Sunday, October 30, 2005
The Gigantic Pumpkin
Cindy: Here we are, in the great Liberal Pumpkin Patch, waiting for the arrival of the Gigantic Pumpkin! Every Halloween The Gigantic Pumpkin flies...well, it's actually more of a slow, ponderous, wobbling...through the air, with his bag of half-truth and distorted documentaries, and spreading propaganda from his web site. If we sit here all night, we may get to see him.
MrsSatan: Nobody is scarier than me on Halloween.
Cindy: Here he comes, and - OH NO! - he's out of candy! He's going to steal what little candy we have!
MrsSatan: Don't you take away my candy you Fat Bastard! Shoo! Shoo - get away!
Gigantic Pumpkin: I'm hungry, give me your candy or else! Baw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!
News Noticed Abroad
Item: Australian Navy denies anything to do with deaths of whales by beaching. Australian Military Spokesman Connor Cody Brodie noted clean up and removal of the whales would be solved by grilling them and calling in This Guy with a tanker full of tartar sauce.
Item: The potential havoc wreaked by The Super Flu is being addressed:
While it is impossible to say when the next super-flu will strike, there have been three pandemics in the last century and influenza experts say the world is overdue. Concern is growing that the bird flu could trigger one if it mutates to start spreading easily among people - something that hasn't yet happened.
Item: THIS WILL HAVE TO go down as the years best, falsely premised submission for the "He was only speaking figuratively" Award.
ABC Circus This Week
Harry, have you finally stepped into the deep, unretractable abyss of rank political partisanship? Yeah, I think it's safe to say he has. Often, host George Stephanopoulos seemed incredulous at the unrelated non-answers Reid gave to specific questions asked by Stephanopoulos.
Why should President Bush apologize? For Scooter Libby? We should all wait until the trial is completed and a verdict reached before leaping to suggest the president say something that only you want to hear? Hey, here's one better: How about President Bush, at the podium, utters a voice-cracking "I feel your pain." Will that give you the warm fuzzy you seek, Mr.Reid?
Cokie Roberts, looking freshly pulled out from a casket and making regular appearances on the round table discussion, noted that an ABC Poll resulted in 55% responding see a "pattern of [lying]" with the President and Vice President's offices. Ooooooh, we all better double down and bet the house on the accuracy of that ABC Poll. I'm sure the ABC poll wasn't biased or slanted in any way.
Did I hear Cokie say, regarding gender of the next nominee for the Supreme Court -- did I hear her say "There's not enough white men left in the country to go around"? I'm going to have to check their transcript on their site later. I don't know how George Will can sit there, week after week, year after year, without going insane listening to these people.
And week after week some people hear that garbage and they believe it? I get my news on that inter-web, damnit.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Halloween DVD / Video Rental Recommendations
If you're looking for something other than the routine recommended Halloween "scary movies" to sit down to, here's a few suggestions:
Dead/Alive also known as "Braindead" (1992). "A young man's mother is bitten by a "rat monkey." She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors."
George A. Romero's 1978 masterpiece Dawn Of The Dead. In this first sequel to Night of the Living Dead, a group of four people take up residence in a deserted mall while trying to stay alive amidst the armies of the dead and a vicious gang of militant bikers.
Delicatessen. "Post-apocalyptic surrealist black comedy about the landlord of an apartment building who creates cannibalistic meals for his odd tenants."
A personal favorite, and all-around fun one to watch: Motel Hell. It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters.
Re-Animator, another personal oft-viewed favorite. A dedicated student at a medical college and his girlfriend become involved in bizarre experiments centering around the re-animation of dead tissue when an odd new student arrives on campus.
Basket Case 1, a young man carrying a big basket, containing his deformed Siamese brother is seeking revenge on the doctors who separated them. And the incredibly dry, satirical but played-for-straight sequel Basket Case 2. After surviving the fall from their hotel room window, Duane Bradley and his misshapen, basket-dwelling brother Belial are taken to the city hospital. By now, their attempt at leading a secret life is blown, and the pair have become media darlings across the country.
For those who prefer to be disturbed while viewing, and after it's over as well, David Lynch's 'Eraserhead' takes a back seat to nothing. Plot Summary Here.
