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Friday, March 31, 2006

One Hit News

"My Brain Was On Fire!", is how one human volunteer expressed his reaction to experimental trials of the drug TGN1412.
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Nigerian football referees Allowed to accept Bribes but must promise to not let bribe affect their calls.
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One Year After: Terri Schiavo fiasco still generating wide range of differing opinions.
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Hungary Film Industry Booming.
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In the wake of Mohammed cartoons, Danes promise A Kinder, Gentler, More Tolerant Community.
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Rich Pimp Jailed. Employed up to 40 girls and had major Bling.
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More Liberal SCARE TACTICS! Libs tells Katrina victims that "You HAVE NOT lost the right to vote." Did anybody tell them they had? No...just more SCARE TACTICS from the LiberNazis to keep "their plantation" in check.
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SCARE TACTICS 2: THE SEQUEL: The (Jim and Sarah) Brady Anti-Gun (But not anti-criminal) Group "marks" David Hinckley Jr.'s shooting of Ronald Reagan by Perpetuating the Myth That People Don't Kill People, Only Guns Do.

"Guns don't fall from the sky into the hands of criminals." Really? Really? Really?!?!?

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Bush And Congress Seek Removal Of Simpsons Life Support

President George W. Bush unexpectedly left the Cancun Summit in Mexico earlier today, returning to Washington, D.C. He is joining a full, in-session Congress in protesting the cruel and inhumane medical community and the Fox Network's decision of keeping "The Simpsons" on life support long after both brain death and series creativity death has occurred.

Senator Bill Frist, R-TN, a cardiac surgeon, condemned the prolonging of life of the cartoon saying, "it is reprehensible and sadistic to subject the American public to the animated antics of a family that ceased to be funny almost a decade ago."

His sentiments were echoed by Maryland Senator Barbara Ann Mikulski, a Democrat, who said that artificially supporting the life of the citizens of Springfield is the most egregious act of selfishness that she has ever witnessed.

Homer Simpson: A Respectable Death Or More Prolonged Agony?

"The Simpsons", which for many years was a witty and self-sustaining venture, has become in recent years reruns of old plot and storylines, relying on tiresome rehashed ideas including Moe selling his bar or changing its decor, Sideshow Bob breaking out of jail only to find himself being rearrested and returned to prison, recurring failed marriages for Marge Simpsons' sister Selma Bouvier, and other various repeated scenarios of primary and secondary characters finding themselves in the same situations that are no longer amusing, innovative or novel.

"There is no doubt that it is time to remove 'The Simpsons' life support system," said Arizona Republican Senator John McCain. "As much as I enjoyed their antics in their early years, watching them now is an exercise in praying for an early death," he said.

Pro-Life sources from the Fox Network refused to comment. However, one studio executive close to The Simpsons said, off-the-record, "we're going to keep milking [this series] until Hell freezes over because we have nothing else new coming down the pipeline."


Clinton-Streisand Love Child: Exclusive Photo

With rumors flying about an encounter between former President Bill Clinton and Barbra Streisand at the White House, this site has obtained, through anonymous but reliable sources, the first known photograph of the Clinton-Streisand Love Child, reportedly name Bubbra.

Prematurely gray, the young male is an amazing mesh of countenance of both Clinton and the singer with the giant and identifiable nose.

You be the judge:

Bubbra Clinton: The Alleged Off-Spring of Clinton and Streisand.

AirHead America: Take Two

In keeping with the Liberal Tradition that when one fledging enterprise isn't working, the answer is creating a second enterprise with the hopes that it will meander its way through the maze and aimlessly roam until, if it's lucky, find the bulls-eye, a second liberal radio network is in the works called the Head On Radio Network. (You can search for it via Google, I'm not linking to it or giving it a plug.) In other words, the AirHead America Radio Network isn't the success its creators, financial backers and on-air "talent" thought it would, planned it to be, and wanted it to be. Why would you clone a failed business model? While imitation may be the most sincere form of flattery (or ridicule), who and why would anyone want to imitate an unsuccessful operation? Why, only AA, of course!

AA has lost affiliate stations in Phoenix, Arizona, West Virginia and Missoula, Montana. Instead of facing the reality that these stations pulled in no ratings and thus, no advertising dollars, AA points the finger of blame and the failure of these stations to attract listeners onto others. They blame the free market, that these stations were sold and their programming changed to classic music, country music, and (GASP!) Christian formats. AA, instead of admitting that these stations weren't attracting an audience, blame the free market for doing what any other unprofitable business would do; changing procedure and policy, in this case format, to one that is profitable.

Once again the Left's envy of a corporation being profitable and successful rears its ugly head. But they won't apply this same standard to themselves. I doubt the on-air "talent" of AA work for free, donating their time and effort to "The Cause". Maybe Al O'FrankenFailure could take a reduction in his reported AA $2-$3 Million salary per year? Is there any wealth envy of O'FrankenFailure from his lesser know peers Randi Rhodes, The Rapidly Aging Corpse of Mike Malloy or Stephanie Miller? You bet there is!

