Thursday, July 20, 2006
One Hit News
I guess it's only a matter of time until the Insane Liberal Clown Posse labels BubbaCheese as "not liberal enough". Nawww, wait, the ILCP wouldn't do that...would they?
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** Speaking of BubbaCheese, This Doc says Ol' Slick is Hypomanic. Really? Noooooooo. Really? Noooooo.
He tends to be charismatic. He also tends to have a stuck accelerator. He's impulsive, risk-taking, perhaps sexually indiscreet, given to grandiosity, unconfined by convention and consumed excitedly with ideas - some great, some absurd.
** Did Jump Day Cure the so-called problem of Global Warming?
Answer: No. Rob Reiner, Rosie O'Donnell and Michael al-Moore were all on separate continents and their simultaneous jumps (well, as much as any one of these three can actually jump, anyway...) negated any negligible effect the jump could have had.
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** The Value of Human Life is $42,857.14:
Families of victims in last year's shootings on the Red Lake Indian Reservation have settled a lawsuit against the school district for $1 million. The settlement was to be distributed among 21 families of shooting victims. Olsen said how the money will be divided among families hasn't been determined. The amount includes $100,000 set aside for potential other victims who haven't yet come forward, he said.
** Drowning Boy Rescued With Fishing Pole:
Fourteen-year-old Tou Ger Yang is lucky to be alive. He nearly drowned while trying to retrieve some trash that had fallen into Gervais Mill Pond in Little Canada, Minn. "I went into the water to go grab the bottle. I couldn't make it back," said Tou Ger. "I had on jeans. They made me heavy. I was sinking down to the bottom."
Some of his cousins, jumped into try and save him. They weren't able to reach him using conventional rescue methods. When all failed, Tou Ger's cousin Kong Vang improvised. He cast his fishing rod to retrieve him. It took three tries. "It was actually a bobber," he said, "a fake worm with two hooks on it."
Tou Ger weighs 105 pounds. That much weight should have snapped the eight-pound fishing line his cousins were using, but lucky line helped reel the young fisherman in." "They slowly pulled me in," said Tou Ger. "That's why I'm still here.
** Maryland's EXTORTION of Wal-Mart gets Bee-aatch Slapped By Judge:
U.S. District Judge J. Frederick Motz decided that the Maryland Fair Share Health Care Fund Act would have hurt Wal-Mart by requiring it to track and allocate benefits for its Maryland employees in a different way from how it keeps track of employee benefits in other states.
Motz cited the federal Employee Retirement Income Security Act, which he said pre-empts state laws regarding employee benefit plans.
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