Last, but by no means least, 1975's Made for TV Trilogy of Terror holds its own standard of distinction for its third installment of an African doll that comes to life, zipping across the floors and rooms of an apartment trying to kill Karen Black. Apparently enough people remember this segment and the Doll. The camera work of the doll zipping across the floors and the carpeting are fantastic.
So there you are, a few suggestions off the beaten path from the usual Halloween-time scary rentals. Or, you could always visit this place to scare the sh*t out of you! It sends shivers up my spine!
Boo! Enjoy, and yes, that's just the tree branch tapping against the window.
"Oh Mr. Annan"...."Yes!, Mr. Merimee...."
"K.A., are you asking me to look the other way?"
"Oh, J.B.M., you are so literal. Yes, I am asking you to look the other way."
"I already am."
Jean-Bernard Merimee, France's former UN ambassador, received $165,725 in commissions from oil allocations awarded to him by the Iraqi regime. The report named some high-profile individuals and companies including a former French interior minister, Charles Pasqua; Rev. Jean-Marie Benjamin, a priest who once worked as an assistant to the Vatican secretary of state and opposed Iraqi sanctions; carmakers DaimlerChrysler, Volvo and South Korea' Daewoo International; and industrial giants Siemens. Pasqua, a conservative who headed the interior ministry in the late 1980s and early 1990s, said he was unwittingly implicated.
"[the investigation] meticulously detailed how the $64 BILLION program became a cash cow for Saddam...", and those companies and individuals who were paid off were paid off "at the expense of regular Iraqis SUFFERING under tough U.N. sanctions."
And this organization, the U.N., is the group that the Liberals tout as a governing body to which we, the U.S., should submit its subservience? NO COUNTRY should have to be held accountable or answerable to the U.N. - ever.
"The corruption of the program by Saddam would not nearly have been so pervasive if they had been diligent management by the United Nations and its agencies," said Volker. In other words, Saddam Hussein had the U.N. et al, in the palm of his hand. Meanwhile, Iraqi people suffered and died, were brutalized and executed during Hussein's presidency.
If a business or company ran itself the way the U.N. has run and 'managed' itself, not only would that business be financially bankrupt and ruined, the officers, by all accounts, would be tried and likely found guilty of, and in violation of, its own resolutions (yeah, that's like a ticket for littering) bribery, sedition, and participation in genocide to name but a few things.
The U.N. is to a governing body what Union Carbide was to Bopahl, India. Far worse, actually, because the U.N. crowd had to have known what they were doing was wrong. This is not a governing body that the U.S. needs to answer to, Thank You.
A business run like the U.N. would be gutted. The same should apply to the U.N. I'm sure there are many good people doing good work for the U.N., but it's time to say good bye to all of them, and rebuild and retool. Or let it implode and collapse. That would probably be the better result.
The Left never lets us forget their mantra about an "oil connection to the 'war for oil' and Bush, Cheney, Halliburton", but none of the Left believe the charges about those named in the Volker investigation were on the take?
"Oh Mr. Annan."
"Yes, 'Mister H'?"
"Get me twenty more of those solid gold lion statues for my palaces."
"Yes, 'Mister H', right away..."
"Wait, that's not all. Here's a shopping list."
"Happy to oblige."
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Her Stoic Amnesia And This Is Why...
Lady Macbeth...I mean, Hillary Clinto...er, mrssatan is a good one to use the phrase Historical Amnesia. Uh huh. HER-storical Amnesia?
mrssatan, the Queen of "I don't Recall".
Maybe I should cut Bubba's wife some slack. She could be in the early stages of dementia and Alzheimer's disease. I mean this seriously. She has a pattern of not being able to recall circumstances that, to most other people, would be significant events in one's life. And to continue to not be able to recall these events could be an early symptom.
MrsSatan: "I will Rule You!"
Notable News Items
Of course, there's no reason at all that should be preventing U.S. cities from having private smoking clubs, bars, etc. Oh wait, yeah, there is something preventing us from having that...it's Extreme Political Correctness and liberalism run amok. Yeah, that's why a legal and taxed product is demonized.
Item: Well, you can have your private smoking club in the UK, but you can't have Risky Postcards, where - in RIO? Oh my, we cant have anything titillating. Did you ever notice you can't spell the word titillating with using the word...oh...you know....
Item: The Department To Coordinate the Distribution of Medical Marijuana. Where do I apply?
