Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Joel Stein: A Different Target of Hate
Below, with some modifications, is his "column". Hmmm, I wonder if reaction would be perhaps, a bit different, had his article been like this:
Red, White and Jew: Joel Stein
I DON'T SUPPORT the Jews. This is a particularly difficult opinion to have, especially if you are the kind of person who likes the Jews. Supporting Israel is a position that even Calvin is unwilling to urinate on.
I'm sure I'd like the Jews. They seem gutsy, young and up for anything. If you're wandering into the occupied territories for eight years of unknown danger, I want to hang with Israeli soldiers.
And I've got no problem with other people - the ones supporting anti-Semitism, who support what Hitler did and the Nazis. If you think supporting Israel was a good idea, then by all means, support away. Load up on those kosher foods, take those days off from work for all those holidays, and all the other things that Rabbinical institutions are making money off of.
But I'm not for Israel. And being against an Israeli war and saying you support the Jews is one of the wussiest positions the pacifists have ever taken - and they're wussy by definition. It's as if the one lesson they took away from Germany wasn't to avoid foreign conflicts with no pressing national interest but to remember to throw the holocaust around afterward.
Blindly lending support to Israel, I fear, will keep the Jewish state around longer by giving soft acquiescence to the hawks who support it - and who might one day want to have an Arab country in its place. Trust me, a Jew who thought the number of Jews killed in World War Two is vastly exaggerated. Me? I'm looking for some Chocolate Gugelhupf.
Besides, those little Heeb beanies they wear look ridiculous. They need a toupee or hair transplant to cover that balding section of their scalp. The real purpose of the Holocaust Museum and Holocaust Remembrance Day is to constantly remind the goyim of how much the world owes, and is in debt to, the Jews and the enduring endless reporting by Wolf Blitzer that Ariel Sharon is out of his coma, has slipped back into a coma, and is once again coming out of his coma. There should be an award for that. A kosher one, of course.
I understand the guilt, hell, I'm a Jew. My ancestors were the ones who condemned Christ to his death. We're known for our dirty work, and we want to seem apologetic.
After we've decided that we made a mistake, we blamed the Roman soldiers who were ordered to crucify Christ. Even our representatives, who were false prophets and deceived by false religious beliefs, secretly admit their error, but they will not admit it publicly.
But blaming the Jews and Israel is a little too easy. The truth is that people like me are just too afraid to fight for freedom, to put action where our words are. We are afraid to do what others do for us, so we can write our little tirades and get our Ted Rall fifteen minutes of attention. An army of whiners like me cannot do anything to protect the freedom we have as Americans. What are we going to do, screech like little skirted girls and throw our keyboards and laptops at terrorists? We cower behind the apron of our mommies.
I don't sympathize with the Jews who, especially after 9/11, tricked America into fighting a war that exists only because Israel is in the same geographic region as the Muslims. Why, if Israel just relocated somewhere else, that region would be peaceful, so I can only imagine how they feel.
But when you volunteer for the Israeli military, you pretty much know you're going to be suckering the Americans in, at some point, to do the dirty work that you really don't want to do.
And sometimes, for reasons I don't understand, you get to just hang out at Auschwitz.
I know this is all easy to say for a guy who grew up with money, did well in school and hasn't so much as served on jury duty for his country. You see, my mommy and daddy told me I am the center of the universe, therefore, I must be. But it's really not that easy to say because anyone remotely affiliated with the military could easily beat me up, I'm a pussy, a weakling, and a little girly-boy. And I'm listed in the phone book.
I'm not advocating that we spit on the Jews. But we shouldn't be catering to them like we think they're God's chosen people. All I'm asking is that we let Israeli and U.S. Jews fend for themselves, pay in total for their own Kosher food instead of having non-Jews pick up the tab, and not have so damn many "holidays" off work each year.
Oh, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry my people killed and condemned to death God's only begotten Son. Really, I am.
We need to cut some slack to Joel Boy. He's obviously qualified to know what he's writing about, right? He cut his teeth writing for the "The Martha Stewart Television Show"! If that isn't a journalistic coup de grace, I don't know what is. Surely a Pulitzer sits high atop his mantle for his contributions to Martha's show.
©2006
Labels: Ted Rall
Finance is the gun and politics is knowing when to pull the trigger....Where do I remember that from...The godfather?
Anyway, have a wonderful weekend.
Say, where is you blog? Your hypertext links to your profile, but no blog is listed? Please advise.
BTW - nice photo - you're a cutie. And fave music everything from Weezer to Ray Charles and Sam Cooke....hubba hubba (and I mean that in the nicest way).
Thanks for visiting. Stay in touch and let me know of your blog.
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