So the strategy the Left devises to combat the effectiveness, profitability and dominance of Conservative Talk Radio is...to create a second liberal radio network? You've heard the saying that insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result each time. Insanity, thy name is Liberal Talk Radio.

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

No, not the late Russ Meyer film.

It seems there is a six-toed devil cat named Lewis, In Fairfield, Connecticut:

I know how to deal with Lewis. Ship him up to Nova Scotia and put him in a baby seal costume!

FahrenLIES 911 1/2

Remember Sherman and Peabody? Well, let's hop into their Wayback Machine and return to the year 2004, courtesy of Sherman and, the all-knowing, Mister Peabody!

Mr. Peabody and Sherman at The Wayback Machine

Let's time travel back to 2004 as we approach the 2008 election coming up in a few months. What type of propaganda will we see from the Radical Left Wing as we get closer to the November? What kind of lies can we expect from the Radical Left in their attempts to regain a foothold in Congress?

Will the Fat Bastard release his untruthful and distorted sequel this summer, trying to sway those who are not fully informed, to vote for the LiberNazis? We can only imagine what's in store from the Lying Left.

Back in 2004, writer Christopher Hitchens, once a darling of the Left until he recognized and wrote about the dishonesty and duplicity of the Liberal party, wrote a fine and noteworthy piece for SLATE titled "Unfairenheit 9/11". He put the spotlight on all of the blatant lies told by the Fat Bastard. And the sequel to "F-911", inventively and in a stroke of unequalled, mind-blowing creativity, titled "9-11 And 1/2" will soon be hitting theater screens.

But what did Mr. Hitchens write almost two years ago? Let's take a look:

STOP: Political cowardice is the only ideology that the Left knows. Whether they are a politician or a lackey, the only method they practice is one of doom, gloom and unadulterated, untruthful fear-mongering.
STOP: A fine example of the Left applying their decidedly subjective interpretation of splitting hairs in their portrayal of Their Own and their portrayal of their Political Opponents.
STOP: Again, another example of being damned if you do, damned if you don't. The Left will never apply to themselves the same standard they set for others!
STOP: Oh, Moore knows whether or not he is a pacifist. He simply refuses to say, for doing so would identify his own self-induced delusion and deep rooted denial.
STOP: But the Left never acknowledges this, admits this, or report on this. Why? Because they lose credibility if they do.
STOP: Is one too many, is a hundred enough? Well, only the Left is permitted to define such an arcane matter, right?
STOP: Show me a morbidly obese individual like Mooooooooooore and I can tell you EXACTLY how much courage and willpower that person has.
STOP: A true documentary is one that objectively presents all views on its subject matter. Is there any doubt that Moore is nothing but a propagandist and is as far removed from being a documentarist as can be?
Nothing much has changed for the Left since the above was written in 2004. Mr. Hitchens magnificently nailed it two years ago, and his words ring as true now as they did then. But then again, as others so often say, nothing much has changed for the Left in fifty years. They're still using the same dusty playbook from decades past. And this is why they are not the party able to deal with terrorism or any other problem or challenge facing the United States, or the world, today or in the future.

To say the Left is stuck in a pre-9-11 mentality is to be extremely generous to them. Whether they are politicians or propagandists, they are still, using Mrs. Clinton's words, a party stuck "in the plantation" days. They believe they own the African American voter bloc. They believe that their ideas cannot be questioned or examined. They believe that no one except their elite own has a solution for a problem.

When you only believe what you believe, regardless of facts, you have the makings of Fascism. When you attempt to push those beliefs onto others, and ridicule and belittle those who disagree with you, you have - you guessed it - the Democratic Party of Today. A party of which Adolf Hitler would be most proud.



Awwwwww, poor Meathead...he resigned from his preschool commission. "Oh, Dat's So Sad!"

Obese Wonder: Rob "Meathead" Reiner
Eric Cartman: "I just love Rob Reiner. He just goes around imposing his will on other people. He's so Awesome!"

Don't you feel sorry for him? BUT WAIT....THERE'S MORE:

    Legislators from both political parties said Reiner, an outspoken Democrat, improperly spent $23 million of commission funds...

    As recently as two weeks ago, the director of the film "When Harry Met Sally", said he would not leave the job.

You know something has hit the fan when both Liberals and Conservatives agree that someone has improperly spent money!

You know what I think? I think he embezzled the money and used it to buy hamburgers, ice cream, Godiva candies, foie gras, and pies. Lots and lots of pies. And cake. Lots and lots of cakes.

In the words of Archie Bunker, "Stifle yourself 'dere, Meathead!"

Additional background information HERE.


I Hurl, Therefore I Am!

