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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

New Study Finds Scientists Alarmed
At Changing Earth Temperatures

Geneva, Switzerland - New findings from a recent study proves that a majority of scientists are alarmed that the temperature of the earth varies. The prevailing scientific theory had been that earth's temperature remains at a constant, unchanging and unvarying 72.1 degrees.

"Shocked! Shocked, I tell you, shocked at this," exclaims Jim McJim, Senior Climatologist Administrator of the global warming organization World Under Scientific Study, or WUSS. According to McJim, shortly after the scientific community reached consensus that a flat earth theory is ultimately and woefully unscientific, the topic changed to varying temperatures from around the world.

"Who even suspected that one day might be nice and sunny and the next day it's raining," says McJim shaking his head. "We find this phenomena astonishing and uniquely quizzical. We're going to need millions and millions of dollars for WUSS so we can adequately and appropriately examine this discovery."

Indeed, this underreported but apparently common experience is felt by people around the globe.

Personal stories and hearsay abound that people in all countries remark that the weather changes from day to day and month to month. Some of the more elderly members of these areas even tell tales of weather pattern changes from year to year and decade to decade.

"You mean at any given moment the temperature and weather conditions, say, in DeKalb, Illinois may be different from those in Matam, Senegal? On its surface, that's preposterous," said McJim.

"Like any new discovery, we find this truly remarkable and challenging," says McJim, a small tear forming in the corner of his eyes. "I promise that WUSS won't disappoint the scientific community," he adds.


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