Thursday, April 12, 2007
Keith Olberwiener Beaten Up By Goilz!
Not only is Liberal Hatemonger Olberwiener a dud in bed lacking all prowess in how to pleasure a woman, he admits to being "beat up by girls" in New York Magazine.
Oh dear Lord, as Eric Cartman would say between spits of laughter, "That is SO LAME!"
Excerpts from NY Mag:
It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that when Keith Olbermann was a kid, he got the tar kicked out of him on a regular basis. And not by the football team. “I got beat up by girls all the time,” says Olbermann.
“I was always trying to match my intellectual maturity with an equal emotional maturity, and it didn’t work.” [It still doesn't. - Drake]
Graduating at 16, Olbermann shipped off to Cornell as the school’s youngest freshman. It wasn’t much fun. His parents went to extreme lengths to make his dorm room the only one in Ithaca with cable TV. Between tearful calls home, Olbermann sat alone and watched the tube. “Thank God for Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” says Olbermann. “Or I might not have made it.”
The many, many phone calls from Keith to home:
"Mommy, it's Keithy. I (sob)....I (sob)......."
"What is it Keith, what is it?"
"I wanna come home (sob, gasp, sob)...I miss you. I miss you and daddy and my Fluffy Pooh Poohs bear! I wanna come home (sob, sob, gasp, sob)."
What a friggin' woman! Grow a set of testes for Keeeeey-Rist's sake. (Sorry ladies, you're far tougher than Olberwiener - no offense intended).
Now Olberwiener is casting aspersions at CNN's Anderson Cooper, claiming Cooper is an in-the-closet gay man:
Anderson Cooper isn't just feeling the heat from the gay community about his decision to keep his sexuality off the table for discussion. If Out magazine's "Glass Closet" cover story wasn't enough for the CNN anchor, Michael Jensen of AfterElton makes note of a New York magazine profile this week on MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann. Olbermann, citing a Men's Journal article in which Anderson refuses to discuss his sexuality, calls foul on Anderson's non-disclosure.
"Don’t tell me you don’t want to talk about personal life when you wrote a book about your father’s death and your brother’s death. You can’t move this big mass of personal stuff out for public display, then people ask questions and you say, 'Oh, no, I didn’t say there was going to be any questions.' It’s the same thing as the Bush administration saying, 'We’re going to war, but you really aren’t allowed to know why'...Don’t tell me you can’t talk about your personal life and then, when they send you overseas and you do a report that consists of your voice-over and pictures of you in a custom-made, blue-to-match-your-eyes bulletproof vest, looking somberly at these scenes of human devastation—like a tourist—and that’s your report. Your shtick is your personal life."
Geeeezuz-Key-Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist, Olberwiener, wear a freakin' Sun Dress for you next television appearance.
It's fun poking fun at the pain of Liberals. I'm going to be doing it more often, far, far, far more often. Their tears from their pain and sorrow are sweet, just like Cartman says.
Labels: Keith Olberwiener
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