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Saturday, October 28, 2006

Janet Reno Marries

Former United States Attorney General during the Clinton Administration, Janet Reno, today married a promotional-sized bottle of Old Style beer. The low-key ceremony was conducted by the Justice of The Peace in the small Florida town of Drinkwater.

"I met her, uh - him, uh...Janet - down at Nip's Bar," said the oversized bottle of Old Style. "She - uh, he, uh...Janet - captivated all my attention the moment she - uh, he, uh...Janet - walked in the bar. Why, I didn't even glance at the other seven post-middle-aged, leather-clad biker women - at least I think they were women - that she, uh - he, uh...Janet - walked in with."

Reno, for her part, noted that she couldn't take her eyes of the robust and condensation-laden bottle. "He's the one for me," Reno recalled telling the girlfriends she had arrived with.

The happy couple said the location of their honeymoon is a secret but a brewery tour is likely to be part of their plans.

All of us here at the mrssatan blog wish the very best to the newly and happily married couple!


That's insulting to Old Style drinkers. I'm offended. Maybe you'll insult Lowenbrau next.
I deeply apologize over any offense you imagine has harmed you...

The fine people at Lowenbrau are sponsors of this blog. Like clockwork every Friday night, their beer truck pulls up to my doorstep and unloads vast quantities of their fine adult beverages and kegs full of money, so, sadly, I cannot parody the fine folks at Lowenbrau. Again, that's the fine, fine, very fine folks who brew Lowenbrau beer. Hey, tonight is kinda special....make it a Lowenbrau.
I heard Blatz and Linenkugels are all broke up over this!
They are! Pabst Blue Ribbon too! They need to get a lawyer and sue!
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