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Friday, December 16, 2005

Good News From Bubba

News Release

December 16, 2005

At a Manhattan Fundraiser last night for his wife, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, President William Clinton announced his personal satisfaction with the progress in Iraq. "Those purple fingers," said the president, stopping and choking up on his words, biting on his lower lip; "the vote in Iraq earlier today was one that freed millions of people from tyranny and gave them freedom and hope for the future."

The president, flanked by his wife, Vice President Al Gore, fellow democratic Senators John Kerry, Chuck Schumer, Ted Kennedy, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Dick Durban, DNC Chairman Howard Dean, and Rep's. Nancy Pelosi and John Murtha, gave credit to the military troops that are serving in Iraq, as well as around the world.

"We have the finest men and women protecting our democracy at home as well as bringing freedom abroad," said President Clinton, his words being interrupted time and time again by rapturous applause from over one-thousand supporters and donors.

President Clinton took the opportunity to note other recent good news. The crowd shouted "Eight more years, eight more years," when the president touted the five percent unemployment rate. "Our country is back to work," said Clinton, "and more people are homeowners than at any other time in the history of our country," said the president. At this point Senators Durban, Biden and Kennedy joined hands and began dancing together in a semi-circle.

"This past week saw a vicious killer by the name of Stanley Williams executed," said the president. "The families of his victims now have closure," he said. The crowd erupted in five minutes of non-stop applause.

"By authorizing the sharing of intelligence in our federal agencies and by my authorizing the National Security Agency to wiretap and monitor private conversations of our own citizens, this administration has uncovered and halted at least five potential terrorist acts," continued President Clinton.

Addressing the concerns of many Hurricane Katrina victims, the president, speaking without notes said, "I take personal responsibility if it is perceived that the federal government responded too slowly or in an untimely manner to what happened to all the people whose lives were uprooted by Hurricane Katrina. I want you to know, that I feel your pain," he said, a tear coming to his eye.

The president, noting that while he could talk for another seventeen hours, tried to be brief. "I know there are others who want to talk, so to address a few more concerns, let me just say that I will pass any bill that Congress sends me, and sign any check for any amount, to invest in what it takes to rebuild the levees in New Orleans and all areas affected by the hurricane, to combat terrorism at home and abroad, to fight the potential devastating effects of the Avian Flu Virus, to make our educational systems the rival of the world, and to continue importing affordable oil, for our poorest Americans. Thank you."

The supporters and donors greeted his words with a seven hour standing ovation.

After the crowd quieted down, Senator Kerry took the podium. "I will be brief," said Kerry. After noting that he had served in Vietnam, Kerry said his vote in favor of the Iraq war was the right vote to cast, "...that I never looked back or questioned my decision, " said Mr. Kerry.

Other speech highlights included both Vice President Gore and Chairman Dean praising the president for his success and determination in Iraq and Afghanistan. Rep.'s Murtha, Pelosi, and Sen. Schumer, borrowing from the "Wayne's World" movies and "Saturday Night Live" skit, smiled at the president chanting "We're not worthy, we're not worthy!" The crowd imitated the same.

Attending the fundraiser was Actor-Activist Mike Farrell, who earlier this week had protested the execution of Stanley Williams. "When I hear my beloved president explain what I, and so many others who protested the death of Mr. Williams, when I hear President Clinton explain it, I just have to change my mind and know the execution was the right thing to do," said Farrell.

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