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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Lamont Gets Kissed

Ned Lamont, campaigning for his senate bid, was kissed by Homer Simpson today in what can only be described as eerily reminiscent of President Bush kissing Senator Joe Lieberman.

Courting the cartoon character vote at a stop in the city of Danbury, Lamont spoke of his lifetime fondness for cartoon characters, saying, "I often think of myself as a cartoon character." The crowd of animated celebrities included Daffy Duck, the vacationing Hank Hill family, Foghorn Leghorn, Muddy Mudskipper, Arlo and Janis and the retired Little Lulu.

Out of nowhere, bolting from the crowd was Homer Simpson who, upon reaching Lamont, threw his arms around him and began kissing him while shouting, "I love you Ned, I love you!"

Cameras clicked away at the lip lock with Lamont finally struggling free, yelling, "he put his tongue in my mouth, he put his tongue in my mouth," repeatedly spitting to the ground in an apparent attempt to cleanse his mouth of Simpson saliva. "Please don't print that photo. I beg of you, please don't print that photo," pleaded Lamont to the press, to no avail.

"Ned Lamont? Who the hell is Ned Lamont," cried Simpson as security guards removed and detained him. "I thought this was a Ned Flanders rally," he said, referring to his neighbor. Simpson was later released on his own recognizance but he was banned from visiting or setting foot in the state of Connecticut ever again.


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