Ala "24" - The following takes place between 3:30AM Monday and 3:30 PM Tuesday:

I either had the flu or food poisoning, and I'm guessing it was the latter. I got some chicken teriyaki at the deli for dinner. I've gotten chicken teriyaki from the same deli in the past without incident. Went home, ate, watched "Family Guy", and read the sections of the Sunday paper that I didn't get to read earlier that day. Then I slipped into bed and fell fast asleep.

Around 3:30AM I woke up feeling...different. You know how your mouth produces copious amounts of saliva moments before you puke your guts out. I had enough saliva to extinguish a Southern California land fire stoked by the Santa Ana winds. I made a dash for the bathroom, hit all fours in front of Le' Toilette and vomited, over and over and over again. I brushed my teeth and headed back to bed. I tried to go back to sleep, but within minutes made another dash for the bathroom, again vomiting again and again. This scenario repeated itself around ten times, and unlike Dean Johnson's "story" to his fellow Pastors, I hereby swear that I do not embellish, not one bit. I puked so much and with such force, my abdominal muscles had a crunch workout like they've never had.

After my stomach had emptied itself from all remnants of chicken teriyaki, I made at least another half-dozen trips to the porcelain throne and puked up volumes of bile. After I was fully and completely dry, yep - then came the dry heaves.

Most of Monday afternoon was spent replenishing my dehydrated body, taking naps, and waiting to feel better. And that's the worst part of being sick, isn't it; waiting to feel better?

I managed to stay awake long enough to watch Monday night's "24" and then hit the bed. Tuesday I felt better, but nowhere near 100%. I laid low and continued drinking water. And Gatorade, which I think is the best liquid one can drink if you're feeling under the weather. I managed to post the one post last night and that was that.

I'm back at 100%, fully functional, and ready once again to hit the ground running, taking no Liberal Prisoners.

A Very Special "I Owe You One, Buddy" to Modesto Gonzales for, delivering to my house, three bottles of Gatorade and an anti-drowsy over-the-counter medication.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

To Return...

...In a day or two. A bit under the weather. Details of voluminous vomiting to come!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

SCOOP: Dean Johnson's Apology - Read It Now!

Through anonymous but trusted sources, this site has procured a copy of Minnesota State Senator/Pastor/Chaplain Dean Johnson's apology that he will deliver on the Minnesota Senate floor tomorrow, Monday, March 27, 2006.

Here is his apology:

MN State Senator Dean Johnson, DFL, LIAR

"To the Members of the Minnesota Senate, Members of the Minnesota House of Representatives, the Minnesota Supreme Court Justices, my fellow Pastors, my fellow Chaplains in the Minnesota National Guard, and to the citizens of Minnesota, I apologize for being, as 'South Park's' Eric Cartman would call me, a big, fat, no-good, poopy pants liar.

I apologize for inventing and fully fabricating a conversation with the Minnesota Supreme Court Justices that never happened; that only existed in my small, pretend, make-believe mind. For the record, it is not uncommon for me to have these pretend and make-believe conversations. I often have conversations with The Tooth Fairy, The Lucky Charms Leprechaun, The Trix Rabbit, and David Hasselhoff.

And just because these conversations take place only in my mind, does not mean they are not real. Why, just the other day I had conversation with Little Jack Horner, who was sitting in a corner, eating his Christmas pye. I said to him, 'Hey, Little Jack Horner, how about sharing a slice of that pye with me?' But sadly, he refused, telling me that he would never, ever, vote to overturn Minnesota's marriage amendment.

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy and my fellow actors and actresses for this award for Best Supporting Liar in the Minnesota Senate. You like me, you really really like me!

I'd like the thank my political opposition, the Republicans, for caving in and not having the spine nor the courage to censure me or remove me from office.

My peers in the Senate, Mr. Chekov, Mr. Spock, Miss Uhura and Scooby Doo, know that I am most contrite and repentant in my words here, today.

As I move forward, beyond this day, I promise with all my fervor to refrain from telling tall tales, unless I believe in my mind they are true and factual.

And now, I'd like to ask all Minnesotans to join me in singing our national anthem, 'O Canada'. Ready...a-one, a-two - a-one, two, three, four..."


Seal Kill

I don't know what to make of the whole seal hunt/kill thing that takes place annually. I haven't researched it enough to find out if seals are nearing any type of species endangerment or not. I understand the side that says the hunt is the livelihood of those who partake in this. And I also understand the side that views this hunt as cruel.

What I can offer is a brief comment on a documentary I watched on the seal hunt, and it is this: Can the seal hunters find a bit more humane way to kill their prey instead of walking up to the seals and putting a pick-axe into their heads? And know that this comment or criticism is from someone who has done his share of hunting and fishing. Keeeeey-Riiiist, I just winced when I saw the hunters nail these poor, defenseless animals in the head with a pick-axe.

News and info on this story

Comments and info from those more familiar with this hunt and what it all involves greatly appreciated.


