Thursday, March 29, 2007
Polar Bear Cub Knut To Be Executed
Recently, Knut was allegedly implicated in the death of a panda. Clearly Knut has worn out his welcome.
German President Eva "Shottsy" Heinlich-Goffgildersturm has ordered Knut to be executed on Friday by means of the guillotine. "Knut has ticked us off, mocked us and tried our patience for the last time," said Heinlich-Goffgildersturm.
Animal rights activists, who had been supportive of euthanizing Knut from the very beginning, echoed the sentiments of Heinlich-Goffgildersturm. "Frankly, we are tired of his cuteness," said activist Fudir Gongabong from his office in Munich. "Cuteness buys someone or something only so much time, and Knut has used up his nine lives. Off with his head! Achtung!"
"Tell the world my story," begged Knut.
I wonder what it's like to be an idiot.
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