Saturday, August 13, 2005
Moore Quits filmmaking, Becomes Sumo Wrestler
Los Angeles - Filmmaker and popular propaganda spreader Michael Moore announced today his movie making days are over. "I'm turning my talents to the field of sumo wrestling," said Moore to a crowd of paparazzi. "I've always wanted to be a sumo wrestler. The film job was just a stepping stone to pay the bills and afforded me the luxury of eating like a gluttonous slob," he said.
Jim McJim, President and Founder of the WWSWA (World Wide Sumo Wrestling Association) said he was pleased to hear of Moore's career change. "Personally, I didn't care for his films," said McJim, "but he sure is large enough to join the WWSWA and I welcome him to the league."
Ugetso Phatzo, world renowned Sumo Wrestler trainer, has already spoken to Moore and wants to represent and train him. "With the proper diet I can easily add another four or five hundred pounds onto that magnificent frame of his. As a sumo wrestler this fat sonofabitch will be unstoppable," said Phatzo.
"I'll be around to promote the next few movies that will be coming out, but after that I'll be concentrating on gorging myself. Come to think of it, it won't be much of a change from my current routine except I won't be shooting films," said the future Sumo wrestler.
Seen here in a recent photograph, Moore anxiously digs deep into his ear in search of a sweet chunk of ear wax. "You know how some people eat their own boogers? Well, I like to do the same with ear wax. Also, nobody knows this, but I have a fiveyear supply of rib eye steak, foie gras, Twinkies and Skittles hidden under my teats," he bragged.
©2005
Super Duper Giganti-sized Photo CLICK HERE (new window will open)
Jim McJim, President and Founder of the WWSWA (World Wide Sumo Wrestling Association) said he was pleased to hear of Moore's career change. "Personally, I didn't care for his films," said McJim, "but he sure is large enough to join the WWSWA and I welcome him to the league."
Ugetso Phatzo, world renowned Sumo Wrestler trainer, has already spoken to Moore and wants to represent and train him. "With the proper diet I can easily add another four or five hundred pounds onto that magnificent frame of his. As a sumo wrestler this fat sonofabitch will be unstoppable," said Phatzo.
"I'll be around to promote the next few movies that will be coming out, but after that I'll be concentrating on gorging myself. Come to think of it, it won't be much of a change from my current routine except I won't be shooting films," said the future Sumo wrestler.
Seen here in a recent photograph, Moore anxiously digs deep into his ear in search of a sweet chunk of ear wax. "You know how some people eat their own boogers? Well, I like to do the same with ear wax. Also, nobody knows this, but I have a fiveyear supply of rib eye steak, foie gras, Twinkies and Skittles hidden under my teats," he bragged.
©2005
Super Duper Giganti-sized Photo CLICK HERE (new window will open)
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