MrsSatan: Profound Jesus Freak , Spitter On Wal-Mart

Why, MrsSatan is just another "Everyman", isn't she? Or perhaps, that should be "Everywoman"?

Why, by her own admission she Talks With Eleanor Roosevelt.

And she panders to the religious crowd by Saying Jesus would be considered an illegal immigrant.

And now, after she has sucked all she can for her own good from Wal-Mart, She Spits On Them:

    While her husband was governor of Arkansas, she served for six years on Wal-Mart's board. During that time, Wal-Mart grew and grew and grew. And Hillary deposited her paycheck and received stock options.

    Juicier yet, Hillary and Bill earned the equivalent of frequent flyer status on Wal-Mart's corporate jets, taking 14 trips in 1990 and 1991 to begin their pursuit of the presidency. They'd hit the big time.

    You'd think that, as a politician who wants to appeal to voters who admire real-world success, she'd ballyhoo that experience.

    But instead, she's repudiating her Wal-Mart connections, quietly but firmly. Last year she returned a $5,000 contribution given to her by Wal-Mart. Reason? "Serious differences with current company practices."

No longer on the Board of Wal-Mart? No longer getting paid by Wal-Mart? No longer using their jets? F*ck 'Em, right Hillar---I mean, MrsSatan? Ahhhhhh, that's just what a good Socialist LiberNazi does, isn't it? Use 'Em, Suck The Life Out of 'Em, then F*ck 'Em after they can no longer do you any good. What a C*nt!

MrsSatan: "I Will RULE YOU!"

Saturday, March 25, 2006


* * Thirdee honors three fallen soldiers and pulls no punches in what she Thinks of the four Anti-American Activists befriending our enemies in Iraq.
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* * Point-B "Honors" That uber-liberal woman singer with the GIGANTIC NOSE!
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* * A very fine analysis of the differences between Liberalism and Conservatism.
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* * Republican Vet adds another entry to our vocabulary: NeoLibertard. Heh, heh, heh!
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* * This Item is destined to become a collector's item.
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* * I'm convinced, after seeing THIS , that if you can dream it, it can be built with Legos.
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> > > A very Worthy Cause . Please stop by and do what you can. H/T: GUYK.

Buck Owens, Country-Western Star Dies

Country Legend Buck Owens Moved on Up to Guitar Heaven.

Buck Owens
You succeeded in how you will be remembered, without a doubt, and surpassed those goals by leaps and bounds.

Rest In Peace.

Friday, March 24, 2006

One Hit News

Suspected Terrorist wanted to Poison Football Fans' Beer:
Of course the Left just want to pretend that situations like the above don't exist. Or if they do, well, as Mr. John Kerry once stated, "Terrorism is just a nuisance."
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Walgreen customers Sue Over Internal Pharmacy Notes:

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A series of photographs From Rioting, Socialist, Youths in France.

See, this is what happens when a Liberal, Socialistic Government teat feeds its citizenry for so long, for so many years, then decides to remove the trough. The Left in the U.S., somehow...oddly...doesn't realize or recognize this.
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What's that foul stench? Second hand cigarette smoke...cigar smoke? No. It's the The Stench of Lynx
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A Beer Health Spa! Cheers!

Fat Eddy Schultz Will Repay You By Shooting Your Dog!

Winding his way down the West Coast "Save the AirHead America Stations Tour", Big Fat Eddy Schultz mentioned today that he didn't know how to thank all those who were so kind to him this past week.

Well...I have an idea how Fat Eddy can repay you:

Press the > button to listen to the audio:

Big Fat Eddy Schultz

Ed Schultz Shoots His Dog!

Ed Schultz Shoots His Dog!

All voices are impersonated. Or...are...they?


Need A Room? Check Into "MOTEL HELL" Tonight!

The Sundance Channel is running a favorite flick of mine, from 1980; the one and only, MOTEL HELL. The hotel in the film is actually MOTEL HELLO, but the neon "O" is burned out.

Some background, ***with spoilers***, can be found

It stars Rory Calhoun, St. Paul, MN native Nancy Parsons, Wolfman Jack and John "Cheers' Cliff Clavin" Ratzenberger.

I like it because it is definitely not one of your typical, roadside motel slice-and-dice movies. It not only has a sense of humor about itself, it is one of those rare and well-done combinations in the Horror-Comedy genres.

"It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters."
(How can you go wrong with a film that has the above as its Tag Line?)

Tonight, 9PM CENTRAL TIME...on The Sundance Channel.

MN Senator Dean Johnson, DFL, Set Free To Lie Again!

Spineless, wimpy Minnesota State Republicans fold and retreat from formal ethics complaints against the LYING MN State Senator/Pastor/Chaplain Dean Johnson, Commiecrat/DFL. The only reprimand facing the lying Pastor/"Senator" is that he will have to make a verbal apology on the floor of the State Senate and apologize, in writing, to the group of Pastors that he lied to.

