Thursday, September 29, 2005
The Sheehan Bunch
The Sheehan Bunch©
(With major apologies to The Brady Bunch and nothing but respect for Sherwood Schwartz, a sit-com genius)
It's the story of an attention-seeking lady
Who went way, way, way, way off the deep end.
With misplaced emotional cause and effect,
It was far beyond any rational mend.
It's the story of her anti-U.S. groupies,
Seeking more than their fifteen minutes of fame.
None of them had any solid, proactive ideas
What they offered was impotent and lame.
Til the one day when the lady met a camera,
With willing media that had a sneaking hunch,
To cover her story ad infinitum and ad nauseum
That's the way they all became the Sheehan Bunch!
The Sheehan Bunch.
The Sheehan Bunch.
That's the way they all became The Sheehan Bunch.
With Bill Maher portraying Ann B. Davis as Alice
THE SHEEHAN BUNCH
Today's episode: Bill helps boyfriend Sam The Butcher case his salami.
Scene: The Sheehan Bunch Back Yard
Bill: Oh Sam! That's the biggest salami I've ever seen!
(Cue Moderate laugh track)
Sam: Just wait until you see the casing that goes on it, honey!
(Cue Huge laugh track)
Cindy (Enters): Republicans are all warmongers.
Jesse: There, there. Hey, I see a camera!
Dan: Why look, here comes Reverend Sharpton!
Rev Al: Hallelujah everybody! I sense a celebrity factor spike. How can I get in on thi...I mean, how can I help?
Bill: Well, Sam wants me to help him case his salami and...
Cindy: I think he was talking to me.
Joan: No, I think he was talking to me.
Baba: No, I think he was talking to me!
(Cue Wild laugh track)
Cindy: I think he was speaking to Joan.
Baba: Everything is always Joan, Joan, Joan! You like her best.
Cindy: That's not true!
(Cue Moderate laugh track)
Al: Uhhh, is anyone going to men-men-men-mention the li-li-lies this White House tells?
Baba: Here comes my boyfriend, George. George Glass!
George: Um, Soros, not Glass. This certainly is a rather bland, middle class neighborhood. Why aren't there any Bentleys in the driveways?
Rev Al: I was speaking to the pretty lady.
Baba: See, he was talking to me.
Joan: No, he meant me!
Bill: No, he meant me!
(Cue Wild laugh track)
Al: Ahhhh...ahhhh...urrr...ummm....are-are-is....ahhhh...
Dan: I think Al is having a stroke!
Joan: No, he's trying to complete a lucid thought.
Baba: What's that?
Jesse: What is that...'lucid'?
Cindy: I don't know what that is.
Dan: It's courage. Ummm, no, strike that.
George: I'm buying this whole block and turning it into a poppy field.
Sam: Hey, are you all gonna stand around gabbing? Who's gonna help me case my salami?
(Cue Wild laugh track)
Fade To Black
©2005
(With major apologies to The Brady Bunch and nothing but respect for Sherwood Schwartz, a sit-com genius)
It's the story of an attention-seeking lady
Who went way, way, way, way off the deep end.
With misplaced emotional cause and effect,
It was far beyond any rational mend.
It's the story of her anti-U.S. groupies,
Seeking more than their fifteen minutes of fame.
None of them had any solid, proactive ideas
What they offered was impotent and lame.
Til the one day when the lady met a camera,
With willing media that had a sneaking hunch,
To cover her story ad infinitum and ad nauseum
That's the way they all became the Sheehan Bunch!
The Sheehan Bunch.
The Sheehan Bunch.
That's the way they all became The Sheehan Bunch.
With Bill Maher portraying Ann B. Davis as Alice
THE SHEEHAN BUNCH
Today's episode: Bill helps boyfriend Sam The Butcher case his salami.
Scene: The Sheehan Bunch Back Yard
Bill: Oh Sam! That's the biggest salami I've ever seen!
(Cue Moderate laugh track)
Sam: Just wait until you see the casing that goes on it, honey!
(Cue Huge laugh track)
Cindy (Enters): Republicans are all warmongers.
Jesse: There, there. Hey, I see a camera!
Dan: Why look, here comes Reverend Sharpton!
Rev Al: Hallelujah everybody! I sense a celebrity factor spike. How can I get in on thi...I mean, how can I help?
Bill: Well, Sam wants me to help him case his salami and...
Cindy: I think he was talking to me.
Joan: No, I think he was talking to me.
Baba: No, I think he was talking to me!
(Cue Wild laugh track)
Cindy: I think he was speaking to Joan.
Baba: Everything is always Joan, Joan, Joan! You like her best.
Cindy: That's not true!
(Cue Moderate laugh track)
Al: Uhhh, is anyone going to men-men-men-mention the li-li-lies this White House tells?
Baba: Here comes my boyfriend, George. George Glass!
George: Um, Soros, not Glass. This certainly is a rather bland, middle class neighborhood. Why aren't there any Bentleys in the driveways?
Rev Al: I was speaking to the pretty lady.
Baba: See, he was talking to me.
Joan: No, he meant me!
Bill: No, he meant me!
(Cue Wild laugh track)
Al: Ahhhh...ahhhh...urrr...ummm....are-are-is....ahhhh...
Dan: I think Al is having a stroke!
Joan: No, he's trying to complete a lucid thought.
Baba: What's that?
Jesse: What is that...'lucid'?
Cindy: I don't know what that is.
Dan: It's courage. Ummm, no, strike that.
George: I'm buying this whole block and turning it into a poppy field.
Sam: Hey, are you all gonna stand around gabbing? Who's gonna help me case my salami?
(Cue Wild laugh track)
Fade To Black
©2005
Labels: Sheehan
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