[Santa Cruz, CA] The City Council voted 4-2 Tuesday to create an Office of Compassionate Use, a five-member advisory board that would coordinate medical marijuana distribution within the city. User fees would fund the office, which likely would contract with pharmacies for distribution...
Where Did The Tele-Liberals Go?
Where did you go, Tele-Liberals?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Time For Tele-Liberals!
Over the hills and far away, spreading lies,
Tele-Liberals come out to pull the wool over your eyes...
Time for Tele-Liberals,
Time for Tele-Liberals,
Time for Tele-Liberals.
Chubbsy Wubbsy. "Chubbsy Wubbsy!"
Flip Flop. "Flip Flop!"
Scream, Oh No. (Everybody except Tele-Liberals scream): "Oh No!"
Chubbsy Wubbsy. Flip,Flop. Tipsy. Ho.
Scream, Oh No..... (Everybody): "Oh No!"
"Where have the Tele-Liberals gone?
Where have the Tele-Liberals gone?"
-----Voted out of office and not patronized by the Free Market?
Galloway Stands Tough!
Was (is?) Mr. Galloway on the Oil Take, or not? He doesn't seem to think so.
It claims that a Jordanian businessman and friend of Mr Galloway's, Fawaz Zureikat, channelled the money from the UN oil-for-food programme to the MP's former wife and to the Mariam Appeal.
It also cites testimony from the former Iraqi deputy prime minister Tariq Aziz who has been in jail since the US invasion of Iraq and who allegedly told investigators Mr Galloway had requested oil allocations in the name of Mr Zureikat.
The report also quotes the former Iraqi oil minister Amer Rashid as confirming Mr Galloway was granted oil allocations.
Rest In Peace Rosa Parks
Nothing I can write that could or would add to the wisdom of that quote. Rest In Peace, Good Lady.
Planet, Smoking or Non....
Maybe smoking and non-smoking states? Countries? Continents?
"Give me the cigarettes, HAL!"
"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Mooching...But It's All Good
Howlin' Howard Dean, sure seems to me, looks overly medicated in this image capture, doesn't he?
I thought I was the only one who had Conversations Like This. Whew! And the 8:30 bus arrives at 8:30!
Maximus Leader notes that the Avian Flu has claimed a well regarded parrot?
The Game bring us South Park takes on Katrina.
Basil Has News of The Worlds Smallest Car. Ed Begley asks, "Where can I get one and, like in 'Incredible Voyage', can I shrink down enough to fit in one?" No Ed, not yet. But I bet your brain would fit in the driver seat with room to spare.
Moe brings us some esoteric Animal Factoids:
In order to scare away predators, Giant petrels, a type of seabird, throw up all over the intruder. I've known people who do that too.
It can take up to a month for a rattlesnake to re-supply its venom. Obviously not a Democrat.
The bright skin that hangs from a turkey's neck is called a "wattle." Helen Thomas has one of those too.
Duck Land, as I write this actually. Flames, taking a loss to the Stars last night, hit L.A.
ReCap: Last night, the Wild gave the Blues the Blues in an incredible, edge of your seat game. Goalie Manny Fernandez was more than 'in the zone' for the 3-2 win. Detroit 6, Columbus 0 - ouch. Ottawa maintains perfection with zero losses, zero overtime losses.
Boston 6, the Penguins 3, remaining the only team without a win. HERE's one look at their situation, and how maybe they can Cut their losses.
And as I post this its Ducks 3, Coyotes 0.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Pretentious Prissy PETA Person Provocatively Petrified
The video takes a bit (a short bit) to load, but it is sooooooooooooo WORTH IT! A MUST SEE if ever there was one! ENJOY!
The Right Shines as They Steal Another Tactic From The Left's Playbook!
Lefty's, we all are laughing at you, laughing at your rank hypocrisy and bias. I ask you Liberace Liberals: Are you more proud of your bias or your ignorance? Tell me, I want to know.
The Right has turned the tables on you in the world of public relations. Scott McClellan uses the same tactics that were used by Joe Lockhart and Mike McCurry. And the Left is having hissy pissy fits over it. Gee, "Dat's So Sad!"
I almost never do predictions, but I will on the Tom DeLay matter. Here it is: Tom DeLay will be totally, completely vindicated. And once again, as almost always, the Left will have egg on its face. I can't even tell who you Lefty's are anymore because the yoke is all over you.
