Friday, April 22, 2005
A Letter From Dan Rather: "SEEKING JOB"
Dan Rather, Former CBS Anchorman.
"Help me. I'm like a catfish out of catnip; a whale without a fur coat. Sure, I can sit at home in front of my teleprompter and still deliver the news into the 'pretend' camera. But it won't be the same. I need my audience, I have the need to be seen.
Surely there's a place for me at CNN. Some liberal, socialist producer, who has a slot open for a liberal, socialist just like me.
The neighbors ignore me now as I wave and shout hello to them-over the fence; they used the listen. No more.
The dog won't come when I call him. The cat...the cat has always ignored me. It's you, it's you the public that I crave. My friendship with Garry Trudeau means nothing...nothing! I'll give it all up if I can just get back on television on a daily basis.
How old is Jon Stewart? He should be nearing retirement age. I could take over for him on Comedy Central. It would be a seamless transition from CBS. Or perhaps I could do a 'Chapelle'-like show, only from a Midwest, Texas boy point of view. Yee Haw - THAT would be funny.
I could go the route of Bill Moyers, Alan Alda, and Charlie Rose and PBS will hire me! I could do the news on 'Sesame Street'. I could appear on 'Zoboomafo'; or maybe even be a new Teletubbie, 'Danski'.
Yes, I realize my possibilities are endless now, in what I can do. So if you wouldn't mind, give me a call. And, as always, Courage. Blinding, raging Courage. Courage. Courage. Courage."
Thanks,
Dan
Alabama Internet
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