Wow, why it's a reprimand fit for a liar, befitting the LYING ordained Lutheran Pastor, MN National Guard Chaplain, and "Senator", Dean "The LIAR" Johnson. Johnson still maintains he didn't do anything wrong! I guess lying is part of
Pastor/Chaplain Johnson's DNA. I guess he doesn't know the difference between lying and telling the truth. Fabricating statements and conversations he never had with Justices of the MN Supreme Court is such a gray area, isn't it? The World of Make-Believe is the world in which Pastor Johnson lives. Why, I bet through his eyes, the sky is pink, the grass is orange and the snow is a pretty shade of navy blue.

Of course, I am not surprised. MN Republicans, like so many of their brothers and sisters on the Federal level, are afraid of being perceived as mean, mean-spirited, and playing a political card when it comes to applying ethical standards and accountability to Demented Lying Liberals, like
Pastor/Chaplain/"Senator" Johnson.

"Pastor" Johnson: Set Free To Lie and Lie Again!

In his own lying, untruthful words:

Press the > button on the audio bar to hear
Pastor Johnson lie about conversations that never took place:

    "Members of the [Minnesota] Supreme Court, I know all of them, I have had a number of visits with them about - you know - about our law. And all of them, every one of them, including the lady who just stepped down, Kathleen Blatz, was my seat mate for four years, she'll be Chief Justice. You know what her response was, Dean we all stand for election too, every six years, she said we are not going to touch it. That's what she said to me. I've talked with Justice Anderson, another Justice Anderson, Dean we're not gonna do this - you know - we're not gonna do this."

[Source for above: Audio from 1-866-5-RESIGN (toll free) www.JohnsonResign.com]

Oh, there's plenty wrong with the Republican party, and this is but one example of their weeniness. So this coming fall, when my phone starts ringing and I'm getting calls from the Republican Party of Minnesota reminding me to vote for their candidates...Save Your Breath, people...Save Your Breath. No, I'm not going to vote for the Liberal Commiecrat candidate. I will do as I've done many times in the past, and vote for an independent third party. Or, come to think of it...maybe, just maybe, I will vote for the Liberal Commiecrat. At least I know what I'm getting if I vote for the Liberal Commiecrat.

When I have voted for the Republican candidate in the past, I expect a candidate who will live up to the Conservative ideas that that party stands for. A party and a politician who won't cave in from doing the right thing. Sadly, caving in is what Republican State Senators Claire Robling of Jordan and Mike McGinn of Eagan did.

To those spineless and wimpy Republicans, I ask this: Do you think one of your own would get the same treatment from the Commiecrats? Do you not think the Commiecrats wouldn't use a situation like this to make political hay and grandstand?

Yes, I do expect the Republican Party to grandstand on issues such as
Pastor Johnson's lying and fabricating stories of make-believe. Yes, I do expect the Republican Party to play the political card in matters like this. Why? Because you have every legal and moral responsibility to do so. Because it's the right thing to do. But you caved...you caved like the sorry and pathetic spineless and wimpy Republican In Name Only Republicans that you are.

You had the opportunity to boot
Pastor/Senator/Chaplain Johnson's lying ass out of the legislature, had you the spine to do just that. But you caved. You caved because you were afraid of either how you would be (mis)perceived and/or how your actions would be reported by the liberal press.

What - are you afraid to do the right thing? Apparently so!

So, save your breath Republican Party, when you contact me this fall, reminding me to vote for your spineless and wimpy candidates. I'd rather throw my vote away on a third party who has no chance of winning than to vote for, and elect, another spineless, wimpy, cave-in RINO.

The death of the Republican party won't come from its fundamental hard-line Conservatives or from its opposition Left. The death of the Republican Party will be self-inflicted from its RINO members. And when that happens, I'll be there to say "I told you so, you spineless wimpy RINO's."

Full background on this story HERE.
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Linking Here:

Thursday, March 23, 2006

One Hit News

Stories of The Brain. Don't miss Beheaded Body Takes 32 Steps, or Life Without Brain. (I could make a ton of jokes about Liberals...but I won't...at least for now).
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Get out the Bullwhips and Cat-O-Nine Tails because Whipping Is Good For You.

    Russian scientists recommend the following course of the whipping therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whips on the buttocks in every procedure. A group of drug addicts volunteered to test the new method of treatment: the results can be described as good and excellent.

I guess the old saying 'Dominatrix Knows Best' is true!

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A story one and a half years old, but still worth a read: Cat Rapes Woman:

    "You know, my friend, there is nothing better than the cat's little tongue," said she. When the cat started licking valerian off from Svetlana, something happened to the animal. Timka probably took too much of the medication: he started licking the liquid away but all of a sudden he seized the genitals of the poor woman with his claws and teeth.

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Seance planned to make contact with John Lennon.