Prairie Home Products From mrssatan
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Never worry about morning sickness with The Prairie Home Diaphragm! Made of a sturdy, organic polymer, this diaphragm will prevent those little swimmers from penetrating that Lake WoDingleberryBeGone egg! Residents of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone are never without their Prairie Home diaphragm. Even the men have one with them at all times! WARNING: The Prairie Home Diaphragm should never be used as a yarmulke. Order two or more, and we will pay all postage, handling and shipping fees! Checks, money orders, and cash cannot be accepted. Orders can only be placed by using your UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. The Prairie Home Diaphragm can be yours for the low, low price of $399.99.
Churn your butt-er with this finely crafted Prairie Home Lake WoDingleberryBeGone kosher Butt-er Churn! Vigorously churn your Butt-er into a smooth, delectable treat for all to enjoy! Say 'no more' to store purchased, off-the-rack Butt-er Churns! This item is available for the low price of $179.95! Order two or more and we will include, free of charge, the "Very Best of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone" CD featuring classic program excerpts such as "Gary Loves His Butt-er Churn" and "Butt-er Love Is The Only Love Gary Knows". Order three or more and we will include, free of charge, a vat of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone Lubricant! Slide that Slippery Slope with the Butt-er Churn used by all who reside in Lake WoDingleberryBeGone.
No one should be without these fine Prairie Home products. Advertise your love of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone by wearing your Yarmulke, Diaphragm and Butt-er Churn wherever you go!
'Gary' uses these products. Shouldn't you too?
Legal Disclaimer: Quantity is limited so order immediately. The products above are for sale even though they may not be. Payment can only be accepted by putting the charge(s) on your UnoCal 76 gasoline credit card. No more than seventy items per household. Prairie Home Products may or not be affiliated with other similar named, Public Radio-teat-sucking bottom feeders. The name 'Gary' is a legal name, while Garrison is simply fictitious, made-up and phony. Nothing in this advertisement should be construed or interpreted as satire. S&H Green Stamps may be substituted in place of using your UnoCal 76 card. The maker of the above products assumes no legal liability or responsibility; in fact, we don't even know who the maker is or where the manufacturer resides. Companies that are incorporated in the state of Nevada may also be incorporated in Delaware. Residents of Lake WoDingleberryBeGone please include 100% sales tax. Offer void in Tennessee and The Islamic Republic of Iran.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
What Will They Call Apu?
Apu will be called 'Sven'? I wonder how they'll negate Ned Flanders' Christianity?
Next on Arab TV it's "CSI: Halab" ? ? ? "Law and Order: Tehran" ? ? "Everybody Loves Ayatollah" ? ?
"Caller from ar-Ramtha, you're on the air with Larry Queen...go ahead...you're question for Cindy Sheehan....."
Wish I Had More Time For...
And more time for this one as well: Whooooo Hooooooo! THIS is one movie I'll see! Someone turned the table on The Fat, Fat, FAT Bastard.
Speaking of El Obesoto Maximus Capacitous, I haven't heard much lately about his Fat, Blubbery, Corpulent, Roly-Poly Pritikin Stay.
I hope nothing has happened to Flabbius.
You don't suppose he's starved to death by now, do you? Somehow, I don't think we could be that lucky.
Credits: Thanks to Baby Girl, and Crack The Hammer for the 'heads up' to the above news items!
Turd Blossom the Truth Denier
Full Time Truth Denier that he is, last night, he continued to put forth misinforma--lies--but that's okay, I expect it from Turd Blossom. You see, Truth Denier Turd Blossom, when you said your boy Bubba was impeached " only because of [Monica Lewinsky]" you, of course, were wrong, again. Actually, you do bat 1000; you're never correct!
The articles of impeachment can be found HERE. Please note, Truth Denier, that the link is to CNN, your gospel source of truth and fact so it must be true, huh--huh--HUH?!
And Here's a little bit more information you won't hear from Turd Blossom.
Truth Denier Turd Blossom also had audacity to call Laura Bush, Condi Rice, and a host of other conservative/Republican women, "Ugly", and he wasn't speaking figuratively, either. It made me laugh. He must not have seen THIS FINE WORK!
And larger, more detailed images of the same HERE and HERE. Gee, that first group sure makes you...shrink up some, huh? Huh? Then the second group undoes all the damage.
