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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I Hurl, Therefore I Am!

Ala "24" - The following takes place between 3:30AM Monday and 3:30 PM Tuesday:

I either had the flu or food poisoning, and I'm guessing it was the latter. I got some chicken teriyaki at the deli for dinner. I've gotten chicken teriyaki from the same deli in the past without incident. Went home, ate, watched "Family Guy", and read the sections of the Sunday paper that I didn't get to read earlier that day. Then I slipped into bed and fell fast asleep.

Around 3:30AM I woke up feeling...different. You know how your mouth produces copious amounts of saliva moments before you puke your guts out. I had enough saliva to extinguish a Southern California land fire stoked by the Santa Ana winds. I made a dash for the bathroom, hit all fours in front of Le' Toilette and vomited, over and over and over again. I brushed my teeth and headed back to bed. I tried to go back to sleep, but within minutes made another dash for the bathroom, again vomiting again and again. This scenario repeated itself around ten times, and unlike Dean Johnson's "story" to his fellow Pastors, I hereby swear that I do not embellish, not one bit. I puked so much and with such force, my abdominal muscles had a crunch workout like they've never had.

After my stomach had emptied itself from all remnants of chicken teriyaki, I made at least another half-dozen trips to the porcelain throne and puked up volumes of bile. After I was fully and completely dry, yep - then came the dry heaves.

Most of Monday afternoon was spent replenishing my dehydrated body, taking naps, and waiting to feel better. And that's the worst part of being sick, isn't it; waiting to feel better?

I managed to stay awake long enough to watch Monday night's "24" and then hit the bed. Tuesday I felt better, but nowhere near 100%. I laid low and continued drinking water. And Gatorade, which I think is the best liquid one can drink if you're feeling under the weather. I managed to post the one post last night and that was that.

I'm back at 100%, fully functional, and ready once again to hit the ground running, taking no Liberal Prisoners.

A Very Special "I Owe You One, Buddy" to Modesto Gonzales for, delivering to my house, three bottles of Gatorade and an anti-drowsy over-the-counter medication.
©2006

Comments:
I'm glad you're feeling better. Modesto is a stand-up guy.

-- T. James Edwards
 
Thanks T.J. Modesto is indeed a fine, upstanding guy.
 
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