    Yoko Ono - who refused to take part - said the stunt was "tasteless, tacky and exploitative".

You have to hand it to Yoko. She has such high standards. She would never do anything tasteless, tacky or exploitative with regard to her late husband...
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Seven photos of the Camera that can "see" the cannabis you're growing in your house, by the thermal output. Picture 6 gives me the munchies!
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A history of...how can I write this without being gross...Solid Waste. Just think, someone goes to that sight, and looks at this One Image and proclaims, "Yep, that's mine." Reminds me of Helen Thomas. (Me bad...oh, me so bad).

Jeeves Found!

Jeeves the Butler has been found. After almost one month since his untimely and unceremonious dismissal from his search engine employer, Jeeves is now working for a drug lord in the small Mexican town of San Loco.

"I didn't know what I was going to do after I lost the search engine gig," said Jeeves. Finding himself not being able to do what he was born to do, that of a butler, Jeeves laid low, contemplating his next move. "I heard through a friend that work was good in Mexico. I guess you can say I'm one of the few Americans immigrating to Mexico for work," he said.

Life in Mexico has been good for Jeeves. He doesn't understand why the United States is the focal point of immigration for Mexican natives. "It seems a bit odd to me that no one in Mexico wants to remain here and work in the growing and prosperous drug cartel trade," he said.

Jeeves: Taking care of the laundry.

Is his work dangerous? Jeeves said not really. "I pretty much do the same work that I did before," answered Jeeves. "My employer has me chopping up and weighing...oh, I better not go into too much detail," he replied, stopping his words in mid-sentence.

Children adore him. "I'm rewarded daily by being able to answer questions for the children, teaching them things such as how to properly set a dinner table, get stains out of clothing, and the finest recipe for vichyssoise that was passed down to my family generation after generation," Jeeves proudly proclaims.

Clearly, Jeeves is having fun and happy to be working. He claims he doesn't miss his old job at all. "I'm too busy to even think about my old job. It got rather boring and mundane directing people to the same web sites days after day," stated Jeeves. "I'm happier now than I've ever been. Mexico had been very, very good to me," says a smiling Jeeves.

Jeeves, working for The Man: Happy and secure employment.


Ethics Complaint Filed Against Lying MN State Senator Dean Johnson

Ethics complaint filed against Liar, MN State Senator Dean Johnson - DFL, Commiecrat and Recording Star.

    Sens. Claire Robling of Jordan and Mike McGinn of Eagan took the lead on the complaint against Johnson of Willmar.

    "We're in an atmosphere where people don't hold a lot of trust in politicians," McGinn told reporters. "To have a member of our Senate be engaged in deceptive behavior like this does not bring honor and integrity to our institution."

    McGinn also suggested Johnson temporarily step down as majority leader while the Senate ethics panel considers the complaint.

    Specifically, the complaint alleges that Johnson violated a Senate rule prohibiting conduct that "betrays the public trust, or that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor or disrepute."

    Before examining the complaint, Johnson said he figured it was "just further political shenanigans by the Republican Party."

Seems like you're the one full of shenanigans, Pastor/Senator/Chaplain Johnson, the shenanigans of being a LIAR!

More details HERE.

State Senator Dean Johnson

Admit your lies and fabricated conversations with the MN Supreme Court Justices and then resign, Pastor Johnson.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

One Hit News

Teacher sues because chair she sat in made fart-like noises.

    Sue Storer, 48, told an industrial tribunal she was constantly apologising to children, parents and teachers about the rude noises which emanated from her chair every time she moved.

Maybe it wasn't the chair, Ms. Storer.
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Muslim girl loses legal battle to wear traditional dress to class.

    Shabina Begum, 17, won a Court of Appeal ruling last year that Denbigh High School in Luton violated her human rights by excluding her. But a panel of five Law Lords overturned the decision.

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Cat falls 80 feet; Video HERE. Cat is okay, plans to take flying lessons.
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I guess it is All About Abortion, All About Abortion for those NAGGY GALS.

    Two women's rights groups yesterday endorsed Philadelphia lawyer Alan M. Sandals for U.S. Senate, warning that abortion rights supporters may stay home this November if state Treasurer Robert P. Casey Jr. gets the Democratic Party's official nod...

    ...But Mr. Casey's opposition to abortion except in cases of rape, incest or when the life of the mother is at risk...has created discomfort in some sectors of the Democratic Party.

And the Left tells us they're not a One Issue Party! Good, stay home, don't vote. Pansy Asses!
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No Habla...Cannot Drive On Snowy Roads.

Ed Schultz Shoots His Dog

Ed Schultz Shoots His Dog!

Ed Schultz Shoots His Dog!

Press the > button to listen to the audio:

Big Fat Eddy Schultz

All voices are impersonated. Or...are...they?


The Theatrical Release of The Decade

The Movie That Everyone Is Talking About

Two Liberal Ladies, All Alone, In The Wilderness

Without Government Assistance...How Will They Survive?