By the way, Truth Denier Turd Blossom, we had The Department of Piece with Bubba. You probably don't remember because of the progressive dementia. Time for Kathy to change your drool bib?
Continue spreading lies and propaganda Truth Denier Turd Blossom. You provide me endless material.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Future Headline: Suspect Nabbed. Police Tracked Yellow Dots
Maybe they know who you are. Maybe there's a van parked down the street surreptitiously eavesdropping in on everything you say in what you think is the safety of your house. Maybe they have thermal-imaging cameras that can see through the walls.
Your Printer is the stoolie, the snitch, the tattletale, the fink, the snake, yeah, yeah, that's who it is. It's your Printer! That's who ratted you out, your Printer, that lousy bum!
Yellow Dots...Yellow Dots...the Horror...the Horror...
"Out, damned dot! Out, I say!"
What kind of boobs?
Ugh! I hope I still will be able to eat pizza. Thanks, Bryan!
Scientomogy, Cruise, Lake WoDingleberry: "They all NUTS!"
And I'm only too happy to LINK to a site like this, that is rabble rousing! Go for it!
You know who else is nuts? That old, dry, unfunny, feed-at-the-trough-of-Public Radio-guy from Lake WoDingleberry-what's his name. Check This Story out.
"We believe that your use of these words creates a likelihood that the public will be confused as to the sponsorship of the T-Shirt and our client's services and products".
No, it's not about a 'confused public' at all. Follow the MONEY.
So we have the creator of Lake WoDingleberry, who makes money satirizing other public figures, quashing someone else who is doing the same thing.
Boy, it's a good thing it's not somebody like Rush Limbaugh doing this to another. If it were, I'd be sick of the press coverage by now.
William Shatner hospitalized...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Cheney Resign "Talk"
But we do know this much: Judith Miller "Can't Recall". Ahhhhhh, the "I can't recall" ploy.
These are some of my favorite variations of "I don't recall." I've even used some of them from time to time:
"I just don't recall."
"I used to know, but now, I can't recall."
"You know, I just don't know. I don't remember at this point."
"I used to know that, but it seems I've now forgotten."
"Could you repeat the question? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't recall."
"Who What Now?"
Don't you just love a good "I Don't Recall" story? You know it's horse manure the moment you hear it, right?
This person said "I Don't Recall" plenty O' Times! And Again!
Here's a Good Compilation of "I Don't Recalls". Ummm, or at least I think it's there. I, er...ah, don't recall.
The Left Takes Their Own Medicine and Makes a Yucky Face!
THOMAS: I'm opposed to preemptive war, unprovoked preemptive war.
What kind of a man is Bill Clinton?
Helen Thomas: Well, I think his heart was in the right place. I think that he really was trying very hard to be a very good president.
You see, the Right learned this PR technique from Joe Lockhart and Mike McCurry. It's being turned back on to you, Lefties. Don't like it, huh? "Oh, dat's so sad!"
Tom DeLay: Left Lacks Laundry List
So, you DON'T have THEE actual, genuine LIST that you really need to put DeLay away, do you? Huh! Maybe you can get Dan and CBS to forge one for you that you can call "original". Maybe the list you need is stapled to the back of a Whitewater Billing Record?
Or maybe, It's Just Dirty Politics on The Left's Part. Naaaaaw, the Left wouldn't do that, would they?
"I don't recall."
Acidman is "On Holiday", or "will be", as they say in the entertainment biz. Wishing you a speedy and rapid return!
A Link to Turd Kennedy
Labels: Ted Kennedy
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Avian-I Love You PC Virus
Currently, limited information is available about the new virus. Anti-virus software makers and providers are working around the clock to determine how to combat the virus and prevent its spread. The first reported attacks of the Avian-I Love You virus was experienced by the Danish telecom giant Eritas, LLC.
"What we have is a new, emerging, avian flu virus that, rather than infect people, took a left turn and selected instead computers and networks to be it's host. This virus is several steps ahead of current anti-virus products," said Jim McJim, Chairman of McJim Network Solutions, from his London office. McJim strongly suspects the Avian-I Love You virus is fowl-terrorist related.
They way the virus works is, once your PC or network is infected with the Avian-I Love You virus, it takes over the hard drive or network. The virus then surrounds those environments with something similar to an egg shell, taking control of the system. If that happens, your system is ruined forever. Hackers call it 'laying an egg'. Says McJim, "What we don't yet know is, how it is contracted."
