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Thursday, August 17, 2006

The "Vertebrae Challenged" Neck of Burt Bacharach

Hey Geico, what's up with your commercial featuring aging liberal piano player Burt Bacharach? Is he retarded? Does he have a neuro-muscular disease?

I ask this because he doesn't seem to have any working vertebrae in his neck. His head hangs down, chin on chest, as if his neck cannot support the weight of his head!

Actually, near the end of the commercial, his slinking head position indicates he's trying to catch a sneak peek at the boobies of the lady seated next to him on the piano bench.

So, Hey - Geico...Burt, what's your problem? Geico..someone in your organization approved the final edit of that commercial? Was the director of that commercial on qualudes when it was being shot? How could anyone allow Bacharach's wobbly and snake-necked performance to make it through as a final cut?

Is this a cost saving tactic for Geico? After all, Geico Gets OLD CELEBS To Tell Real Customers' Tales

Burt...Why can't you support the weight of that gigantic liberal head of yours?


I don't know who's scarier in those Geico ads - Burt or that flamer Little Richard.

Charo is kind of scary too. Old women with boob jobs look weird. 60 year old women shouldn't have 20 year old breasts. It's just wrong.
You know...I like the ad with Little Richard - the guy has a sense of humor about himself (beyond just the commerical, meaning other things he appears in). I think he's just a riot (funny) as well as a pretty talented singer.

Charo...man the same shtick for...20-30-40 years? It does get old, I agree.
There is one good Geico commercial: The Fontaine guy -- he does the deep-voiced movie commercials.

I think Bacharach is stretching to reach the flask at his feet.

So, what is the deal with these washed-up, old actors doing cheezy commercials? There's the Geico commercials, Burt Reynolds is doing Bud Light, Robert Wagner is doing Mercedes Benz of Escondido (Calif.), Eric Estrada is pitching real estate lots near Seattle, and there's the infamous Breath Assure commercials with George Kennedy.

Are these dinosaurs trying to rustle up cash for another round of chemo? Or trying to fill their coffers for one last sex-tourism trip to Thailand?
I know....I long for the good old days of George Kennedy and his fine BreathAssure commercials.

WHO's the Fontaine guy....Fontaine who? I must not have seen that one yet.
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