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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Malloy Mourns Cows Affected By Flood

The floods in the Midwest have devastated homes and businesses. At least ten deaths are the result of flood-related circumstances.

So what did the Rapidly Decaying Corpse of Mike Malloy talk about and shed tears over in the opening monologue of his Thursday unlistened to Liberal Radio Hate Fest?

He mourned the cows. Cows that were caught up, trapped or having died in the flooding. Not a word about human loss of life. Not a word about the devastation of families, houses and commercial property. No, he felt sorry for the cows.

See, this is what happens to a person when their syphilis-ridden brain goes untreated by modern medicine and antibiotics.

C'mon Mikey, when is that blood vessel in your had gonna pop? Hold on - that's not a bulging blood vessel. I bet it's a big old wormy chunk of spirochete Treponema pallidum, the bacteria that causes syph. Now it all makes sense, Malloy is slowly going insane. Ah, Schadenfreude, sweet, creamy glorious, chocolaty, nougaty, caramel, whipped cream Schadenfreude.

Such a compassionate guy, huh? Huh? Huh? Moo...Moo.



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