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Friday, November 14, 2008

Sperm Donor Shortage

** The following contains a punch line at the end of the post that some may find offensive. **

The UK's Independent reports that the UK is experiencing a shortage of sperm donors:

    Experts are calling for action to deal with the shortage of UK sperm donors as new research from the US suggests some children want to know about their donor fathers.

    Anonymous sperm and egg donation was banned in the UK in 2005, meaning children can now trace their biological parents when they are 18.

    The move has largely been blamed for the overall decline in the number of sperm donors since the 1990s, and fewer women than ever are conceiving children using a donor.

    Today, leading experts in the field called for a raft of measures to increase the availability of donor sperm.

I have a possible solution for the UK's sperm shortage: Couldn't they just get gay Congressman spBarney spFrank to cough into a 50-gallon barrel a few times? (Good god that's disgusting and I apologize for any visual images that enters your mind).



* Gasp and swoon *
"Gasp and swoon..."

That is fucking hysterical.

Can I "borrow" that phrase to use at some future point?
Only as long as every time that you use it, you either throw the back of your hand against your forehead while saying it, or clutch your chest, while wearing a look of utter shock on your face. It is really nothing without the visual aids.

And I really cannot take credit for it. My buddy, The Nation, came up with it when he peed off the deck at a cookout. The hostess got really upset and The Nation just made a big scene with the exclamation and the hand gestures. I almost swallowed my tongue from laughing.

We got thrown out of the party. But, no blood, no foul. Such is Mississippi life, when you are drunk.
I will absolutely follow the rules for using "Gasp and Swoon."

(That's a GREAT NAME for a blog. You should claim that name right now!)

People in Mississippi get drunk? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! ;-)
That should take care of their over population, right?
I'm now scared for life...
Bug, Absolutely!

Me too!

Sorry about that!

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