The key in avoiding the virus is early detection according to Dr. Leather Hockleer of The Hockleer Institute. A combination of the avian flu virus and original I Love You virus, the new strain is a ticking time bomb. "Jim is right on the money that this virus is one bad egg, so to speak," said Hockleer.
"This is one egg that shouldn't hatch," intones McJim, "it's no yoke."
Co-Written With S.T. Miller
Recap: A favorite team of my, the Penguins, are winless so far this season. I have no doubt they'll get their act together, revamp, and be a force to contend with. The Thrashers took two tough losses over the weekend. Friday, they gave up net in a 9-1 loss to Toronto. Saturday the Rangers held ice winning 5-1. They too should rebound, especially after a day or two off coming up. The Senators and the (insert "Jaws" music) Predators both remain unbeaten.
Brett Hull Retires. Stats Here.
Rank of NHL goal scorers:
1- Wayne Gretzky - 894
2- Gordie Howe - 801
3- Brett Hull - 741
Atlanta Hawks Jason Collier Dies
A Break, Please
Earthquake Update Here.
Guatemala Mudslide Update Here
Jesse, Don't Let the door Hit ya...
In a loonier moment, Ventura claimed that with nine of his SEAL buddies, he could form five roaming sniper squads that would paralyze the nation.
"I'm the most dangerous man in the country," he told [host Donny] Deutsch.
Ventura's big announcement, if anyone was listening, is that he plans to leave the country in search of a place with a greater respect for freedom and civil liberties. After a couple of commercial breaks, Ventura returned to the topic, while refusing to divulge where he'd be bringing his bigtop. People would try to find him, he said--the old Jesse paranoia.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
From Kerry/Edwards, With Love...
An e-mail I received from johnkerry-johnedwards.net, sent by three ladies named Barbara (Sandy Beach), Acchu and Lynn, was blank. They had their little Yahoo Asleep turned on, each face by their names. The perhaps funny thing about the email was, there was no text. It was blank. This is no surprise. The blankness of their email represents the collective body of thought of the Left in general. It took the combined efforts of THREE Kerry-Edwards ladies to compose a blank, wordless, email? Hey, my hat's off to you. I thought it would take at least a dozen "of you" to create something to that degree of refined caliber communication.
Actually, the statement-less email is representative of not only the brain wave activity of the Left, but their objective, well thought and fair political policies. Maybe the wordlessness is supposed to be a joke? Hoo-Haa-Haa-Haa-Haa, you Libs and your wonderful sense of humor. One can tell you have a bevy of joke writers providing outstanding, conceptual, finessed jabs and high-road humor at your disposal to slay your opponents or those that disagree with your Socialistic views.
Your email reminds me of both the 2004 John Kerry, and 2000 Al Gore, presidential campaigns. Both candidates with blank and idea-less platforms. Both candidates who believed they could win the election with unspecific, vague generalizations and one specific candidate (Kerry), who would flip-flop his stand on any topic depending on the audience before him. We kept hearing how the Left "has a plan", but no one could articulate what it was (well, beyond "Blame Bush and Republicans"). Nothing to say, no message to convey, nothing substantive to offer, nothing proactive. The "Usual", as it's called in the bar biz.
Kerry Gals, it appears you at least know and recognize your strengths and weaknesses and your email has as much to offer as the party to which you align yourselves. God Bless Ya! Keep up the good work.
Gore Declares Himself President as Winner of Iraq Election
The nonpolitical, unbiased, nonprofit George Soros Global Committee For Free and Uninfluenced Elections also claimed Gore was "overwhelmingly and fairly elected by a large, huge, big, really big, neutral, unbiased, wide, very very wide, margin. Too wide a margin to be contested. Really. Far too wide to be contested."
People all over Iraq voted today in a historic election for a Constitution. "Who the *&%$ is this Gore guy, and why does he claim to be President of Iraq," asked voter Jorge alza-Clooney.
Gore said, "I am," and then he paused, almost as if fighting back tears, "finally going to be known as 'President Gore'". The Iraqi crowd that gathered listening to him snickered.
"Gee Your Skin Smells Terrific...
