Tuesday, November 04, 2008
NBC Projects Obama The Winner
This post will be continually updated as the situation warrants...
With 0.00% of precincts reporting and no reliable exit polling, NBC has declared Barack Obama as the winner of the presidential election. Their projection is based on who they've been in the tank for these past, almost, two years, said NBC President of News Jim McJim.
"We're actually being pragmatic about this," said McJim. "Some may find this premature on our part, but we at NBC News have been chomping at the bit for several months wanting to declare our treasured and precious projection that Obama has won the election," he said.
"While others in the news division wanted to call it earlier this morning, I took the sensible approach, thinking no, that may be too early, opting for mid-afternoon. And this seems like just the right time," he said.
Other networks quickly jumped on the bandwagon with CBS declaring the following projection:
Obama-Biden: 100%
McCain-Palin: 0.00%
CNN declared the election a "complete Obama Landslide" shortly after 4:12 PM Eastern Time. CNN hosts Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper were reportedly running up and down hallways within the CNN building in naked, drunken revelry.
Following CNN was The New York Times which has already printed its front page for their Wednesday edition. It shows Obama with the title above him, "Our Dear Leader."
The John McCain-Sarah Palin campaign has not yet issued any concession speeches, leaving the Main Stream Media puzzled.
More details as they happen.
Developing...
©2008
With 0.00% of precincts reporting and no reliable exit polling, NBC has declared Barack Obama as the winner of the presidential election. Their projection is based on who they've been in the tank for these past, almost, two years, said NBC President of News Jim McJim.
"We're actually being pragmatic about this," said McJim. "Some may find this premature on our part, but we at NBC News have been chomping at the bit for several months wanting to declare our treasured and precious projection that Obama has won the election," he said.
"While others in the news division wanted to call it earlier this morning, I took the sensible approach, thinking no, that may be too early, opting for mid-afternoon. And this seems like just the right time," he said.
Other networks quickly jumped on the bandwagon with CBS declaring the following projection:
Obama-Biden: 100%
McCain-Palin: 0.00%
CNN declared the election a "complete Obama Landslide" shortly after 4:12 PM Eastern Time. CNN hosts Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper were reportedly running up and down hallways within the CNN building in naked, drunken revelry.
Following CNN was The New York Times which has already printed its front page for their Wednesday edition. It shows Obama with the title above him, "Our Dear Leader."
The John McCain-Sarah Palin campaign has not yet issued any concession speeches, leaving the Main Stream Media puzzled.
More details as they happen.
Developing...
©2008
Labels: Election 2008, parody and satire
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