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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Stephanie Miller Not On Date With Keith Olbermann

Liberal Talk Radio's Stephanie Miller caused quite a stir for the paparazzi late yesterday when they mistook the small cocktail wiener she was holding in her hand for that of her "future husband Keith Olbermann".

Camera's flashed away at an unaware Miller during her dinner at a popular L.A. eatery where she was seen gently tapping and rubbing the small sausage against her face.

Upon realizing that the paparazzi believed the cocktail wiener was Olbermann, and that she was canoodling with him, Miller tried to correct them saying, "No, it's just a tiny cocktail wiener, it's not Keith Olbermann!" Holding it up to the sounds of clicking cameras, Miller said, "Look, see - it's just a wiener, a small wiener!"

The paparazzi momentarily stopped taking pictures, doing 'double-takes' at each other before again wildly snapping away with their cameras as Miller did her best to dissuade the bewildered onlookers from believing that the wiener was indeed Olbermann.

Miller responded by saying, "Watch, I'll eat it," and did just that. The horrified Paparazzi screamed, "She ate Keith Olbermann! Eeehaaaagggggghhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Stephanie Miller, moments before eating the cocktail wiener mistaken by Paparazzi for MSNBC's Keith Olbermann.

Olbermann released a statement saying, "Although numerous women have reported that I am woefully inadequate, selfish and a dud in the bedroom, I resent being compared to a cocktail wiener. Besides, maybe [Miller] is attracted to impotent men who lack boudoir prowess who will never master even the slightest nuance of how to please their partner. And that's what I want in my woman! And it's all Bush's fault, all his fault. All Bush's fault. Bush. That's who. Bush. George W. Bush. It's all his fault. All his fault. His. His alone. George W. Bush. Yep. It's his fault! All his, it is!"

W. William 'Willy' Weenus, Vice President of Consumer Affairs of Cocktail Wieners Of America, responding to Olbermann, said, "We universally condemn the racist and stereotypical comments spoken by Keith Olbermann about cocktail wieners. As a group, cocktail wieners satisfy plenty of people across the world at cocktail parties, barbecues and many other pleasant and enjoyable indoor and outdoor events and activities. I'm not sure, but if you took a poll, I think you would find that cocktail wieners have satisfied far more people than Keith Olbermann ever has."



Wow! Imagine if that post even had one line that was funny? I would be mightily impressed ...
David, a fantastically funny and satiric item. I laughed my ass off over and over again.

Kudos, Brilliant job, simply and elegantly brilliant!

Touche~! Brilliant, simply brilliant. If my show only had writers as witty and brilliant as you, maybe our ratings and listenership would be better!

Keep up the hilariously ball busting good work!
are you the real Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red nose Reindeer, or a cheap and inferior imitation thereof?
HEY...YUKON CORNELIUS ... you're not Husky Boi Toi Chris Lavoie from the Miller show commenting under an alias, are you?

The reason I ask is that "Wow" is one of his favorite words and your writing is very similar to the syntax that HUSKY BOI Chris Lavoie sounds when speaking.

Say Hi to your BF Rodney for me, if you are indeed Chrissy Lavoie.


THANKS NICO for jumping into the fray! Much appreciated.
lavoie smokes the ebony pole.
hey, yukon, ya got the balls to return and reply, or are you busy hiding behind your mommies skirt? or are you wearing the skirt?


"lavoie smokes the ebony pole" - heh - I wouldn't be surprised. thanks for the good laugh, anony.
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