"A Chinese manufacturer of injectable collagen for use in cosmetic lip and wrinkle treatments has admitted to a UK news source that the company routinely sources materials from the skin of executed convicts as well as from aborted babies. An agent from the company told a Guardian reporter posing as a prospective client that use of skin from these sources is not unusual in China."
Ancient Chinese Secret?
Friday, October 14, 2005
The Goose That Laid The Doomsday Virus
And these geese leave some big...Deposits...Evacuations, if you will, all over. The grass, sidewalk, driveway, parks, parking lots...Everywhere. Some golf courses are inundated with extra green on the greens. Thin the herd before it thins us. Unless Karl Rove can make happen that the avian virus infects Liberals only, then I'm all for it. And I'm sure Karl is working on that, too. Way to go, Karl! And I'm sure the avian flu is all the fault of the Bush Administration.
4,000 Year Old Bowl of Noodles Found...
A Whole 'Lotta Crushin' Goin' On
"We're Saudi Arabia, and we're your friend. We're going to crush terrorism. Really, we are."
CENTCOM has news, info and photos from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Endure.
I'm an honored, Sir, that you stumbled across my blog, and proud to add it to the list of links on the Right, just under the links to Conservative Talk Radio Hosts and finance links.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Chavez To Expel U.S. Missionary Group
The President of Venezuela demonstrates: "This is the church, this is the steeple. See Hugo Chavez expel the religious people."
Different Species, Same Joke
Again, reasons for its extinction are only slightly speculative.
"Put a few more on the grill, these are good!"
News Worth Noting
Item: al Qaeda claims letter a fake. Dan Rather LEAPS to claim credit for writing it.
Item: Key al Qaeda operative nabbed.
The Vike's Boat
The Vike's Boat
Sodomy, exciting not new
Come aboard, Let us bugger you!
Fellatio - life's sweetest reward.
On the Vike's Boat you will never be bored!
The Vike's Boat soon will be docking along your shores
The Vike's Boat promises toys and promiscuous multi-partner whores
Don't Go Tellin' Coach Tice
Because that wouldn't be nice!
Vike's Boat sexcapades - fun as all hell
It's what life is like in the NFL.
Yes Viiiiiike's Boat. The Viiiiike's Boat! (Hey-Ah! Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh Ahh!)
The Vike's Boat helps to forget our games of loss
The Vike's Boat party would'a been 'lot more fun with Randy Moss
Join a threesome or foursome
Don't forget the Reach-Around!
We all got kicked off the yacht
Guess we were caught
With Pants Dooooooooown! Pants Doooooooown! The Viking's Boat Pants Dooooown-ah-ah-AH!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Title: To establish and rapidly implement regulations for State driver's license and identification document security standards, to prevent terrorists from abusing the asylum laws of the United States, to unify terrorism-related grounds for inadmissibility and removal, and to ensure expeditious construction of the San Diego border fence.
"The Real ID is vital to preventing foreign terrorists from hiding in plain sight while conducting their operations and planning attacks," Sensenbrenner said. "By targeting terrorist travel, the Real ID will assist in our war-on-terror efforts to disrupt terrorist operations and help secure our borders."
You know, this Driver License Nationalization gimmick is just that, a gimmick. Putting into practice what the bill calls for isn't going to stop anybody from doing any of the things noted above.
Let me get this right, Mr. Sensenbrenner, instead of concentrating on the individuals who illegally cross the border in San Diego and putting time and money into the problem there, you are instead requiring those who were born here and those who come here legally to have to register as "legal citizens"? Did you consider building a big fence? A really, really big one?
And your bill will stop terrorists how? By making my SSN and other identifying numbers all part of a National I.D. Card? And this reduces terrorism how?
How about doing a better job of the screening process of people coming in? Whew, that must not be pork barrel enough for Sensenbrenner. See, folks, not only Liberals can make bad law. Republicans do their share too! That's why I have consistently said I'm Independent/Libertarian.
Hey- Thanks SenSen for selling my privacy. I'm sure though, that all that information will be kept as guarded as the SSN was promised to be "only for tax information" when it walked the plank and splashed into our lives.
A few years ago Minnesota tried the same thing, "investing" (i.e. spending money) in upgrading the DL and making it harder to forge. Not only does that story note itself that fakes appeared afterward, This Guy sold fake ID's for years, many of them fake MN DL's!
This legislation is frightening under any political party.
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