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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Al Gore Fails To Impress American Idol Judges

Denver, CO - Former Vice President of The United States, Al Gore, failed to impress the American Idol judges with his musical performance audition in Denver yesterday. American Idol is currently conducting auditions across the nation and selecting the best performers who will advance to California for televised contests. Unfortunately for Mr. Gore, judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson did not like what they heard:

GORE: Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it...


Awkward pause.

GORE: How 'bout this one...
one, two, a-one two three four...

Forget your troubles
Come on get happy
You better chase all you cares away...


GORE: How 'bout this one..
one, two, a-one two three four...

What else should I be
All apologies...


GORE: How about this one...

Alright now!!
Won't you listen?

When I first met you, didn't realize
I cant forget you, for your surprise
You introduced me, to my mind
And left me wanting, you and your kind...

COWELL: Stop! STOP NOW! Look, I realize you were the Vice President at one time but given a choice between listening to another note from your voice and of running my genitals through an electric cheese grater, I'd choose the cheese grater!

ABDUL: You sounded much better on 'Sweet Leaf'.

JACKSON: Maybe next year Dawg....

GORE: Well, all right then. Let me know if you change your mind.


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