Knut.
©2007
Labels: Knut
Comments:
<< Home
Animal rights nazis want Knut dead because it's natural for him to die after being rejected by his mother. Isn't it also natural for us to eat animals?
Hmmmmmm.
I wonder what it's like to be an idiot.
Hmmmmmm.
I wonder what it's like to be an idiot.
Clearly Knut is a problem caused by global warming, and that's another reason he should be executed.
I think it's horrible that people would want an animal dead just for one stupid thing.
# posted by 
: 10:25 AM, May 08, 2008
: 10:25 AM, May 08, 2008
Donyelle - what I wrote was satire and fiction. However, there were those on the Left who believed that Knut should be killed rather than be raised by humans. These people are indeed crazy, insane and nuts. They are the ones who should be euthanized.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Post a Comment
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
<< Home
Alabama Internet
accordance and compliance with Fair Use Section 107 U.S. Copyright Code.
All other images and content © 2005-2009 David Drake.
Not responsible for content contained at linked sites.
Policy on commenting:
- Anonymous comments have little chance of being published.
- Comments made on posts 60 days old or older have little chance of being published.
- Published comments do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog author.
- Discretion of publishing or rejecting submitted comments rests solely with the owner and creator of this blog.
- Comments that egregiously "plug" (i.e. advertise or promote) another site or blog will be rejected. This doesn't mean you cannot include a link to your story, blog or to another site, but don't go overboard.
- Profanity is not a disqualifying factor, but profane rants solely for purposes of profanity are unlikely to be published.
- The owner and creator of this blog is not liable or responsible for the opinions of those who comment.
