Friday, July 06, 2007
Bush Continues Improving Gitmo
- Impressive guest list of motivational speakers including Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Osama Obama, Nanny Pelosi, David Letterman, Al Franken, Joe Biden and many others.
- 21- course buffet breakfast extended an extra two hours to accommodate those who want to sleep in.
- Detainees and terrorist suspects no longer required to put on weekly theatrical performance of "Cats" solely for the Soldiers' amusement.
- Each detainee upgraded to brand new Sleep Number bed instead of currently used 2007 floor models.
- Toiletry, bath and personal grooming items no longer will include Sam's Club Brand and Suave. All will be replaced by the Paul Mitchell line of products.
- All suspects will have ample opportunity and time to "touch those things".
- Expensive and extensive Fireworks Display every evening accompanied by approved Islamic Music performed by a 327-person professional orchestra.
- A permanent discontinue of the Torture method forcing detainees, at gunpoint, to play continuous and unending games of "Candyland", "Chutes And Ladders" and "Cootie".
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