Saturday, June 10, 2006
Flesh Eating Virus Calls It Quits For Now
New York - The flesh eating virus, a well known worldwide virus, may be nearing extinction according to the virus itself. The virus painfully decimates the flesh of the victims that it infects by eating away at human tissue, often until the victim dies. In many cases anti-viral drugs are insufficient and inadequate to combat the tenacious and persistent virus.
But a major step in combating the wasting away syndrome caused by the flesh eating virus has been discovered. Celebrity and grossly obese filmmaker Michael Moore was infected with the flesh eating virus but his doctors now say his portly body is completely free of all signs of the virus.
"I thought he'd made a great meal, one that would satiate my voracious appetite," said the flesh eating virus in an interview, "but boy was I ever wrong."
The flesh eating virus had been stalking Moore for months, having set its sight on him last fall when he attended a private weight loss/fat-farm clinic in Florida. "I saw that magnificent frame, the multiple rolls of flab and his gargantuan belly and my first thought was, wow, what a great host to latch on to."
Moore, the Whale of Human Flesh that The Virus Could Not Stomach!
Sadly, for the flesh eating virus, Moore proved to be too much for it. "I started out thinking he would be my coup de grace, you know, the one that put me at the top of all the science journals. I guess I overestimated my appetite."
Doctors say the flesh eating virus bit off more than it could chew. "After consuming approximately one-third of him, I just gave up! I was so full I considered adopting a binge-and-purge routine," said the flesh eating virus. "I couldn't eat anymore of him, I was full," stated the virus. "I thought he would taste good, but he doesn't. He tastes like rotting meat. My palate for the finer tastes in flesh is forever ruined," remarked the virus.
"I'm not even sure I made a dent in him," says the virus. "It's like pissing in the ocean. Does the ocean even recognize it? That's how it was with trying to eat this guy," the virus replied. "I'm not sure where to go at this point. I may remain in some sort of worldwide remission for a while, at least until Oprah gets fat again, which shouldn't be too long. I think she'd be tasty."
©2006
But a major step in combating the wasting away syndrome caused by the flesh eating virus has been discovered. Celebrity and grossly obese filmmaker Michael Moore was infected with the flesh eating virus but his doctors now say his portly body is completely free of all signs of the virus.
"I thought he'd made a great meal, one that would satiate my voracious appetite," said the flesh eating virus in an interview, "but boy was I ever wrong."
The flesh eating virus had been stalking Moore for months, having set its sight on him last fall when he attended a private weight loss/fat-farm clinic in Florida. "I saw that magnificent frame, the multiple rolls of flab and his gargantuan belly and my first thought was, wow, what a great host to latch on to."
Moore, the Whale of Human Flesh that The Virus Could Not Stomach!
Sadly, for the flesh eating virus, Moore proved to be too much for it. "I started out thinking he would be my coup de grace, you know, the one that put me at the top of all the science journals. I guess I overestimated my appetite."
Doctors say the flesh eating virus bit off more than it could chew. "After consuming approximately one-third of him, I just gave up! I was so full I considered adopting a binge-and-purge routine," said the flesh eating virus. "I couldn't eat anymore of him, I was full," stated the virus. "I thought he would taste good, but he doesn't. He tastes like rotting meat. My palate for the finer tastes in flesh is forever ruined," remarked the virus.
"I'm not even sure I made a dent in him," says the virus. "It's like pissing in the ocean. Does the ocean even recognize it? That's how it was with trying to eat this guy," the virus replied. "I'm not sure where to go at this point. I may remain in some sort of worldwide remission for a while, at least until Oprah gets fat again, which shouldn't be too long. I think she'd be tasty."
©2006
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Thanks EC. There's so much material there to mine....such a big target of material. Thanks for commenting and stopping by.
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