Saturday, June 02, 2007
Hoo-Ray, It's Ugly Feet Season!
One thing I like about the winter season is no one wears sandals. Now that summer is here, we can look forward to both men and women parading their ugly, detestable, smelly and fungi-infected feet upon the public by wearing sandals. Yes, the sandal-wearing crowd has descended upon us flaunting their yellow toenails and sloughing foot skin.
Nothing is more attractive than seeing splintered, yellow-fungus infected toenails, misshaped, wrinkled, twisted pretzel-like toes crammed into sandals and bloody athletes foot in public, is it?
It's even more pleasant when on hot humid days you sandal wearers freely disperse the stench of foot rot and putrefied rancid toe-jam amongst the general public. Such a pleasant aroma, much less offensive than second-hand cigarette or cigar smoke.
Bolt cutter pedicure, anyone?
Feet are the ugliest, most ghastly, horrific, stomach-turning and vile part of the human body. Some of you, instead of being ashamed of your feet, parade your sandal clad feet as it they're the greatest thing since indoor-outdoor carpeting.
I've seen brick-thick yellow toenails that would snap the blade of a chainsaw if you used one trying to trim those toenails. What's wrong with you people? Don't you know treatment is available for your mold-infected toenails? No, you'd rather slip on the sandals and show off your uncut, untrimmed, infected toenails and pock-marked varicose veined feet to the entire community.
Toenails that would snap and shatter the blades of the Jaws Of Life into tiny pieces
You may be saying to yourself, "My feet aren't aren't ugly." Yes, they are. Mine are too. There is no such thing as good-looking feet on any adult; they are grotesque, hideous, obnoxious and revolting. The bare feet of little kids are tolerable. Those little piggies aren't offensive. But somewhere after the post-teen years, wearing sandals without socks needs to be outlawed.
Some of you, if you poured jet fuel on your feet and lit them on fire and let them burn for - oh, say a half-hour - the resultant caked scabs and blackened flesh would be an improvement on the current status of your feet.
What's wrong with you people? Don't you ever bother to look at your feet and toenails and say to yourself, "gee, perhaps I should use channel locks and trim my long, thick, curled, yellow and infected toenails"?
How can anyone possibly have a foot fetish?
Or would I?
Thanks for commenting and visiting, as always.
Some of those toenails would bust the blade of a saws-all like nobody's business.
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