Sham Cedar and His Triple Chin
Janeanneane "Four Eyes" Garafoolio

Linking Here:
Thus I Have Spoken

Top 10 Other Lies Told By Dean Johnson

After exhaustive investigation, the crack staff here at the mrssatan blogspot have uncovered even more lies told by Dean Johnson. We are working to locate the tape recordings, as in his other Lie.

Here are the lies we have uncovered, uttered by Minnesota State Senator Dean Johnson:

10) "I was the fifth Beatle."
9) "I invented the Internet."
8) "I am 'Deep Throat'."
7) "I was Francis Ford Coppola's first choice to play Don Corleone in 'The Godfather."
6) "I invented the MicroSoft Operating System."
5) "I was the first person to identify global warming."
4) "My life in college is the basis for 'Love Story'."
3) "I was the top scientist involved in The Manhattan Project."
2) "I had private conversations with the Minnesota Supreme Court Justices."
1) "I did have sexual relations, with that woman, Monica Lewinsky."


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

MrsSatan: She's Got The Balls

MrsSatan tells hubby No More Stealing the Limelight!

    After being surprised by her husband's role in the Dubai ports deal, Sen. Hillary Clinton has insisted that Bill Clinton give her "final say" over what he says and does, well-placed sources said.

    The former President agreed to give his wife a veto to avoid his habit of making controversial headlines that could hurt her chances of returning to the White House, multiple sources told the Daily News.

    "He knows it's Hillary's time now," said an adviser close to both Clintons...


"After being surprised by her husband's role in the Dubai port deals...." Does anyone - besides brainwashed liberals - believe she didn't know? Of course she knew. BubbaBoy was in Dubai, in 2002, collecting $300,000 speaking fee.

My, how the "smartest women on earth" manages to play dumb and all the Socialists buy it, believe her, and continue their ostrich syndrome.

Well, How Could She Not Know?

    Mrs Clinton's own senatorial financial disclosure forms reveal that her husband earned $450,000 giving speeches in Dubai in 2002.

    Officials from the UAE also donated between $500,000 and $1m to fund Mr. Clinton's presidential library in Arkansas.

If there's one thing these two people know, it's money. She knows exactly who her donors are and how much they give. And I don't believe for one second that she was unaware of hubby-the-rapist being in Dubai and getting paid for it.

I'm still waiting for MrsSatan to explain those missing-then-found billing records...the one's with her fingerprints all over them. Vince Foster, maybe, could have shed some light on this. But he was killed. Oops, I mean, he "committed" suicide.

MrsSatan: Why...She's The Smartest Woman in The Whole Darned World! Just ask her, she'll tell you so!

Good Bye Tony Almeida

Well, "24" knocked off another veteran character last night! Dang it, you "24" writers!

"They killed Tony! And Michelle! And Edgar!"

"You bastards!"

Blogworthy Tuesday

** Look out Ken, there's a new Stud Doll In Town. .12 gauge shotgun and addictive personality wife doll sold separately. H/T: Point B.
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** Happy One Year Blog-O-versary! And many, many more to come!
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** A Fine Looking Eagle, indeed. Any question why it's our national symbol?
- - -
** We haven't even completed three months of 2006 and already there's a nominee For 2006's Worst.Movie.Ever. It looks so cheesy it has to be good! More about this blockbuster film HERE!
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** Woman Rips off ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands. She tries to swallow it, but chokes on it, spits it out. Thanks, Sideshow, for bringing us the news that's not in the Mainstream Media!
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** Why spend two or more hours watching "Brokeback Mountain" when you can watch the condensed version in 30 seconds? And...it's performed by Bunnies!!
H/T: Dane Bramage.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Evil, Rich, Republican Senators

Ever since Florida's Katherine Harris stated last week that she is willing to put $10 Million of her own money into her campaign, money left to her from her father who died, Lefty Talk Radio has been making fun of her, calling her a rich b*tch, and tossing out their usual rhetoric of her being another example of a rich Republican buying their way into the U.S. Senate.

"Richie Rich Row"

Yeah, you know what, the Left is so right. Why, senators on the Left are all paycheck to paycheck working stiffs, surviving on rainwater, food stamps, and leftovers they scavenge from dumpster dives.

Four Lefty senators came to mind immediately:

Mark Dayton "earned" his fortune the old fashioned way; inheriting mega-millions from his Daddy "Department Store" Warbucks.

Ted Kennedy "earned" his fortune the old fashioned way; inheriting mega-millions from his Daddy "Whiskey Bootlegger" Warbucks.

John Kerry "earned" his fortune the old fashioned way; he married Momma "Ketchup" Warbucks.

And former Senator
John Edwards "earned" his fortune the old fashioned way; by suing for it.

Besides attacking Ms. Harris for putting $10 Mill of her own money into her race, the Left says "Well, her husband is worth around $27 Million so don't say you're putting all of your money into the race."

