Saturday, October 22, 2005
Prairie Home Products From mrssatan
In keeping This Trend Going, and being one to never shy away from controversy or hoopla (or possible legal threats which I will entirely dismiss and/or countersue), mrssatan is proud, insanely proud, and giddy with excitement, to present the following merchandise available to the public for the first time! My valued Mafioso team of lawyers told me I have nothing to fear by publishing the following. So, without further ado, and just in time to order as gifts for the upcoming holidays, mrssatan presents the following Prairie Home Products guaranteed to be appreciated by those who are the recipient of these extraordinary gift items:
Be the envy of your synagogue with this Prairie Home yarmulke. Make a fashion statement during your worship with this high quality, hand stitched yarmulke. This item is for sale at the low price of $199.99! Please do not send check, money order or cash. The only form of payment currently accepted is the UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. Even though this item is currently not available in stores you can own one for the low, low price of $199.99. Order a second yarmulke for only SEVEN CENTS! Item also doubles, when turned upsidedown, as a handsome candy dish or soup bowl. Wear it while listening to Lake WoDingleberryBeGone! Again, this item is for sale for $199.99.
Never worry about morning sickness with The Prairie Home Diaphragm! Made of a sturdy, organic polymer, this diaphragm will prevent those little swimmers from penetrating that Lake WoDingleberryBeGone egg! Residents of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone are never without their Prairie Home diaphragm. Even the men have one with them at all times! WARNING: The Prairie Home Diaphragm should never be used as a yarmulke. Order two or more, and we will pay all postage, handling and shipping fees! Checks, money orders, and cash cannot be accepted. Orders can only be placed by using your UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. The Prairie Home Diaphragm can be yours for the low, low price of $399.99.
Churn your butt-er with this finely crafted Prairie Home Lake WoDingleberryBeGone kosher Butt-er Churn! Vigorously churn your Butt-er into a smooth, delectable treat for all to enjoy! Say 'no more' to store purchased, off-the-rack Butt-er Churns! This item is available for the low price of $179.95! Order two or more and we will include, free of charge, the "Very Best of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone" CD featuring classic program excerpts such as "Gary Loves His Butt-er Churn" and "Butt-er Love Is The Only Love Gary Knows". Order three or more and we will include, free of charge, a vat of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone Lubricant! Slide that Slippery Slope with the Butt-er Churn used by all who reside in Lake WoDingleberryBeGone.
No one should be without these fine Prairie Home products. Advertise your love of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone by wearing your Yarmulke, Diaphragm and Butt-er Churn wherever you go!
'Gary' uses these products. Shouldn't you too?
L' Chaim!
Legal Disclaimer: Quantity is limited so order immediately. The products above are for sale even though they may not be. Payment can only be accepted by putting the charge(s) on your UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. No more than seventy items per household. Prairie Home Products may or not be affiliated with other similar named, Public Radio-teat-sucking bottom feeders. The name 'Gary' is a legal name, while Garrison is simply fictitious, made-up and phony. Nothing in this advertisement should be construed or interpreted as satire. S&H Green Stamps may be substituted in place of using your UnoCal 76 card. The maker of the above products assumes no legal liability or responsibility; in fact, we don't even know who the maker is or where the manufacturer resides. Companies that are incorporated in the state of Nevada may also be incorporated in Delaware. Residents of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone please include 100% sales tax. Offer void in Tennessee and The Islamic Republic of Iran.
©2005
Be the envy of your synagogue with this Prairie Home yarmulke. Make a fashion statement during your worship with this high quality, hand stitched yarmulke. This item is for sale at the low price of $199.99! Please do not send check, money order or cash. The only form of payment currently accepted is the UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. Even though this item is currently not available in stores you can own one for the low, low price of $199.99. Order a second yarmulke for only SEVEN CENTS! Item also doubles, when turned upsidedown, as a handsome candy dish or soup bowl. Wear it while listening to Lake WoDingleberryBeGone! Again, this item is for sale for $199.99.
Never worry about morning sickness with The Prairie Home Diaphragm! Made of a sturdy, organic polymer, this diaphragm will prevent those little swimmers from penetrating that Lake WoDingleberryBeGone egg! Residents of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone are never without their Prairie Home diaphragm. Even the men have one with them at all times! WARNING: The Prairie Home Diaphragm should never be used as a yarmulke. Order two or more, and we will pay all postage, handling and shipping fees! Checks, money orders, and cash cannot be accepted. Orders can only be placed by using your UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. The Prairie Home Diaphragm can be yours for the low, low price of $399.99.
Churn your butt-er with this finely crafted Prairie Home Lake WoDingleberryBeGone kosher Butt-er Churn! Vigorously churn your Butt-er into a smooth, delectable treat for all to enjoy! Say 'no more' to store purchased, off-the-rack Butt-er Churns! This item is available for the low price of $179.95! Order two or more and we will include, free of charge, the "Very Best of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone" CD featuring classic program excerpts such as "Gary Loves His Butt-er Churn" and "Butt-er Love Is The Only Love Gary Knows". Order three or more and we will include, free of charge, a vat of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone Lubricant! Slide that Slippery Slope with the Butt-er Churn used by all who reside in Lake WoDingleberryBeGone.
No one should be without these fine Prairie Home products. Advertise your love of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone by wearing your Yarmulke, Diaphragm and Butt-er Churn wherever you go!
'Gary' uses these products. Shouldn't you too?
L' Chaim!
Legal Disclaimer: Quantity is limited so order immediately. The products above are for sale even though they may not be. Payment can only be accepted by putting the charge(s) on your UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. No more than seventy items per household. Prairie Home Products may or not be affiliated with other similar named, Public Radio-teat-sucking bottom feeders. The name 'Gary' is a legal name, while Garrison is simply fictitious, made-up and phony. Nothing in this advertisement should be construed or interpreted as satire. S&H Green Stamps may be substituted in place of using your UnoCal 76 card. The maker of the above products assumes no legal liability or responsibility; in fact, we don't even know who the maker is or where the manufacturer resides. Companies that are incorporated in the state of Nevada may also be incorporated in Delaware. Residents of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone please include 100% sales tax. Offer void in Tennessee and The Islamic Republic of Iran.
©2005
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