Well, that's just another example of the Left and their Lying. She never said she was going to put her husband's money into her race. So don't imply that she did and that she's being dishonest or disingenuous.

The Left, on the sidelines, jealous, full of hatred and rage, spewing lies whenever they open their mouths. It'd almost be funny if it weren't so sick and diseased.

Labels: , , ,

So Is Tonight Good-Bye Tony Almeida?

If you're not up-to-date on "24", and have recorded but not yet watched, last week or two weeks ago episodes of "24", skip this.
Okay, two weeks ago I asked myself, in what direction is "24" going? I mean, the writers are too good to let this season develop into a week after week series of "chase the nerve gas canisters". So...where are they going?

Two weeks ago the character of Edgar - bless his heart - was killed at the end of the episode. CTU HQ was flooded with nerve gas and Edgar didn't make it to a safe-room in time. Chloe, inside a safe-room along with others, watched Edgar die. Good-bye Edgar, we will all miss you.

Last week, Sean Astin's character Lynn McGill and a fellow CTU Agent died in what was a mission where their characters knew their lives would be compromised, but others would live because of it. They undertook the mission, to turn off a computer that only they could access because of nerve gas exposure. They were exposed to the gas and died but their heroic act enabled the others to survive.

I think Peter Weller is a fine actor, but his character is really pi**ing me off, I'd like to beat him with a tire iron. And last week, Christopher Henderson (Peter Weller), playing possum on an interrogation gurney, turns the ropes on Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard) by injecting Tony with a deadly dose of the interrogation injection meant for Henderson. The ending had Bauer yelling for help while he held onto Tony, so it is vague enough that Tony may not be dead. Or is he?
Dang you "24" writers.....

There has to be a vicious ending to the Henderson character, something that will make Weller's death scene in "Robocop" look like Sunday morning Mass.

President Logan is at a crisis of whether to enact Marshall Law or not, the Vice President (Ray "Leland 'Twin Peaks' Palmer" Wise) pushing for Marshall Law for his own political purposes.

And I'm guessing in tonight's episode all loose ends will be tied up in a gift-wrapped box with a pretty bow.

Or not.


Westboro Baptist Cult Silenced

A funeral protest ban was recently passed by the Minnesota House, with the vote being 133-0. 133 Representatives universally believed that the hate speech spewed by the Westboro Baptist Cult, the Fred Phelps faux religion that protests at the funeral of U.S. soldiers, was severe enough to restrict their protestations. This is a wonderful move forward. The MN Senate also has a bill moving forward that will cease the hatefilled antic of the Westboro Baptist Cult.

Besides protesting at soldiers' funerals, the Westboro Baptist Cult, loving and caring subhumans that they are, is the same band of attention-seekers who find it their "mission" to inform and advise us that "God Hates Fags". Really, is that what God thinks? Did He tell you that in person or did He leave you a voicemail message? Perhaps God sent you an e-mail saying so. Can you verify and authenticate that? I didn't think so.

The bill that passed the MN House makes it illegal to intentionally disrupt funerals by picketing or protesting a hour before, and after, a funeral service.

Daughter of Cult Founder Freddie Phelps, Shirley Phelps-Roper (care to add another hyphenated last name there, Shirley?) said "We can go and stand with our picket signs and not violate their cotton-picking laws." "Oh, Dat's So Sad", Shirley. I'm sure you hold laws that benefit you and your Cult to the highest standard of interpretation and enforcement, but you don't want the same applying to others. Gee, that's too bad. Maybe you should just shut your collective pie, cake and ice cream holes and turn your attention to...I don't know...doing something good for the world rather than spreading your hatred?

Funny, that Westboro Baptist Cult is, for they recently canceled their protest at the funeral of a Superior, Wisconsin military funeral because they were concerned that, if their own Cult members were arrested during the protest, that their children would be taken into custody by child-protection agency workers. Gee, Shirley, just can't stomach the laws that in the justice system apply to you and yours, but my, how you want to split hairs on laws you apply to others based upon your jaundiced and bigoted view of the laws protecting others. What a hypocrite.

Chuckie Boy Samuelson, pompous asshat, Executive Director of the MN ACLU, responding to the MN bills in the House and Senate said speech that is cruel and distasteful is still protected by the First Amendment. Yes it is, Chuckie Boy. Maybe when you kack I'll show up at your funeral with a "God Hates Chuckie and his ACLU" sign and see how tolerant your survivors are of my cruel and distasteful, yet free and protected speech.

Asshats: ACLU Samuelson * Subhuman Phelps-Roper

The Westboro Baptist Cult members, Shirley Phelps-Rogers-Add-Another-Name-Here, Chuckie Boy Samuelson...all of 'em, ASSHATS. The world will be a much better place when your time is up and you are gone. I will mourn your loss with a generous dose of GFR...Good F*cking Riddance.


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